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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142036">Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HidingBehindAGlassWall/pseuds/HidingBehindAGlassWall'>HidingBehindAGlassWall</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Riverdale (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of abuse, Minor Character Death (Mentioned), Prom, Protective Cheryl Blossom, Soft Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, Use of drugs (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 12:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>57,762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HidingBehindAGlassWall/pseuds/HidingBehindAGlassWall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What’s in a name? History, prejudice, repercussions of ancestors, a past unable to be forgotten, claws of family desperate to ensure said name is maintained in the very evil nature it’d been created.</p><p>But what’s in a person? A soul, a warm beating heart, laughter and joy, the craving to be loved and to give love and a desperation to be nothing more than happy.</p><p>---------------</p><p>Aka the 5x01 rewrite bc they did Toni and Choni so dirty and they deserve so much better</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi friends :D</p><p>Hahaha Serpent fic look away...</p><p>Baso 5x01 was abysmal and we all know it and how they treated Toni and her storyline gave me so much rage I couldn't not rewrite it.</p><p>This is like canon but also not canon, it's kinda my take on stuff so it isn't necessarily going to follow the ep full, and the end is just outright non-canon, so yeah just so you're not think it's gonna be something it's not!</p><p>10 points to Slytherin if you find the cheeky Shakespeare refs throughout, bc there are many, Romeo and Juliet and all that amirite?</p><p>This is long af so I'll be posting in parts but I'll do them quickly, like I did the time jump fic, so no worries!</p><p>And THEN I'll get to the Serpent fic I swear!<br/>And THEN I'll get to TCON,<br/>oh gosh so much to do *cries*</p><p>ANYWAYS, I hope you like it, as you know comments and thoughts make my heart happy!</p><p>Luce :D</p><p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a week before prom and it’s safe to say Cheryl Blossom is taking it seriously. </p><p>Like ridiculously so.</p><p>And yes, okay, Toni’s excited for it too. Not only is Senior Prom an event that you look forward to since your first day walking through the doors of Highschool, but she’s also simply excited to know she was <em> having </em> one. Southside High had never had the funding, or care, to host such events.</p><p>The pink haired girl smiles to herself as she watches Cheryl finish getting ready for bed. She’s looking forward to getting dressed up and spending the night in her girlfriend’s arms as they dance with their friends, celebrating the end of High School.</p><p>They’d done it.</p><p>They’d actually gone and done it.</p><p>In spite of it all, and god has there been <em> a lot. </em></p><p>The Gargoyle King. A seizure epidemic. An organ stealing cult. Gryphons and Gargoyles. Living with the actual corpse of her girlfriend’s twin brother, whose demise came at the hands of his own father. That doll. Archie being framed for murder and a subsequent prison break. Jughead faking his own death, and genuinely nearly dying that time before with Penny. Gang wars. Ghoulies. Fangs getting shot. Death brought about by their own hands, or being acomplaces in such. Jingle Jangle and the Sugarman. Her friends being actively hunted through the Blossom estate.</p><p>Oh, and a <em> literal fucking serial killer. </em></p><p>The list of horrors they’ve endured was endless.</p><p>And yet, they’ve made it to the end.</p><p>Well, okay, not quite, there’s still time for everything to come crashing down, but god the end is so close Toni can practically taste it, it feels like they’ve already won.</p><p>
  <em> Famous last words Toni. Famous last words. </em>
</p><p>Toni breathes a sigh as she smiles up at the redhead slipping into the silk sheets next to her, between getting Cheryl’s corsage, waiting for her love whilst she tried her dress on after some minor tailoring alterations and the seemingly endless list of other prom preparations she’d endured that day, it’s safe to say she’s exhausted. </p><p>That, and she just really wants a cuddle. </p><p>Cheryl shifts to sit against the headboard and opens her arms wordlessly, knowing that after a busy day where their physical contact had been mainly limited to holding hands and fleeting pecks, Toni would be craving her touch.</p><p>Of course the redhead was yearning for her too, how she cherished having Toni in her arms, but her love’s desire for affection is something she adores about her. Toni is needy, almost to the extent of being clingy, and Cheryl relishes it. </p><p>How she loves when Toni seeks out contact, the brushing of fingers over skin, sitting impossibly close with thighs touching, her little hand slipping into Cheryl’s own, how she often felt her settling into her lap despite a perfectly empty seat next to her.</p><p>Feeling an appreciative hum vibrate through the smaller girl as she lays her head upon a pale shoulder, Cheryl can’t help but smile. God how she <em> adores </em> this being of utter perfection.</p><p>They enjoy the moment for a while, savouring the feeling of their hearts beating in perfect syncopation whilst being calmed by the lull of the rise and fall of their chests.</p><p>It’s Cheryl who breaks the moment, “so TT, I was thinking and I have a proposal for you.”</p><p>She trails off as Toni looks up at her with curious eyes, pausing a moment to tuck an errant lock of pink behind her ear tenderly before continuing, “I’d like for us to host a din din before the dance.”</p><p>Toni smiles warmly, enjoying the thought of laughing around the table and enjoying time with their friends before heading to prom and celebrating all they’d been through, “I’m down, who should we invite? The Vixens, Kevin, Fangs-”</p><p>She’s interrupted by, a now apprehensive, Cheryl before she can list the rest of their friends. “I was thinking, our families, specifically yours, my love.” However the second the words leave her lips, Toni’s smile is replaced by a look of sorrow. </p><p>Yes okay, Cheryl knows that things with Toni’s family are rough, especially with them only just recently having made themselves more prominent figures in her life after finding out about her Uncle’s treatment of her, but she’d hoped this would be something to help further along the bond being forged.</p><p>“Cheryl,” Toni’s voice makes the redhead’s gut plummet. She knows this tone. This is the voice of someone who’s about to not only disagree with her, but also reveal information that she knows is going to make her heart ache.</p><p>“Even though I’m out to my Grandparents,” Toni sighs, weighted and sombre, “we’ve only just started reconnecting, I’m not sure a big gay dinner party is the right way to go about introducing them to you. You know how hard it was getting them to accept that a Blossom was becoming a Serpent. To find out I’m dating her, that I’m <em> in love with her, </em> it’s something that I’m having to approach so slowly, so <em> carefully.” </em></p><p>Cheryl opens her mouth to reply but Toni swiftly cuts her off, reaching up to cup a pale cheek, “not that I don’t want to Cher because you <em> know </em> how important you are to me and how much it would mean for them to meet you, but I just, it’s like everything is balanced precariously on this tightrope and if I wanna get to the end of it I have to be so careful otherwise everything will fall off.”</p><p>The redhead swallows, hard. </p><p>Whilst she understands the difficulties that come with a non-hetrosexual relationship, she can’t say this doesn’t hurt. “Well,” she sighs, “what happens when I meet them at graduation? Do I just pretend that you’re not my girlfriend?”</p><p>She can feel tears beginning to form as she speaks and wills them away, but to no avail. The thought of one of the most important moments of her life so far being spent unable to be spent truthfully with the most important person in her life, well, it pains her to say the least.</p><p>Toni’s eyes widen instantly, hurrying to end the insecurities in Cheryl’s mind before they can grow. “No Cheryl, <em>never.</em> I’m so proud to be yours and call you mine, and I don’t want to pretend anything. I want to be us, as we should be, but I think, I think it’s going to take some time for me to get them to understand that you’re not your ancestors. You know how they are about that stuff, and I get why, I really do, Cher <em>I know</em> that you’re not like that, but they’re gonna have a hard time understanding it.” She sighs, “and there’s the whole thing with my Serpent legacy too and I just, I need some time to talk to them about everything and make them see the truth past their assumptions.”</p><p>What's that saying? </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy indeed Toni, uneasy indeed. </em>
</p><p>A tear escapes its barrier, Cheryl too overcome with this new gnawing feeling in her gut to even try and prevent it, “I get it my love, truly, I do, I know what it’s like to have to walk on eggshells around family in order to keep them, and I understand the reason for your Grandparents <em> apprehensiveness, </em> but I can’t lie to you and say that this doesn’t hurt.”</p><p>A soft thumb caresses a pale cheek, capturing the droplets of sorrow and wiping them away, as if the action would hopefully have the same effect on Cheryl’s aching heart. </p><p>“I know babe, and I know it’s backwards and I know it’s unfair, but I swear to you Cheryl, I’m not going anywhere, I promised you that you’ll never be alone again and I intend to keep that promise, I just, I’m trying to balance everything and it’s so <em> hard. </em> But I need you to remember how much I love you, and that you’re not going to lose me Cher, my family won’t take me away from you.</p><p>Cheryl turns her head slightly to press a kiss against the pad of Toni’s thumb, “I know that Toni, truly I do, and I love you for it. I suppose it just hurts to know that the curse that is my family name and the actions of my ancestors are still having repercussions even now, and that there’s nothing I can do to fix any of it. And gosh TT I don’t want this <em> for you. </em> I don’t want your two worlds to collide, I want them to coexist peacefully, and it pains my heart that my surname is the reason that there’s difficulty in your life.”</p><p>Toni sends her a sad smile, “I know babe, but it’s not <em> your </em> fault, it’s just, this is my reality right now and the truth is that my Grandparents need some time to realise that your surname doesn’t define you,” a small hand comes to rest delicately on her chest, “it’s what's <em> in here </em> that does.”</p><p>Cheryl’s heart still pains at the thought that the repercussions of her ancestors actions were still rippling through time and there was no way she could prevent the waves from reaching her and Toni. </p><p>She shifts to lay down, pulling Toni into her chest tightly, “I love you Toni, and I only ever want what’s best for you, so as hard as it might be to have to downplay us or be careful with things in front of them, if that’s what needs to happen until the time is right then that’s what we’ll do okay?”</p><p>She feels Toni nod against her chest before a kiss is placed against her sternum, “as I love you Cher, and I- I don’t want to downplay us, I don’t want to have to act any different, but I am going to need time to talk to them, to make them see that this isn’t going to be some feud of the ancients passed down through the ages, that not everyone in a family is the same, that <em> you’re </em> not the same. And it’s one of the reasons I love you, but I just,” she sighs, weightedly, “I need to be so careful about it all.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head, Toni.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl presses a kiss to her head, savouring the sweet scent of Toni’s shampoo. “I understand ma cheriè, truly I do. But please, if there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to tell me okay? I know I’ve made it clear how important prom is to me, but nothing takes precedence over you.”</p><p>Toni nods appreciatively, “I will Cher, I promise.”</p><p>As they allow sleep to take them over, neither girl is able to ignore the growing worry inside them at the thought of things not being as simple as just needing time. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy indeed. </em>
</p><p>Well, they always did say the course of true love never did run smooth. </p><p>And when it came to Cheryl and Toni’s love, neither were sure there was anything truer.</p><p> </p><p>-------------</p><p> </p><p>It’s been two days since her and Cheryl’s conversation, and it’s safe to say the pressure burdening Toni is heavier than ever.</p><p>Having so many things balanced precariously upon her shoulders is just so <em> exhausting. </em></p><p>Her family’s past, the knowledge of her ancestors and her Uktena history and the Blossom families part in said history, trying to figure out how to deal with her Nana - and Grandad - without hurting Cheryl or their relationship, her Serpent legacy and beginning moves to take her rightful crown, Prom is but days away and <em> god she’s just so tired. </em></p><p>Cheryl’s out getting her nails done and so Toni’s trying to do some reading for her English project. However it would seem that no amount of attempting to force her mind into the world of the tattered pages in her grasp would be able to remove her from her reality. </p><p>She just wanted things to be simple, to have her Grandparents back in a life that also included Cheryl. </p><p>Yes she isn’t naive enough to even entertain the idea that they’d accept the person her heart has chosen and let go of the rest simply because Toni <em> loves </em> her, no she knows that’s never going to happen. </p><p>But is she reckless for hoping that her Grandparents won’t condemn her heart's desire? Is she unrealistic to hope they’d realise not all Blossom’s are the same, that there was a rose amongst the thorns? Is she stupid for thinking that perhaps there’s a world in which her love and feelings would override the actions of the past?</p><p>She worries that yes, indeed she is.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And oh how those gems weigh it down, Toni. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And oh how the rose thorns scratch. </em>
</p><p>Yes okay, Cheryl’s a Blossom. Yes, she’s been born into a family whose ancestors were directly responsible for the end of so many of Toni’s own. Yes, she’s been born into a world where cruelty and corruption was the norm, where maintaining power and a facade were deemed integral, where control and gain were the most important qualities of all.</p><p>Yes Cheryl had been carved into that of her circumstance, cold and emotionless, harrowed and hollow, but in spite of it all she’d not allowed it to defile her heart. No, her heart had somehow remained warm and brimming with emotion, overflowing with care and a desperation for love. A heart that, albeit heavily fortified, had been given to Toni to hold and peel back the layers of, and once she had, it seemed she held in her grasp a heart that had good intentions and an overwhelming amount of love to give. </p><p>So yes, Cheryl’s a Blossom, but god she’s <em> so much more. </em></p><p>Because in truth, <em> what’s in a name? </em> </p><p>
  <em> That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>A red rose rising amongst the thorns, to serve as a stark reminder that love blossoms no matter how barren the soil from which it grows.</p><p>And this Blossom, this rose, well Toni’s certain it could smell no sweeter.</p><p>What’s in a name? History, prejudice, repercussions of ancestors, a past unable to be forgotten, claws of family desperate to ensure said name is maintained in the very evil nature it’d been created.</p><p>But what’s in a <em> person? </em> A soul, a warm beating heart, laughter and joy, the craving to be loved and to <em> give </em> love and a desperation to be nothing more than happy.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And don’t you wish you could just take it off?  </em>
</p><p>Toni, lost in her thoughts, doesn’t hear the door click shut or the unmistakable sound of heels against the wooden floor. The soft voice asking after her morning goes unheard as instead she worries her lip between her teeth, her frown deepening.</p><p>Only when a weight settles next to her and a chin rests on her shoulder is she tugged from her worries. “Parfait TT don’t you think?” Cheryl’s freshly manicured nails come into focus, obstructing Toni’s view of the page she’d been reading. Well, not that she's quite sure staring at the same sentence for forty minutes constitutes reading. </p><p>God this is all just so <em> stressful. </em></p><p>Pink locks bounce as she shakes her head, willing her thoughts to shake themselves from her mind with the motion. Turning to look at her girl, who had now removed her chin from its perch, Toni hopes to find some form of respite amongst her brown orbs, however instead finds only worry. </p><p>Worry she knows is directed at her and her distractedness.</p><p>“Sorry Cher, I was just,” she sighs before frowning and pressing plump lips together, turning to stare at the floor and making no attempt to complete the sentence left hanging in the air. </p><p>Cheryl’s own brow furrows as she takes in the sight before her and the obvious tension and discomfort rolling off her girlfriend in waves, “pray tell TT, what’s wrong?”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And this crown of roses and gemstones, well, it’s a hefty one to balance, isn’t it Toni? </em>
</p><p>The redhead trails her eyes over the side of Toni’s face, worriedly making note of how she’s absentmindedly, yet harshly, chewing her lip. In an instant she’s lifting her hand to run the pad of her thumb against the side of Toni’s mouth, bringing awareness to the way her teeth are clamped against her lip in a silent plea for her to release it from its hold.</p><p>The smaller girl complies and shakes her head, breathing a heavy sigh with obvious uneasiness coursing through her. When the taller girl repeats her caress, Toni allows herself to be dragged back to reality as the sound of Cheryl’s soft voice reaches her, “my love?”</p><p>Trying to clear her thoughts, Toni blinks her eyes and turns to look up at the redhead, “sorry Cher, I just, all this stuff with my Grandparents, it’s getting to me. I called my Nana and I’m gonna go see her tomorrow after school and tell her everything, but now I, I just-” she trails off again, looking away once more and hopes that if she doesn’t say the words aloud they won’t come into fruition. </p><p>Cheryl doesn’t follow the same train of thought however, “you’re worried about what she’s going to say, that it’s going to go badly.”</p><p>Toni closes her eyes and nods, her voice barely above a whisper, “I’m scared Cher. I’m scared I’m gonna end up losing everything, losing her, losing you.”</p><p>The taller girl murmurs a sympathetic, “oh TT,” before she’s pulling the smaller girl towards her, wrapping an arm around her legs to bring them up to rest across her own lap, the tattered book clattering to the floor as she does. </p><p>Pale fingers dance over soft skin tenderly, the smaller girl relishing in the contact and imploring her mind to focus on the sensation in order to help ground herself into the moment. </p><p>“Toni, darling, I know you’re under a monumental amount of pressure and you’re trying to balance so many things at once, and I wish I could allow this situation to be envisioned through rose tinted glasses, but you nor I are naive enough to ever fall into those beliefs.”</p><p>Toni sighs, if only it were that simple. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head Toni. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And yours is an intricately woven crown, isn’t it? </em>
</p><p>As Cheryl continues, the pink haired girl shifts her weight sideways, allowing her body to rest fully against her girlfriend’s chest. “I want this to be easy for you sweetheart, but you and I both know this is a situation of hardship and difficulty, and it’s going to be tough and I wish more than anything there was a way to wave a magic wand and have everything just so, and it hurts my heart that I can’t do that for you, that I can’t fix this.”</p><p>Toni squeezes her eyes closed, turning her face into Cheryl’s chest as the first tear falls. </p><p>“But TT, my love,” a pale hand soothes through pink locks, “whilst I don’t know how this will go, I do know there are no bounds to your strength. You are nothing if not the definition of resilient and if anyone can do this, and do it the <em> right way, </em> it’s you.”</p><p>Cheryl waits to feel Toni nod against her chest, but when that doesn’t come she leans back pulling Toni from her shoulder slightly and places a finger under a tear streaked chin, raising it slightly until brown eyes meet her own. </p><p>“Baby, you are so unbelievably tough, you’re a fighter, and if anyone is going to manage this it’s you. But that’s not to say that you’re expected to be strong all the time and hide everything, <em> goodness no </em> ma cheriè, and in those moments I’ll always be here to wipe your tears away.” Cheryl soothes her thumbs over Toni’s cheeks as she speaks, clearing away the rivers of sorrow and electing a soft smile from the smaller girl as she understands the deliberate act. </p><p>She’s strong, she’s always had to be she supposes, but now Cheryl is here. Now she doesn’t always have to be, now there is someone to wipe her tears and hold her close. And it doesn’t make her weaker, it doesn’t take away from her resilience, if anything it makes her stronger, for after she’s grown tired of being tough, she can fall into her love’s arms to calm and recharge, ready to face the fray anew. </p><p>When Toni speaks her voice is shaky and hushed, “I just, I’m scared they’re gonna say something. I know my Nana especially won’t be happy, I’m not naive, but I’m worried she’s going to give me some ultimatum and she’ll try and stop me from being with you or I’ll lose them. That, or she’ll use my Serpent legacy against me. You know I’ve just started making moves to become Queen and it’s just, I’m worried she’ll stop me from doing so.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And just how many are you wearing Toni? </em>
</p><p>The relationship between her and her Grandparents is still in its early stages of reconnection, and if she’s honest Toni‘s still hesitant about this newly forming bond, considering they hadn’t cared enough to even acknowledge her Uncle’s treatment of her, or that fact she’d moved in with Cheryl in the first place. She has no idea quite <em> where </em> they think she lives, and that in itself speaks volumes. </p><p>But then again, they are family, they are blood, and they are <em> trying. </em> Surely that has to count for something, right? </p><p>But then when it comes down to it, if she were made to choose between them and Cheryl, between her legacy and her love, she’s not entirely certain what she’s supposed to do. </p><p>However, in spite of all the uncertainty, the unease, there is one thing of which she’s sure, she’s not going down without a fight. </p><p>Yes Cheryl may be her underbelly, but she’s still a damn Serpent, and she still has venom should she need it. </p><p>As Toni’s mind begins to wander once again, Cheryl nods sympathetically. She’s well versed in the hold a family can have over you and their power over your actions, and it pains her so to see Toni in this precarious situation. </p><p>The redhead cups the back of Toni’s head and guides her to rest it once again upon her shoulder, running her hand through the pink locks. Her other hand begins delicately caressing the smaller girl's thigh, soothing over the soft skin. “My beloved, I know you’re scared of losing them, and I know you’re apprehensive about what your Nana may face you with tomorrow, but I can promise you this for certain, you will <em> never </em> lose me. I understand this is a difficult situation and it pains my heart that it’s my family name that’s caused this and yet there’s nothing I can do, but I’m right here Toni, right by your side and I will be through it all, okay?”</p><p>Toni sighs weightedly, but ultimately nods, “I just wish it was easier than this, I wish it didn’t matter where you came from, only who you are. It’s not fair Cher, it’s so backwards and I hate that this is my reality right now.”</p><p>Cheryl’s tone is hushed, as if trying to soothe the one in Toni’s own mind. “I know TT, and as I said before, whilst it pains me to know the way your Grandparents feel is not for actions of my own, I understand why they harbour the resentment they do. But I promise you, no matter what happens tomorrow, I’ll be here waiting for you with open arms and we’ll go from there okay?”</p><p>Toni doesn’t reply for a moment, too busy trying to fight off the doubts creeping into her mind, but eventually she nods and leans up to press a kiss to the underside of Cheryl’s jaw. “Okay Cher, thank you.”</p><p>The taller girl presses a kiss to Toni’s forehead before lowering her face, her eyes seeking her girlfriend’s own, desperate for Toni to hear what she’s about to say, to acknowledge the honesty of it. </p><p>When Toni’s eyes meet her own, she waits for a moment before speaking in the sincerest tone she can muster, “nonsense ma cheriè, you need give no thanks. You matter to me Toni. Your feelings, the things you’re going through, they’re so important to me and I want to do what I can to make things better, I want to try and help you deal with this. So please my love, tell me what I can do to help and it’s done, but never feel the need to oblige me with gratitude, for your happiness is all I desire to obtain.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But maybe there’s stability to be found in her arms.  </em>
</p><p>They stay there for a while and eventually the comfort brought by Cheryl’s hold and the soothing thrum of her heart lulls Toni into a slumber. Realising the smaller girl has fallen asleep against her, Cheryl smiles before kicking off her heels and shifting them both so they’re laid along the sofa, Toni tucked protectively into her chest. </p><p>The redhead takes the moment to trail her eyes over Toni’s face. She looks so peaceful, all traces of unease dreamt away as she finally manages to find some calm amongst the chaos. Cheryl, unable to refrain from the temptation of doing so, runs her finger lightly over her cheek and feels her love for the girl in her arms grow as a soft sigh of content ghosts over her skin. </p><p>It's in moments like this that Cheryl finds herself wishing time would cease and allow them this serenity to keep for themselves. For the universe to see their contentment, their happiness, and allow them to bask in it with no fear of what may be hurled their way the second the moment passes. </p><p>She drinks in every tiny detail of Toni’s face, details of which are by now long committed to memory but she admires as if they're a new discovery each time. The freckle above her lip, the way her eyelids twitch just slightly, perfectly sculpted brows, her plump lips that are <em> oh so kissable, </em> her baby soft skin, a jawline carved by the gods themselves. </p><p>God Toni is a sight for sore eyes. </p><p>And how lucky is she to be able to feast her own upon her. </p><p>And gosh how lucky is she to be the one chosen to love her. </p><p>Toni makes her feel worth the very breath that fills her lungs. She makes Cheryl feel in control of the demons residing in her head, that she has value and importance for no other reason than she’s her. She makes her feel like a rose amongst the thorns, capable of beauty in even the ugliest of places. Toni makes her feel that maybe, after everything, she does deserve happiness after all. </p><p>And gosh how lucky is she to hold not only this woman in her arms, but her heart too.</p><p>Because to Toni, it doesn’t matter the actions of the past, because they weren’t orchestrated of her own pale hand. It doesn’t matter her name because quite frankly Cheryl is haunted by it too. It doesn’t matter her demons, just that she’s willing to fight them. </p><p>No, to Toni it only matters how she <em> is. </em> It matters how she makes Toni feel, how she listens and cares, how Cheryl cherishes her heart, and how she willingly places her own in Toni's hands, open and honest.</p><p>To Toni, it only matters who Cheryl is, not what she’s said to be. </p><p>To Toni, it only matters how Cheryl makes her feel. </p><p>To Toni, she’s Cheryl, <em> just Cheryl, </em> nothing more nothing less. </p><p>And to Cheryl, well, Toni is <em>everything.</em> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Taa daa hope you enjoyed!</p><p>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. What's in a name?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cheryl talks to a friend and Toni talks with her Nana.</p><p>Things go, well....</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiii :D</p><p>Part 2 is up woo!</p><p>Just a heads up for a couple of brief mentions of abuse, but like its barely anything.</p><p>As always you know I love to know your thoughts etc!</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p><p>Luce :D</p><p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Both girls are aware of their growing anxiety at school the next day, unable to concentrate in classes and appearing altogether distracted with their friends, their thoughts focused on the knowledge that today is the day. Today is the day that the elder Topaz’s learned of how the newest Serpent, the newest <em> Blossom </em> Serpent that they’d both scorned the addition of, was also the keeper of their Granddaughter’s heart.</p><p>Today was not so much a step along the tightrope, so much as a leap of faith towards a much prayed for end.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>As the bell brings about the end of the day, both girls make their way from their respective classes to meet at Toni’s locker before heading towards the parking lot.</p><p>Their conversation is idle, both wanting to ignore the impending situation as long as possible before they had to go their separate ways. Only when they reach Toni’s bike and Cheryl’s Impala, parked side by side of course, do they acknowledge what’s about to happen.</p><p>Toni sighs heavily, hoping that maybe her breath would expel her nerves along with it, and Cheryl releases her hand from around the smaller girls own in order to pull her into a hug. “Toni darling, I know you’re worried about what may happen, and in all honestly so am I, but don’t forget what I told you, no matter what I’ll be at home waiting for you and I love you TT, nothing and no one will ever take that away from us, okay?”</p><p>Toni nods against the redhead’s shoulder, trying to get her mind to hear her love’s words and allow them to calm her at least a little.</p><p>
  <em> Unseasy sounds about right, doesn’t it Toni? </em>
</p><p>“Thanks Cher, I’m just gonna hope for the best but see what happens I guess. And I love you too.” Toni savours the feeling of being held against her girl for a moment before she places a kiss to her cheek and pulls away with a heavy exhale. “I guess I should go, I’ll uhh, I’ll see you later.”</p><p>The redhead sends her the most supportive smile she can muster, and watches as Toni takes a seat on her bike and starts the engine, “drive safely ma cheriè, and never forget I’m but a text or phone call away.”</p><p>Cheryl receives a quiet, “I won’t,” in response before they’re exchanging " love you’s" a final time and Toni’s putting on her helmet before speeding off towards the parking lot exit.</p><p>The redhead sighs heavily, if she’s honest she’s not entirely sure what to do with herself for the foreseeable future. She knows Toni’s likely to be at her Nanas for a while and in truth, Cheryl doesn’t want to be sat alone fretting in the meantime. </p><p>She glances around as she tries to formulate some sort of plan to keep herself busy, but is soon disturbed by a friendly voice. “Cheryl is everything okay? You look a little lost.”</p><p>Veronica Lodge, who else?</p><p>In truth, their friendship has always been a somewhat rocky one, and Cheryl’s never entirely sure quite <em> where </em> she stands with the young heiress, but as of late things have seemed to be on the up, and right now, well, she could do with a friend.</p><p>Plus Veronica tended to give good advice, and that would be appreciated, all things considered. </p><p>Cheryl contemplates dealing with this by herself for a moment, before ultimately deciding that perhaps it would be a good idea to let Veronica in. Besides, isn’t that what they said was part of a healthy friendship? Allowing someone in even when it’s hard to?</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Veronica would understand more than anyone. </em>
</p><p>The redhead sighs gently, “I can’t exactly explain everything, because quite honestly Veronica I’m not entirely sure of it all myself, however I really need a friend right now.”</p><p>The brunette’s frown is almost instantaneous, “of course, hey, whatever you need, I’m here,” she reaches out to place a supportive hand on Cheryl’s arm, “it’s nothing bad between the two of you I hope?”</p><p>Cheryl’s eyes widen, “oh goodness no Ronnie. Well, in a sense it is I suppose, but it’s to do with ma cheriè’s family and their view as to me being <em> unsuitable </em> for Toni on account of my surname.”</p><p>Veronica nods with a seeming understanding before glancing at Cheryl’s car. “Well, I was about to call my driver, but how about you and I head to Pop’s instead? The milkshakes are on me?”</p><p>Cheryl smilles, actually that sounds good and besides, she does have a particular love for a Pop’s milkshake. Plus it would give her a chance to talk about everything with Veronica, whilst ensuring she isn’t mindlessly sitting at home anxiously waiting Toni’s return. “Sounds perfect Veronica, thank you. Although I do need to ensure I’m back before Toni gets home so I probably shouldn’t be too long, just in case.”</p><p>Veronica drops her hand from Cheryl’s arm and smiles once more, “excellent, shall we go?” The redhead nods, both girls get into Cheryl’s Impala and make their way towards the exit Toni had passed through only moments prior.</p><p>The drive to Pop’s is filled with soft music from a CD Toni had made for her one weekend, gifting it to her with no other reasoning than <em> ‘these songs remind me of us and you Cher.’ </em> </p><p>Oh, how she <em> adores </em> that girl.</p><p>Veronica converses with her on simple topics such as the Vixens’ new routine music and <em> “did you hear the rumour about Jordan on the baseball team?” </em> of which Cheryl hadn’t, and nor did she particularly care, but she was grateful for the young heiress's distractions nevertheless.</p><p>Once they make it to Pop’s, Cheryl automatically heads to her and Toni’s usual booth whilst Veronica makes their milkshakes herself as promised. It’s not long before a strawberry shake is placed gently in front of her and her friend is sliding into the seat opposite, taking a sip from her own before diving straight into their reasoning for being there.</p><p>“So, you said this has to do with Toni’s family? Not to sound crude, but I didn’t really realise she <em> had </em> much of one, if any.” Veronica’s tone is questioning but light, as if she’s simply curious rather than being judgemental.</p><p>“It’s a, well to put it plainly, recent rekindling.” Cheryl doesn’t want to disclose too much regarding Toni’s personal life, especially considering she wasn’t entirely sure of everything herself. “From what TT has told me, both recently and in the past, her Grandparents found out about everything with her Uncle and decided to make themselves a feature in her life again. They’ve always been somewhat around I assume, you remember everything around Pickens Day?”</p><p>Veronica nods, she does indeed. Although, considering all she was dealing with back then, it’s a time in her past she’d much rather forget.</p><p>Cheryl continues, but the more she says, the deeper her brow furrows, “so as I mentioned they’ve recently decided to make themselves a more known presence in my beloved’s life, which don't mistake me I’m overjoyed about for Toni’s sake, however the situation has now become a rather complicated one.”</p><p>Veronica’s brow mirrors the redhead’s own, “and by complicated you mean because of your family's pasts, the Uktena and ‘ole Colonel Blossom right?” </p><p>Well then, Cheryl supposes her friend is nothing if not perceptive.</p><p>“Exactly that Veronica, and now TT is faced with the hardship of having to reveal our relationship to her Grandparents, who harbour resentment for my family. As is understandable, warranted, the Topaz’s are after all direct lineage of the Uktena, however it means-”</p><p>Veronica cuts her off, “they aren’t going to be happy their Grandchild’s in a relationship with a Blossom.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And how yours is tarnished. </em>
</p><p>A heavy sigh leaves Cheryl’s lips, “exactly.” She takes a sip of her milkshake whilst trying to collect her thoughts, hoping the cool liquid soothing down her throat would also soothe her anxious mind.</p><p>“Cheryl that’s...” Veronica trails off, in truth the young Lodge isn’t entirely sure quite what to comment.</p><p>It would seem the redhead understands her sentiment though, as she nods glumly and offers a solemn, “quite.”</p><p>For a moment neither speak, both lost in contemplation, but once her glass is just under half empty Veronica offers her friend the best advice she can muster. “I know this is an unbelievably tough situation for you both, and I wish there was a clear answer. I also know you’re worried about Toni herself equally as you are what her Grandparents may say regarding you and your relationship. But Cheryl, you’ve both been through so much, you’ve conquered more than your fair share of demons and come out stronger every time. You are two of the most resilient people I’ve ever known individually, but together, <em> god </em> you two can get through <em> anything.” </em></p><p>As much as Cheryl wishes she could believe her friend, the doubts swirling in her mind don’t even waver. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But what was it your mother said? </em>
</p><p>“I desperately want to believe that V, but if I’m honest,” she sighs dejectedly, “I’m scared I’m going to lose her.”</p><p>Veronica moves to interrupt but she continues. “Not because I believe even for a second that TT would simply walk away, <em> goodness no, </em> but I worry her Grandparents, her Nana, will present her with some devastating ultimatum, one that gives Toni no choice. And I know my love has trepidations of the same sentiment, she’s worried her Nana would pull an ‘us or her’ or bring her Serpent legacy into the fray.” </p><p>The redhead can feel tears brimming in her eyes but is simply too tired to even try and push them away.</p><p>
  <em> You’ve never known love Cheryl, except to rip it apart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And look what you’re doing to Toni. </em>
</p><p>Veronica reaches out to clasp the redhead’s hand, “Cheryl, I need you to listen to me, because I think that amongst everything you’re dealing with right now, you’ve forgotten the most important thing.” Teary eyes meet brown orbs filled with conviction. “Cheryl, if I know one thing about anything in this god forsaken world, it’s that Toni <em> loves </em> you. She loves you in a way that’s so strong, so powerful that I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it. And you love her do you not?”</p><p>Cheryl responds with an assured yet questioning, “of course,” without hesitation, because is Veronica okay? Of course she loves Toni, <em> let there be no doubt. </em> </p><p>The brunette smiles, “exactly Cheryl, Toni loves you and you love her. And that’s all there is to it. And besides, after all you two have endured, I don’t think it’s <em> possible </em> for there to be a world in which that girl <em> doesn’t </em> choose you.”</p><p>Cheryl’s eyes widen at Veronica’s words, at the sheer sincerity and certainty with which she speaks. “I don’t know much about Toni on a deeply personal level, granted, but she seems to be the kind of person that, should someone place in front of her an ultimatum based on their own wants and ignore her side and opinion, <em> they’ll </em> be the one to lose her. Toni’s a fighter Cheryl, and she’s not going to let anyone force you or your relationship away from her without a fight. No matter who they are.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And Toni won’t let anything hold back her love. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s tears are flowing freely now, droplets falling onto the table below creating tiny puddles of sorrow. How she wants to believe Veronica’s words, how she wants to accept that she’d be the one Toni chooses, should her hand be forced to pick. But the niggling knowledge that the Blossom curse is one that cares not for any goodness trying to grow amongst the thorns, plus years of self-doubt and cruel abuse from her mother, leaves her unable to allow herself the belief that Veronica’s words ring true.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And yours is made of thorns Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>Sensing her friend’s uneasiness, Veronica tries a different tactic. “Cheryl, let me put it like this, hypothetically were this situation reversed, were it you who was having to explain to your family that your love for Toni mattered not of names or assumptions of character, cared not for circumstance or upbringing, and they made you choose, who would you pick?”</p><p>Cheryl frowns, “Veronica there’s no hypothetical about it, that’s exactly what they did, what my <em> Mother </em> did. Yes admittedly a lot of it was to do with the fact I’m a lesbian, but one can’t ignore hers, or other family members for that matter, snide comments and prejudice towards my beloved regarding the name on her back or place of upbringing.”</p><p>Veronica smiles, <em> “exactly, </em> and who did you choose? Who did your heart tell you to pick?”</p><p>Cheryl frowns in confusion, not entirely sure what the girl opposite her was getting at. Veronica knew all this, she’d been there. She’d chosen her love, and her own happiness. She’d chosen Toni. </p><p>She would <em> always </em> choose Toni. </p><p>
  <em> Let there be no doubt. </em>
</p><p>Still, she decides to humour her friend anyway, “Toni of course. Not only did I become starkly aware that my Mother was wrong about my affinity for women, but I knew she was wrong about ma cheriè. I chose Toni, as I always will. You know that Veronica.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p><em> And Toni’s taught you the meaning of love, hasn’t she? </em> </p><p>The brunette smiles and releases her grip on Cheryl’s hand to sit back and smile at her knowingly. “Exactly Cheryl, <em> you chose Toni. </em> So why is it so hard for you to comprehend Toni choosing you? She knows the truth about you, she knows you’re not your ancestors, she knows their actions were theirs and theirs alone, she knows the notion of the Blossom name is not one that applies to you.”</p><p>Cheryl has no response, she just stares blankly at the girl in front of her, trying to allow her words to sink in. However Veronica takes this to mean her friend still wasn’t quite following. “Toni knows <em> you. </em> She knows who you are, and she <em> loves who you are, </em> and Miss <span>Antoinette</span> strikes me as the sort of person that won’t allow anyone to try and undermine what she knows to be true with what they presume through assumptions. Toni loves you Cheryl, and you her, and anything that tries to get in the way of that, well, I wouldn’t like to be on the receiving end of either of yours strength.”</p><p>Finishing the last of her milkshake, she regards the girl opposite her hopefully, “I pray that your belief in us reigns true Veronica, I truly do. I just, I can’t shake the feeling that the Blossom curse knows no limits, that it doesn’t care for whom it haunts. And perhaps it’s pessimistic of me, perhaps me clinging on to fears of what could happen is causing me to disregard the other side of things, but I don’t know. I don’t exactly have the best track record of keeping those around me.”</p><p>
  <em> That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Except you’re not entirely sure it’s just about a name, are you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Veronica sighs, finishing the remnants of her own milkshake and reaching out once again to rest her hand atop the redhead’s, giving it a supportive squeeze. “Cheryl, Toni loves you, that girl <em> adores </em> the very oxygen you breathe. After all you’ve been through, after all you’ve endured both together and in order to <em> be together, </em> I have no doubt that she’s not going to let this take her away from you.”</p><p>Veronica’s eyes bear into Cheryl’s own with the sincerest look she knows how and her voice filled with nothing but honesty, “I have no qualms that Toni will choose you, that she will <em> always choose you, </em> as you her. And that’s all there is to it. <em> Let there be no doubt, Cheryl.” </em></p><p>The redhead gasps, finally allowing Veronica’s words to break past her demons and hit home. </p><p>Toni loves her, and she loves Toni, and everything else, well, they’d endure it.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And Toni made you see you have love to give Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And you give it all to her. </em>
</p><p>Veronica has no clue of the half of it when it came to all her and Toni have been through together, not only the same horrors that had run rampant for everyone in their hell hole of a town, but their own personal Stephen King esque ventures too. </p><p>And yes okay Cheryl can’t deny that the majority of them, if not <em> all, </em> were terrors orchestrated because of her, whether directly or indirectly. Uncle Bedford’s demise, Jason’s residence in the chapel, how they’d been haunted by that hellish doll thanks to her Mother - and <em> no </em> she hasn’t forgotten the heinous way she used said doll against Toni in the first place. </p><p>Veronica’s right. </p><p>After all they’ve been through, <em> after all Toni’s been through because of her, </em> this can’t be the reason for their relationship’s demise. After everything, after all Toni has stuck by her with, disapproving Grandparents can’t be the force that drives her away. </p><p>Surely not?</p><p>No, they are stronger than this, both individually and together. They’ve gotten through so much, what’s one more bump in the road? And yes this road in particular is one that requires careful navigation, and yes that sort of thing has always been more Toni’s thing, Cheryl herself having far too big a flair for the more dramatic side of things, but they balance each other out. </p><p>Toni knows how to handle this, and Cheryl knows how to support Toni.</p><p>They can get through this, they <em> will </em> get through this. And yes it may be hard, and yes this shouldn’t be happening, but in the end it doesn’t matter, Toni’s a fighter, and so is Cheryl, and after everything they’ve been through, they’re not about to give up on the battle now.</p><p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Cheryl loves Toni, and no one can take that away from her. </em>
</p><p>A notification illuminates Cheryl’s phone screen, nothing important just some instagram notification, however it does bring her attention to the time and how nearly an hour has passed since school finished. As she looks at her friend sitting across from her, Cheryl takes note of the smile on her face and the look of understanding in her eye. </p><p>The redhead turns the hand underneath Veronica’s over and clasps her fingers around it, “thank you Veronica, truly. Your words, they mean a lot, you’re a good friend and I’m appreciative of your help.”</p><p>Veronica’s smile widens, and she thinks that actually, being Cheryl’s friend isn’t half as difficult as she once thought it to be, and perhaps she should make more of an effort with her. Cheryl’s a good person, she just needs to be reminded of it sometimes, but then again didn’t she? </p><p>Didn't they all?</p><p>“Of course Cheryl, anytime you know that. I’m here for you, and Toni too for that matter, anything for my favourite power couple.” The redhead laughs and shakes her head in amusement, trust Veronica to be able to turn even the heaviest of moments light again. </p><p>Remembering the time, Cheryl sighs, “I should probably go so I can make sure I’m home before ma cheriè arrives, I don’t want her to get there and need me and I not be there, besides I promised her I would be so...”</p><p>She trails off but Veronica of course understands, “of course Cheryl, and please don’t forget I’m here should either of you need anything.”</p><p>The redhead smiles at her friend, “thank you V, truly. Do you require a ride home? Oh and how much do I owe you for the mil-”</p><p>“You don’t owe me anything,” Veronica hopes Cheryl understands the double meaning, both of them having been raised to believe nothing was given without expectations in return, “I told you they were on me, oh and don’t worry about a lift, I think I’m going to stay here for a bit and catch up on some paperwork, but thank you.”</p><p>They bid their goodbyes, Veronica once again imploring Cheryl to remember she’s but a text away, and the redhead makes her way to her car to head home and pray that Toni’s Nana had been as accommodating as their friend.</p><p>-------------------</p><p>Across town, Toni’s unease is practically seeping from her as she knocks on the door to her Grandparent’s trailer. Being in an area of an offshoot of the trailer park it had been left standing after the riots and for that Toni couldn’t be more grateful. She dreaded to think what would have happened to her Grandparents had their home suffered the same fate as so many. </p><p>As she hears shuffling on the other side of the door and the unmistakable sound of a lock turning, her apprehension grows, depending on how things go, this could very well be the last time she ever stood here. This could be the last time her Grandparents were proud to call her one of their own.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And how are you feeling now Toni? </em>
</p><p>“<span>Antoinette</span>, it’s good to see you, come in.” Her Nana’s voice breaks her from her thoughts and she returns the greeting before following her inside. </p><p>They make their way into the living room, and Toni feels her apprehension grow. She’s put so much thought into this, created endless scenarios in her head, endless plays of how this conversation could go, and yet being here, knowing her thoughts were about to become reality, all of it seems futile.</p><p>There's no point preparing for a conversation when you have no idea what the other person might say.</p><p>As she takes a seat on the sofa her Nana explains Thomas’s absence - a fishing trip with their neighbour - and offers her a drink, of which she declines. Her stomach is in too many knots right now to even consider putting anything into it.</p><p>Toni sighs as she watches her Nana sit in the armchair opposite, there is no backing out of this now, it’s all or nothing. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But how you’d feel bare without it. </em>
</p><p>And it’s not that she doesn’t <em> want </em> her Grandparents to know of her relationship with Cheryl, in truth keeping this hidden has been a heavy burden and Toni’s relieved she won’t have to lie anymore. Well, not that she’s been actively lying, more like omitting parts of the truth. But no, Toni <em> wants </em> them to know of her and Cheryl’s love wholeheartedly, she just wishes that the outcome she desires would be a given and not a hope.</p><p>And she knows it’s going to take time regardless, she’s not naive enough to think everything is going to be happy families instantaneously, but she just hopes her Nana will at least <em> try </em> to consider her side, at least not condemn her relationship the second the truth leaves Toni’s lips.</p><p>“I was surprised when you called I must admit,” Toni’s pulled from her worries by her Nana’s voice, “is everything okay <span>Antoinette</span>?”</p><p>Well, <em> here goes. </em></p><p>“I need to talk to you about something Nana, and I’m really hoping that you’ll keep an open mind.”</p><p>The frown forming on her Nana’s brow is worrying to say the least, “sounds ominous, please go on.”</p><p>Toni glances down to her fidgeting fingers, knowing that there was no going back after this. “Nana, you remember me telling you that I’m bi? Well, I didn’t tell you everything. The full truth is that I’m also in a relationship, with a girl.”</p><p>To her credit, her Nana doesn't blink an eye. Although not that Toni thought she would, she’s grateful that neither of her Grandparents had any issues with her sexuality and she knows the problem won’t be her dating a female, no, their grievance will lie only with said female’s name.</p><p>The woman before her says as much, “well <span>Antoinette</span> I’m happy for you, however seeing as we both know I would never have any problems with that, and therefore need to keep an open mind, something’s telling me that there’s more to the story.” </p><p>Toni can feel her heart begin to thump in her chest as she picks at the material of her jeans and tries to calm her unease, but to no avail. She heaves a sigh and resigns herself to her fate, sending a prayer to any and every deity that might possibly be listening that her Nana will at least hear her out. </p><p>“The girl I’m dating, her name is Cheryl. Cheryl Blossom.” </p><p>As she speaks, Toni’s pretty sure that she’s witnessing all the colour drain from her Nana’s face, to be replaced by disbelief and anger. </p><p>The silence that takes over the room is thick with tension, it’s suffocating and the weight on Toni’s shoulders is heavier than ever, pressing down on her unrelentingly.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>"No.”</p><p>And with that one word, Toni’s heart plummets.</p><p>
  <em> How’s that crown resting now Toni? </em>
</p><p>Instantly she’s scrambling to form a defence for the girl she loves, a counter for the look of sheer disgust written across her Nana’s face. Her voice pleading, begging the woman across from her to at least hear her out, “it’s not what you think Cheryl isn’t what you think-”</p><p>“I said <em> no </em> Antionette.” The older woman's voice is harsh and definitive, leaving no room for arguments, but that doesn’t mean that Toni doesn’t give one anyway.</p><p>She tries to ignore the way her heart is thumping in her chest, the way her hands are shaking as she wrings them together. Toni tries to silence the demons in her mind sneering at her that this is exactly what she knew would happen, and instead takes her place opposite her Nana on the battlefield. </p><p>She loves her Nana, but there was no way she was letting this happen without a fight. “Look Nana I love you, you know I do, and I’m so thankful to have you and Grandad back in my life again, but I also love Cheryl, I’m <em> in </em> love with Cheryl, and she’s in love with me. And yes okay her surname might be Blossom, but in truth, what does it matter?”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>The anger seeping from her Nana’s voice is raw and there is no attempt to conceal it in the slightest. “It matters <span>Antoinette</span>, because I will not just ignore everything that happened between our families. I will not sit here and accept my Granddaughter dating one of <em> them. </em> That family over the decades has taken everything from us, and from our people. You can’t ignore the past.”</p><p>
  <em> It would seem not everyone is willing to see the rose amongst the thorns. </em>
</p><p>Toni sighs, picking at the material of her jeans, and tries her hardest to keep herself calm, if she allows herself to get defensive or rise to her Nana’s anger she knows this will be over without her even having a chance. “You’re right, I can’t, and I’m not, I won’t ever. What the Blossom ancestors did to ours was wrong, and how the history books and this town talks about it is wrong, I’m not ignoring that Nana. But we aren’t the Montagues and Capulets, this isn’t some family feud fated to be carried down through the generations.”</p><p>The older woman practically sneers, “we both know how that story ended, <span>Antoinette</span>.”</p><p>Toni rolls her eyes, “yes, we do, but this isn’t some doomed three day infatuation, this is real life. This is your grandchild sitting in front of someone she cares very deeply about, telling you she’s in love with someone and-”</p><p>“But she’s not just someone Toni, she’s <em> a Blossom. </em> You know what that family did to us, you know how they treated your ancestors, how they <em> murdered </em> them.” </p><p>Toni knew this would be difficult, she knew her Nana would be unable to see anything other than the past, and whilst she understands why, Toni can’t help but wish she would at least give Cheryl a <em> chance. </em></p><p>As hard as she tries to keep her voice even, she was raised to be respectful to her elders after all, Toni can’t help her rise in volume, desperately trying to get the woman before her to at least consider that not all Blossoms are the same. “Yes Nana I do, and what happened between our families, between the Uktena and the Blossoms was wrong. What Cheryl’s ancestors did to ours was wrong, but they’re her ancestors, they’re not <em> her. </em> That’s ancient history and I promise you Cheryl is nothing like her family.”</p><p>Her Nana sits forward and Toni can see the anger written clearly across her face. “If that’s true then why have you kept her hidden like some dirty secret, it’s because you know it’s wrong-”</p><p>“No it’s because I knew this would be your irrational reaction.” Toni knows she should be careful with her words but in truth her patience is wearing thin. Her Nana isn’t even <em> trying </em> to hear her out, she isn’t listening to a single word she’s saying, and it’s getting to her.</p><p>“She’s a Blossom, <span>Antoinette</span>.” </p><p>
  <em>That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And isn’t Cheryl the sweetest of them all? </em>
</p><p>“Not to me she’s not. To me she’s Cheryl. She’s just Cheryl, and I love her and she loves me, and that’s all there is to it.” Toni sighs heavily, hadn’t she already been through this? She understands that her Nana, and likely her Grandad too, will need time to come to terms with this, but this, her words falling on ears unwilling to listen, she’s beginning to think time isn’t going to fix this.</p><p>Her Nana leans further forward, her eyes bearing into Toni’s own, filled with anger and something Toni thinks might be akin to betrayal. “It was bad enough when FP let her into the Serpents, but this, no. That family was created from evil itself, that name is a curse and I will not have you anywhere near it. <span>Antoinette</span>, I will not allow you to date a Blossom.”</p><p>Toni laughs, hollow and disbelieving. She was more than aware that this might happen, but it was in her ‘worst case scenario’ thoughts, and so for her Nana to actually say she wouldn’t <em> allow </em> her to date Cheryl? No, there’s no way she’s going to stand for this.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>Toni’s eyes widen, “You don’t mean that Nana, tell me you don’t-”</p><p>The older Topaz’s voice is hard and cold, unforgiving, “she’s a thorn <span>Antoinette,</span> and I will not allow this. No Granddaughter of mine is permitted to date a Blossom. I have no care for <em> how </em> you say she is, she’s a Blossom and my answer is no.”</p><p>
  <em> But what about limits of blood Toni, what about them? </em>
</p><p>Maybe it’s the adrenaline coursing through her, maybe it’s the fact she’s just so <em> exhausted </em> from having to constantly have something to fight against with regards to her and Cheryl’s relationship, but Toni finds herself shifting in her seat, squaring her shoulders and readying herself to make her stand. She’s been through way too much to get here, she’ll be damned if she doesn’t fight with every shred she dares. </p><p>“Well it’s a good thing I wasn’t asking Nana. I didn’t come here for your permission.”</p><p>And so it seems the battle lines truly are drawn. </p><p>Toni had hoped that it wouldn’t come down to this, she’d envisioned this being a difficult conversation and yes she’d allowed her mind to acknowledge this outcome was a possibility, but that was a worst case scenario, she’d hoped things would be different.</p><p>Perhaps not.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head, after all. </em>
</p><p>Toni wrings her hands together, her voice dripping with emotion, “I came here to tell you this out of respect for you and the past, but you’re mistaken if you think I’m asking you. I love you Nana, but I’m <em> in love </em> with Cheryl, and she’s in love with me, and I won’t let anyone dictate who I can and can’t love. I respect you and I respect our ancestors, and I know the Blossoms did wrong by our family, but that’s in the past and Cheryl isn’t like them, if anything she’s a victim of that name too. I know what the Blossom’s of old did, but I also know who <em> she </em> is. I know her heart, I see her without her name, I see just her, and I like who she is Nana, I <em> love </em> her, and after all we’ve been through to get to where we are, I refuse to allow <em> anyone </em> to try and tear us apart now.”</p><p>
  <em> That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you don’t want to call her anything else do you Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For she’s Cheryl.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>Her Nana sits in silence for a while regarding her with angry eyes, and the youngest Topaz sends a silent plea to the universe that maybe, just maybe she was finally hearing Toni’s words. </p><p>But when the older woman shakes her head and narrows her eyes, Toni knows that the universe hasn’t heard her, “I mean what I say, I will not allow you to date this Blossom girl, I don’t care what you’ve been through, you’re blinded by your feelings, by your infatuation, you’ve forgotten the truth.”</p><p>Toni’s anger grows, oh how she hates being disregarded, and this, her feelings and cares being tossed aside without matter, it’s truly getting to her.</p><p>As the woman before her continues, Toni finds her patience and willingness to listen to incorrect assumptions gone. </p><p>“Your family, <span>Antoinette</span>, your home-”</p><p>“Is with her.” There is anger seeping into Toni’s voice and she doesn’t ever try to hide it, she’s had enough. “I’m sorry but where did you think I’ve been living? Oh wait no that’s right you weren’t around. You weren’t there when I needed you, you turned a blind eye to the abuse my Uncle put me through and how he'd lock me out and I had to fend for mysele. But wait he’s on dad’s side so you don’t care about that right? You disappeared from my life, just like everyone always does. Everyone except Cheryl. You weren’t here when I needed you, but Cheryl was. She’s given me a home, she gives me care and security, she gives me <em> love. </em> You might be my family through blood Nana, but Cheryl is my family through <em> choice.” </em></p><p>Her Nana, it would seem, is as unrelenting as she, “what about the Serpents-”</p><p>“What about them Nana? Oh sorry do you mean the people that welcomed her with open arms and gladly placed a custom red jacket on her back? Or do you mean the people Cheryl has constantly proven herself to and helped and is now seen as one of our own? Don’t bring the Serpents into it because they chose her too.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name, Toni? </em>
</p><p>The woman in front of her scoffs, “I won’t allow this <span>Antoinette</span>, I will not sit here and allow you to date a Blossom. I will not allow a Topaz to be with one of <em> them. </em>”</p><p>
  <em> Seemingly everything. </em>
</p><p>Toni’s heart plummets, she doesn’t like how her Nana keeps repeating that comment. And whilst she knows exactly what answer she’ll give if forced to, it doesn't mean her heart isn’t breaking right now at the thought of losing her Grandparents if her Nana stands by this.</p><p>Her voice is hard, but has an edge of pleading for the woman before her to reconsider her words. “Don’t make me choose Nana, don’t force an ultimatum on me, because I’ll choose her every time. You can’t permit love, you can’t <em> allow </em> it, it just is, and I love Cheryl, and she loves me. My heart has chosen her, just as I will if you make me.”</p><p>Toni’s warning sits weightedly in the air as tension swirls thickly around them.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But the weight might just be heavier even after the crown is gone, Toni. </em>
</p><p>There is a moment of quiet, filled only with the sound of their breaths and the pounding of Toni’s heart. She’d known there was a risk of her being forced to choose, she’s accounted for it in the countless scenarios played out in her head, but she’d also hoped that’s where they’d stay and she wouldn’t be forced to face this in reality.</p><p>Her Nana stands, looking down at her with narrowed eyes filled with rage and scorn, and <em> definitive certainty, </em> “I mean what I say <span>Antoinette</span>, I <em> forbid </em> a Topaz from dating a Blossom. You make a choice, but understand what it means.” </p><p>For a moment, everything stops.</p><p>For a moment Toni doesn't move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t <em> breathe. </em> </p><p>She doesn’t allow her heart to beat for fear that it may have just been broken beyond repair.</p><p>But then the moment is over and it all comes rushing back. </p><p>She knows what she must do, and <em> fuck </em> it pains her so to know she’s about to lose someone she loves. She feels tears brim at the knowledge that it’s over, she’s fought with all she has and yet it isn’t enough and there’s nothing more she can do.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>Toni fought for Cheryl, for <em> them, </em> but in truth she’s lost, in the end.</p><p>
  <em> But how does it feel now it’s been ripped from your head Toni? </em>
</p><p>With shaky knees Toni stands, willing the tears pooling in her eyes to stay at bay, her heart shattering and <em> god </em> she has <em> no idea how she’s going to explain this to Cheryl. </em> This is all so fucked up. She’d fought with everything she has and yet here she was, about to lose someone her heart cares deeply for.</p><p>She tries to keep her voice as strong as possible but is helpless to keep out the tremors of emotion rife within it. “Well then, I guess that’s that.”</p><p>Toni sighs and looks at her Nana, desperately hoping she’ll take back her words, say she’s bluffing and retract her ultimatum, but the moment never comes. </p><p>No, Toni is being forced to choose, and she knows what she must do.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>As she makes her way to the door, the first tear falls and <em> fuck </em> she can’t believe this is happening. </p><p>
  <em> It would seem this love has limits though, doesn’t it Toni? </em>
</p><p>Reaching for the handle she casts one last look over her shoulder at her Nana, still standing in place but eyes bearing into Toni angrily, full of resentment. The pink haired girl sends her one last sombre smile before she chokes out a quiet sob and leaves.</p><p>“Goodbye Nana.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you liked it! I won't post tomorrow bc of the ep, so see you Thursday!</p><p>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The aftermath of Toni's conversation with her Nana</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heyyy!</p><p>Part 3 is up woo!</p><p>You know the drill, all comments and thoughts are appreciated!</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p><p>Luce :D</p><p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cheryl’s nerves have been getting the better of her since she arrived home just over half an hour ago. She’d tried to busy herself, showering and changing into more comfortable clothing, unpacking her school bag and organising it with what she’d require tomorrow. She’d even eyed her bio homework, of which she had a last few questions to answer, but in truth it wasn’t due for days and she’s not entirely sure she’d be able to focus anyway. </p><p>And so she’s spent the last ten minutes fidgeting on the sofa in the day room, wanting to be close to the door when her love arrives home. But as she sits trawling through her social media in a repetitive cycle, too trapped in her thoughts to focus and thus mindlessly scrolling and switching between apps, Cheryl’s certain that time itself is mocking her with it’s slowness. The tick of the clock painstakingly informing her of every passing second in which Toni has yet to walk through the door. </p><p>She has no clue how long passes before suddenly the unmistakable sounds of a key in the lock echoes into the room and she feels an instant relief at the knowledge that Toni is <em> here. </em> She’s come back to her. </p><p>However when she hears the door closing but no footsteps and a tension seeps through the house like a fog, Cheryl’s on her feet and making her way to the hallway, knowing that something is very, <em> very </em> wrong. </p><p>As she reaches the doorway leading into the foyer, Cheryl feels her heart crack at the sight before her. </p><p>Toni‘s standing with her back pressed against the front door, shoulders tensed, breath heavy, a frown not even attempted to be masked, eyes filled with unshed tears and a weighted glaze, focusing seemingly through the floorboards and into the earth's very core.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown, Toni. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl calls out a soft, “my love?” however it falls upon deaf ears, Toni too encompassed by her mind to realise her girlfriend’s presence. The redhead moves to stand in front of her, a careful hand reaching out to tenderly rub along the back of Toni’s neck and shoulders, hoping to work out even a bit of the tension, “what’s wrong TT? Talk to me darling.”</p><p>
  <em> And how does your head lie now? </em>
</p><p>Toni is still for but a moment, and then she <em> breaks. </em> </p><p>Eyelids clamp tightly shut as tears stream down her cheeks, her body heaving with a sob as she covers her face with her hands and cries. </p><p>It’s as if the adrenaline and heat of the moment that’d built whilst talking with her Nana dissipates and she’s left tormented by all the guilt, confusion and uncertainty. Her desperation to make her Nana see Cheryl for who she is and not the name attached to her, to see her as nothing more than the girl who’s stolen Toni’s heart away, has been disregarded and she’s lost the battle.</p><p>And now look at her. </p><p>She’s more lost than ever, the futile hope of simply needing time for her Nana to understand now lain to waste as her harsh words swirl in Toni’s mind in an endless cycle. </p><p>
  <em> “I forbid a Topaz from dating a Blossom. You make your choice, but understand what it means.”  </em>
</p><p>Toni made her choice, as she’d said she would, but the repercussions of such, the understanding of her Nana’s words have her heart in pieces. </p><p>It’d been made clear, it’s forbidden for a Topaz to date a Blossom. </p><p>She’d been faced with an ultimatum, and she’d chosen Cheryl. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>Toni refused to stop dating a Blossom, and so she’s no longer considered a Topaz. </p><p>
  <em> But it would seem the love of her Nana has limits after all.  </em>
</p><p>Her eyes squeeze harder with anguish as her chin trembles, her cheeks sodden with tears as she presses her hands harder into her face. </p><p>“Oh Toni, <em> oh baby.” </em> Cheryl’s voice is soft yet laced with concern as she pulls the sobbing girl into her arms. She cradles her girlfriend close to her body protectively, as if willing all her pain away, desperately wishing she could keep her safe from the hardships of this world. </p><p>They stay there for a while, Cheryl making no moves to question Toni as to what’s wrong, knowing better that right now the girl in her arms needs this, needs to release her pain. Her voice is gentle as she practically coos repeated murmurs of love and security. “I’ve got you TT, let it out, I’m right here. That’s it darling, let it out, I’ve got you, you’re not alone Toni, I’m right here.”</p><p>As it becomes apparent Toni’s cries aren’t about to calm anytime soon, Cheryl releases her hold around the smaller girl just briefly enough to hook one arm around her back and the other under her legs before lifting her and carrying her into the living room. Toni wraps her arms around Cheryl’s shoulders tightly and burrows her head into her shoulder the second she feels her feet leave the floor. </p><p>She stays buried into her girlfriend’s hold even when the redhead sits on the sofa with Toni across her lap and wraps one arm around her back to rest along her thigh, bringing the other across her to cup the back of her head and hold the smaller girl into her body.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But your crown is broken, isn’t it Toni?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lain shattered on the floor. </em>
</p><p>As Cheryl tucks Toni into her chest in the safest and most protective hold she can muster, the smaller girl finds comfort in the thump of Cheryl’s heart. </p><p>The base beat of the soundtrack to her life. </p><p>The pulsating perhaps one of the only sure constants either of them have ever truly known. The steady thrum resonating through Toni’s ears and giving her mind something to focus on amongst the unrelenting torment from the demons occupying her thoughts.</p><p>The demons of which are clawing at her soul, tearing apart the fibres of her being as they sneer at her, their repetitive jeers striking cruelly at her very core. </p><p>
  <em> That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But where’s your name now, Toni? </em>
</p><p>Her Nana had made her choose, and chosen she had, but at what cost?</p><p>She’s chosen Cheryl but lost her Grandparents by doing so, lost the only blood kin she had left.</p><p>But the thing is, could she go back in time, Toni knows she’d choose Cheryl all over again.</p><p>She’d <em> always </em> choose Cheryl. </p><p>Toni’s anguished cries echo throughout the house, tearing through Cheryl with a resonating pain that strikes her to her very bones. An ache courses through her chest as she clutches her love into her body and looks up, trying to will away her own tears and sending silent prayers into the universe, to any deity, any listening ear, to someone, <em> anyone, </em> to hear her pleas and send her the strength to help Toni through this. </p><p>Not that as of right now she’s entirely sure what <em> this </em> is, all she knows is Toni has come home utterly, <em> devastatingly </em> broken, and Cheryl isn’t entirely sure if she has the ability to put the pieces back together.</p><p>But she’s <em> here. </em> </p><p>Toni’s come back to her, and that’s the important thing right? Whatever it is that’s causing her love so much torment they can talk about and fix together, right? As long as they have each other they can get through anything, right? </p><p>She knows that her and Toni’s love for each other is strong, she’s more than aware of the sheer force of it, bound by no limitations. She just hopes that it’s strong enough to overcome whatever happened with Toni’s Nana to cause her girlfriend so much distress.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And your love for Toni can anything, can’t it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>She hushes words of comfort, but they go unheard as the girl in her arms allows her pain to be felt, however as Toni’s breathing hastens and becomes increasingly more shallow, Cheryl knows she has to intervene. Rocking them slightly she brushes some errant strands of hair behind Toni’s ear and presses a kiss to the top of her head, keeping her voice quiet and soothing but just loud enough to break through into Toni’s mind. “You’re okay TT, I’m right here, I’ve got you. Breathe baby, deep breaths, there you go, good girl. You’re okay ma cheriè, I’ve got you.” </p><p>Cheryl repeats her words like a mantra as she presses her lips against pink locks, urging Toni to follow her own breathing and copy the rhythm of the rise and fall of the redhead’s own chest. After a while, the rocking motion coupled with Cheryl’s soothing voice seems to begin to take effect and Toni begins to calm, her sobs quietening to cries muffled into a pale shoulder. </p><p>“There you go my love, good girl, I’ve got you, deep breaths, I’m right here, there you go, good girl TT.” Cheryl continues to murmur words of reassurance and security, knowing that Toni needs the feeling of safety and comfort, that she needs to have some shred of stability to cling to amidst the storm raging in her heart. </p><p>Eventually, the smaller girl’s breathing is mostly steady and her sobs fade to quiet sniffles, the last few droplets of sorrow absorbing into the material of Cheryl’s jumper. The redhead ceases her rocking and resumes trailing her fingers through Toni’s hair as she leans back ever so slightly to look down at the still trembling girl still clinging into her, “oh baby, what happened? What’s gotten you so upset?”</p><p>Cheryl’s questions, however, cause her Nana’s words to swirl once again through her mind, leaving nothing but devastation and emptiness in their wake. </p><p>
  <em> “I forbid a Topaz from dating a Blossom. You make your choice, but understand what it means.”  </em>
</p><p>A fresh torrent of tears begins to stream down Toni’s cheeks and so Cheryl presses a lingering kiss to her forehead before wiping her tears away and cupping her cheek, gently guiding Toni to look up at her. However, when the smaller girl’s eyes meet her own, Cheryl gasps.</p><p>The brown orbs that usually hold nothing but warmth and joy are red raw, brimming with pain and sorrow. As Toni looks up at her through wet lashes, the redhead thinks she’s never witnessed a more heartbreaking sight, the girl in her arms looks utterly, devastatingly, <em> hopeless. </em></p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And how does it lie now said crown is broken in two? </em>
</p><p>When Toni finally finds her voice, it sounds nothing akin to the one that usually leaves her mouth. No, these words aren’t carried with warmth, there is no rasp to be found, only tremors and cracks as she speaks barely above a whisper. “M-my Nana she, she s-said-”</p><p>Before Toni can continue, a sob tears its way out of her chest and Cheryl is hurriedly pressing kisses atop her head as she pulls her love into her shoulder once more, doing all she can to ignore the way her heart plummets.</p><p>Toni’s Nana had said <em> what? </em></p><p>Had she given Toni an ultimatum? Had she refused to allow her Grandchild to date someone of her ilk? Had she scorned Cheryl’s name into the very lowest level of hell, so far into the depths that it resides in the hands of Hades himself? </p><p>Before Cheryl’s mind can spiral any further, Toni speaks up once again, her voice slightly muffled into Cheryl’s neck and overflowing with sorrow, “she, she said n-no, and she was a-angry and I, I tried to make her see but- but she wouldn’t listen and I-I tried to tell her that, that you’re different but she just, she wouldn’t listen and she- she said she forbids a T-Topaz dating a Blossom, and, and I told her if she m-made me pick I’d choose you b-but she said she meant it, and, and to make my c-choice but understand what she meant, and s-so I did and, and now, I, she, C-Cher, I, I d-don’t think I’m a T-Topaz anymore-”</p><p>And with that Toni descends into sobs. </p><p>The gut wrenching cries clawing from her body sound akin to that of a wounded animal. But then again, Cheryl supposes Toni is wounded, she’s wounded in her heart, she’s hurting in her soul, pain surging through the very fibres of her being.</p><p>She begins rocking the girl in her arms once more, unable to keep the anguish from her own voice and tears from falling down her own cheeks as she holds Toni as securely to her body as possible. “Oh baby girl, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry sweetheart. You deserve more TT, you deserve so much more. You’ll get through this darling, <em> we’ll </em> get you through this. I’m so <em> so </em> sorry my love.”</p><p>Toni chokes out a sobbed, “I f-fought for us with all I had, a-and I, I still lost. I l-lost them,” before erupting in more cries, desperately clinging to Cheryl’s jumper, searching for something, <em> anything </em> to hold on to, to tether herself to something whilst seemingly everything is ripped away from her.</p><p>Tears spill from the redhead’s own eyes as she feels the way Toni heaves against her. How could Toni’s Nana do this to her? How could she disown her like this, purely for being in love. Being in love with <em> her.  </em></p><p>With a Blossom.</p><p>
  <em> That which is a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And oh how you wish you were of another name now, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>Toni doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve to know such hardship, to experience such pain, to be tormented with such cruelty. Toni is the light in the dark, the warmth in the most icy of places, she’s joy in moments of the deepest sorrow, the calm in even the roughest storms.</p><p>Toni is all that is good in this god forsaken world and it pains Cheryl that time and time again she is dealt a hand so harsh, so cruel and unrelenting. </p><p>Toni deserves joy and comfort, laughter and care. This girl in her arms should know nothing but kindness and nurture, happiness and love, and <em> fuck </em> this is all so messed up. </p><p>Toni’s in love, she’s <em> happy, </em> surely that should be the most important thing? </p><p>Surely her Grandparents, her Nana, could lay down their grievances for but a moment to see that their Granddaughter has a heart of the purest nature and character judgement to the highest observation, and that if she allowed said heart into the belonging of another, that alone showed their worthiness to be at least given a <em> chance. </em> Surely they knew that Toni didn’t trust easily, if barely at all and so for her to deem someone worthy enough this tough a fight, that spoke loud enough in itself? </p><p>All Toni had pleaded for was a <em> chance </em> to show her Nana that something beautiful can bloom from even the most soiled of earth. Could she not have been allowed even that much?</p><p>But no, apparently not.</p><p>Because to Toni’s Nana, none of it mattered, for Cheryl is a Blossom and her name is <em> dripping </em> in sin. Not even the passing of generations and truest of intentions could atone for the actions of the past. </p><p>No, Cheryl is a Blossom, and it would seem roses have thorns no matter how beautiful their petals.</p><p>Toni’s cries eventually calm once more and Cheryl takes a moment to wipe away her own tears before focusing on her love. “Toni, my love, I know right now this feels like the end of everything, and I know you’re hurting and oh how I wish I could take it all from you, but I promise you my sweet, we’re going to get you through this. I know there’s pain in your heart and it’s going to take time, but I promise you I’m right here, I’ve got you TT, I’ll be right by your side, holding your hand through it all.”</p><p>Toni offers no response other than a quiet sniffle, and so Cheryl presses a kiss against her head before leaning down slightly to press their foreheads together and look into the eyes of the girl that had captured her heart. “Toni, I need you to listen to me okay?” </p><p>When Toni’s eyes eventually meet hers, Cheryl continues in the most sincere voice she can muster, “what your Nana did to you, the fact she made you choose, it’s not okay my love. I understand she has grievances with my family, with <em> me, </em> but for her to do to you what she has, it’s wrong. And ma cheriè I know that right now it feels like you’re the one who’s lost, but in truth, they are. They lost you today TT, and I almost feel sorry for them in a way, because they’ve just lost the kindest, purest, most <em> loving </em> soul to ever come into being. I know right now your heart is aching Toni, but I promise you, they’re the ones who lost, for they lost you, and losing you, well, it’s a sorrow I wish to never know.” </p><p>Tears are spilling from Toni’s eyes, and so Cheryl leans back slightly to allow enough room for her fingers to gently wipe them away before shifting and pulling Toni into her chest once more. <em> “They lost you </em> my love, and I know your heart is hurting right now, but I’m right here, and I promise you, you’re so tough TT, you’re so resilient, I know you can get through this, that <em> we </em> can get you through this. You’re so strong sweetheart, and in the moments that you don’t feel that you are, then you take strength from me okay? I know right now you don’t think you can do this but I swear to you mon tresor you can, you can do this, and I’m going to be right by your side, always.” </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And how you love her Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And oh how she loves you. </em>
</p><p>After a few heavy breaths, Toni nods with a quiet sniffle before moving her head to lie on Cheryl’s shoulder, nuzzling her face into her neck. </p><p>They sit like that for a little while, Toni seeking comfort from Cheryl and the taller girl giving it to her in every way she knows how. Tender, delicate caresses along the soft skin of her thigh, lips pressing against the top of her head, arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace, words of love and reassurances murmured into her ear. </p><p>Toni sighs heavily before speaking in a voice so small it pains Cheryl’s heart to even hear, “I just, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I knew it might take time, but I didn’t think she’d do it. I, I didn’t think she’d make me choose, even after I told her it’d be you who I chose.”</p><p>Cheryl can’t escape the sinking feeling that this is all her fault. </p><p>The Blossom curse was her burden to bear after all, and now it would seem it had sought out Toni by association. She’s always known of her name's damnation, of its destiny to cause pain and destruction wherever it could, chaos was the family specialty after all. And now look, fate has struck once again, the Blossom curse caring not for what, or whom, its ripples affect, and now the holder of her heart is caught in the fray, losing family simply by association of Cheryl’s name.</p><p>When she speaks, Cheryl’s voice is ridden with guilt, “TT, darling, I cannot express how sorry I am that you’re in this situation, I hate that this is happening to you because of me, it’s not right my love and I hate myself for causing this, for-”</p><p>But before she can finish a small hand is clasping over the one resting on Toni’s thigh and the girl in her arms is sitting up slightly to look up at her with a fierceness flaring in her eyes, “no Cher, no. Don’t you dare say that, don’t you dare blame yourself.” </p><p>If she’s honest, Cheryl’s taken aback by the sudden strength in Toni’s voice, and can only look at her with wide eyes as the girl in her arms continues. “Cher this isn’t your fault and I know you think it is because it’s your name, that it’s the Blossom curse or whatever. But that’s the thing, it’s to do with a name and my Nana not being able to let go of the past. It’s a name that haunts you too, it’s to do with a word that you carry the burden of too.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy is the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But at least you can take her unease away, Toni. </em>
</p><p>The manner in which Toni speaks, the words she says and how her voice holds such certainty even in spite of the sorrow churning in her heart, it calls to Cheryl’s very soul. And she wants to believe her, desperately so. She wants more than <em> anything </em> to believe that all this was out of her hands, that the chaos wasn’t orchestrated by her, however directly or indirectly. </p><p>But she can’t. </p><p>Cheryl can’t shake the demons perched on her shoulder, whispering sinisterly into her ear that this was all her fault, much like bad things always were.</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>The taller girl’s voice is barely above a whisper, “but TT, if it weren’t for my name then none of this would be happening, if it weren’t for my family, for my ancestors then you wouldn’t behaving to deal with this, you wouldn’t have the pain in your heart that you do right now.”</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in a person? </em>
</p><p>Although there are still tears on her cheeks and her voice is still thick with emotion, Toni shakes her head and reaches up to cup Cheryl’s cheek. “Babe that’s not- this isn’t on <em> you, </em> it’s on my Nana, she’s the one who decided she couldn’t accept our relationship, our love, over the past. What’s in a name Cher? Because you’re not a name, you’re a person, you’re <em> you. </em> It’s not about what your last name is, it’s about who you <em> are, </em> the kind of <em> person </em> you are. It’s not about what the past of your name holds, not to me, it’s about what you hold in your heart. And I’ve seen what’s in your heart, and it's good Cher, and I like it, I <em> love </em> it. I love <em> you.” </em></p><p>Cheryl feels emotion bubble in her throat and a few errant tears spill from her eyes. She wants to believe Toni she really does, and the way in which she’s speaking, the certainty in her voice, how she’s making it clear that there’s no room for doubt in her mind that she doesn't blame Cheryl for this, well, the redhead thinks she might just be telling the truth.</p><p>Perhaps she wasn’t to blame for Toni’s pain, perhaps maybe, just maybe, Cheryl can acknowledge that this hurt within her love’s heart wasn’t through fault of her own, and that actually, in truth, this is hurting her too.</p><p>Because it is. </p><p>Not only is seeing the person she loves most in this fucked up world hurting causing Cheryl copious amounts of distress, but knowing someone hates her for actions not of her own, knowing she’s being scorned purely for her name, that assumptions are being laid upon her by someone who knows not of her heart, knowing Toni’s Nana would rather lose her Granddaughter than accept her love for Cheryl, it feels like stab after stab of icy pain to her chest.</p><p>But right now it doesn’t matter, because right now isn’t about her. No, right now Toni needs her. Her girlfriend needs Cheryl to lend her strength, needs to find comfort and security in her arms, needs to hear words of reassurance and love. So that’s exactly what Cheryl does. </p><p>She can deal with her own emotions later, right now is about Toni.</p><p>A quiet takes over as both girls succumb to their thoughts, however Toni’s small voice breaks the moment, “I, I thought that maybe me and my happiness would matter more than the past she can’t let go of. I thought she wanted me back in her life, that, that I was important.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But it would seem the past can, wouldn’t it Toni? </em>
</p><p>Cheryl sighs as she feels a painful stab jolt through her heart at Toni’s words. <em> “Oh TT. </em> I know you’re hurting and I’m so sorry your Nana has put you in this situation, but you are important my love, incredibly so. You matter, you matter to me, to our friends, to the Serpents, Nana Rose <em> adores </em> you, and I know it doesn’t take away your pain from what your Nana has done, but I swear to you my love that your happiness is important, <em> you </em> are important.”</p><p>Seeing Toni’s dubious gaze looking up at her, Cheryl combs a hand through her hair and sends her a gentle smile. “TT, you are quite possibly one of the most wondrous creations to ever grace this earth. Before I was lucky enough to know you, my life knew nothing but darkness and cold, but then suddenly there you were, this feisty pink haired Serpent that, in spite of me giving you every reason <em> not to, </em> cared about me and made me feel seen, and not the person I was pretending to be, the real me <em> . </em> My love, you saw the good in me and then you made me believe that it was there. You taught me not only that I was deserving of love, but also that I was capable of <em> loving.” </em></p><p>Cheryl notices tears brimming in Toni’s eyes and reaches out to capture one with her thumb as it escapes. The girl in her arms is looking at her with wide eyes as if she can’t quite believe the way in which Cheryl sees her. Her voice is breathy and full of disbelief, “Cher, I, I don’t-”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>Cheryl interrupts what she knows will be words of self depreciation, knowing that Toni will never be able to see herself in the way that she does for she’s far too humble, that and riddled with self doubt. “Toni, you make me <em> feel. </em> And after all I’ve been through I wasn’t quite sure that was something that was possible for me. But then you came along and suddenly I wasn't this creature of emotional starvation. Suddenly I learned how to feel things, and to acknowledge my feelings, both the good and the bad ones. And I like it, I like how you make me feel Toni. You make me feel good, even on the bad days.”</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in how someone makes you feel? </em>
</p><p>Toni doesn’t respond, instead simply blinks up at her in wonderment, as if she can’t quite comprehend that someone sees her in such a manner. </p><p>She’s grown up having everything good ripped from her and being constantly told she’s nothing, no one, some snake from the wrong side of the tracks that’d never amount to more than her circumstance and the stereotypes and prejudice that haunted her like a shadow. </p><p>And she’d believed it all, and suddenly here was Cheryl telling her that she’s good, that she has worth and value. </p><p>And yes okay the redhead constantly tells her of her importance and the many reasons why she loves her, but right now, after her Nana had made her feel that her opinion and feelings mattered not, her girlfriend’s words strike a chord within her. </p><p>Cheryl takes Toni’s quietness to mean she still doesn’t believe her, and so leans down to press a kiss to her forehead before resting her own upon it, before looking into Toni’s eyes with a look that can only be described as sheer adoration.</p><p>“You make me want to do better, to <em> be </em> better. You the light in my darkness TT, the warmth that’s spread to even the coldest parts of my soul and melted the iciness away. It’s as if when I saw you for the first time at the drag race, I was drawn to you, and back then I couldn’t quite understand <em> why, </em> but now I do. I remember even days later, I couldn’t remove you from my mind, how you looked at me when I stole the honours, how you looked me up and down and <em> smirked. </em> That smile TT, it was as if the first time I laid eyes upon you my soul was drawn to yours, my heart recognised that you were the one fated to hold it, and that <em> smirk, </em> it was if you looked at me and you knew. I’m not much of a believer in philosophies, but when I saw you for the first time TT, it’s as if I fell in love with you right there and then, and you smiled because you knew.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>“Cher, I-” Toni is completely taken aback by her girlfriend’s words, and in all honesty has no idea how she’s supposed to respond. Knowing that her mind is in too much of an overwhelmed state right now to form an adequate verbal reply, Toni tilts her head up to connect her lips with Cheryl’s, pouring every ounce of love and emotion she can into the kiss. She may not have the words right now, but she hopes that Cheryl understands all she wishes to say. They move together in perfect unison before Toni pulls back slightly, her voice a breathy whisper, “I love you Cheryl, so much.”</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in love? </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s eyes gleam as she smiles down at the girl wrapped in her arms, “as I love you Toni. And I promise you ma cheriè, you will get through this, <em> we </em> will get through this. I know right now it feels like everything is shattering and your world is falling apart, but you’re so strong baby, and I’m right here, right by your side, as I always will be, and we’ll get through it.”</p><p>The redhead tightens her hold around the girl in her arms as Toni gives a teary nod, Cheryl’s words bringing her mind painfully back to the afternoons events and causing the ache in her chest to throb harshly. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Better start putting the pieces of it back together Toni. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But how can you possibly when half of them are missing? </em>
</p><p>As Toni tucks her head into Cheryl’s chest once again, nestling into her neck, she sighs heavily, “I don’t know what to do Cher, prom is days away, we graduate soon and have the whole summer ahead of us before we go to Highsmith, this is supposed to be one of the best times in my life and now I’m doing it whilst dealing with all this stuff with my Nana and not even sure if I’m doing it as a Topaz, I just,” she sighs again, her breath warm against Cheryl’s neck, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”</p><p>Cheryl sends her a sympathetic smile and traces her fingers over her arm comfortingly, “oh darling, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this at all, let alone at such an important time in your life, but as I said before, I know you’re strong enough to get through this, and I’m going to be right by your side okay? We will get you through this, <em> together.” </em></p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But perhaps Cheryl can put the broken pieces of yours back together Toni. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And perhaps it won’t weigh you down anymore. </em>
</p><p>Toni nods and Cheryl presses a kiss to her forehead, “TT I doubt there is a correct answer for your next move, this is a tough situation to navigate to say the least, but perhaps give it some time and focus on healing and the events forthcoming, and once things have cooled you can maybe seek out contact with your Nana. And as for Prom mon tresor, there’s no pressure okay? You and your feelings are far more important than a dance, and so if you don’t feel up to going then we won’t, we can-”</p><p>Toni cuts her off in an instant, sitting upright and looking at her with wide eyes, <em> “no Cher, </em> never. I, I <em> want </em> to go, I want to forget about everything and have a night just us and our friends celebrating the fact that in spite of everything this town has thrown at us, we’ve made it to the end.” Pink hair bounces as she nods resolutely before curling back into Cheryl’s chest, and allowing a hint of jest to seep into her voice, “that and we need to be there, we can’t leave the court without their Prom Queens.”</p><p>Cheryl laughs before responding in a tone riddled with humour, “oh I don’t know TT, there are some other worthy competitors on the ballot, Kevin and Fangs for one.”</p><p>Toni releases a small chuckle and Cheryl allows her heart to burst at the small victory of making the girl in her arms laugh. </p><p>They sit in the quiet for a while, relishing in the comfort of their closeness, before Cheryl makes note of the time and suggests an early night considering they have school the next day before questioning if Toni feels up for going. </p><p>Toni looks up at her with tired eyes, exhaustion beginning to take over from the emotional toll of the day. “No I want to Cher, I need something to focus on and distract me from today, plus I have that work due and we both know what Mr Jackson is like.” </p><p>Cheryl smiles, acknowledging the strictness of their math teacher, and tightens her grip around her love for a moment longer before releasing her. Toni begrudgingly slides from her lap and Cheryl laughs at her antics, collecting her phone from the table and holding her hand out to her girl, and leading Toni to their room. </p><p>They get ready for bed quickly, both moving around each other expertly and soon they’re sliding under the silk sheets, Cheryl wordlessly holding her arms open to Toni, who shifts gladly into her embrace. </p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>They lie in the quiet and just as Cheryl feels the waves of sleep lulling over her, a hushed voice speaks out, “thank you Cher, for tonight.”</p><p>The redhead looks down to find Toni gazing up at her, her petite figure illuminated softly by the moonlight seeping in from a crack in the curtains. </p><p>Cheryl pulls Toni closer into her and nuzzles her nose against pink locks, “oh TT darling, of course, and you need never thank me for being here for you, I always will be. You don’t have to deal with things alone anymore my love, I love you and I’m right here okay. We’re going to get you through this, I promise.”</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in her? </em>
</p><p>She feels Toni’s lips pressing against the underside of her jaw before the smaller girl exhales softly and nestles into her side, Cheryl’s arms providing a much sought out comfort and sense of security as sleep takes hold of them both.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Taa daa!</p><p>I'm amidst writing pt5 &amp; 6 bc i was kinda stuck on how to end it but I figured it out and will have written asap so no fear of ages between upstes, as soon as 5 of done I'll post pt 4 (I'd like to think tomorrow but potentially day after) and then whan pt 6 is done I'll post pt 5!<br/>Solid<br/>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Prom night is here!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh hi!</p><p>How we all doing, ready for pt 4?</p><p>Heads up on a warning for mentions of death (by drunk driving), alchoholism, drug use and abuse. They're only brief mentions and all within the same paragraph, but just in case.</p><p>Hope you enjoy, and as always comments and the like bring me joy and motivation.</p><p>Luce :D</p><p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days pass by in a blur, and before they know it, both girls are slipping into their prom dresses and applying final touches to their appearance, in separate rooms of course, neither one of them wanting to ruin the chance of a good reveal. </p><p>It’s Cheryl who’s ready first, blushing in the living room as Nana Rose bestows compliment after compliment upon her. She knows to most it would be considered a surprise for her to be the one ready first, but the redhead is more than aware that Toni is likely taking a final moment to calm her nerves. Reminding herself that this night is for her, for <em> them, </em> to allow herself a reprieve from everything she’s currently dealing with. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But perhaps for tonight you can forget your unease, Toni. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s making idle conversation with her Nana when the sound of heels upon wooden floorboards echoes into the living room. She feels adrenaline course through her at the knowledge of the sight waiting to befall her eyes the moment she turns around. Hearing a soft gasp from across the room, she takes a second to prepare herself for what she’s about to see before smirking and turning to face her love.</p><p>Said smirk is promptly wiped off her face as she takes in the girl who has captured her heart. </p><p>Even with all the time in the world, there is no possible way she could’ve prepared for the sight before her.</p><p>Toni looks, well, Cheryl knows there isn’t quite anything she could say to bestow such a sentiment to how Toni looks. </p><p>Beautiful. Divine. Magnificent. Exquisite. Gorgeous. <em> Sensational. </em></p><p>No, none of them quite reach the true meaning of just <em> how </em> Toni looks.</p><p>She looks like a sculpture of a divinity carved from the rarest of precious stone to be worshiped across generations. As if a goddess has descended Mount Olympus her very self to stand within the walls of Thistlehouse. She appears like a deity has stepped from a canvas housed within the most respectable of museums to grace them with her presence. </p><p>Yes, that’s it. </p><p>
  <em> She looks like a work of art.  </em>
</p><p>Toni looks like that of which has been created by a maker of the highest accolades who’s poured every inch of their soul into crafting a piece of only the utmost perfection. A pure masterpiece. </p><p>But the thing about art, is that it isn’t meant for looking, not truly. </p><p>No, art is meant to make you <em> feel. </em></p><p>And how Toni looks, well, it certainly makes Cheryl <em> feel. </em></p><p>It makes her heart pound and her knees weak. It makes her head spin and her blood rush to her warming cheeks, causing a delicate hue of cherry to bloom across snow white skin. It makes her breath hasten as if her lungs are rushing to reclaim the very air being knocked out of them. It makes her skin tingle and fingers twitch, as if desperate to reach out and touch the being of sheer beauty before her, just to ensure she’s real. </p><p>And not ignoring that it also gives her an entirely contradictory mind as to whether she wants to take Toni to bed and rip that dress from her very body before ravishing her until long after the moon has risen, or have her stand without moving an inch purely so Cheryl can spend hour upon hour bestowing her eager eyes upon the sheer perfection that is Toni Topaz.</p><p>God does Toni make her <em> feel. </em></p><p>Desire. Enamour. Warmth. Adoration. Infatuation. Contentment. </p><p>And lust, sheer lust.</p><p>And above all, pure, unfiltered, raw <em> love. </em></p><p>So, yes, Cheryl supposes that’s <em> how </em> Toni looks, like a work of art. </p><p>
  <em> A perfect masterpiece.  </em>
</p><p>“Toni,” her name escapes Cheryl’s mouth in an awed breath. Brown orbs widen as they watch the emotions filling the redhead’s own as they roam over her petite figure.</p><p>The intensity of her girlfriend’s gaze and the look of sheer enamour and desire across her face has Toni’s cheeks turning their own shade of delicate pink.</p><p>That, and <em> god </em> Cheryl looks, <em> well. </em></p><p>Toni’s voice is filled with wonderment as she drifts her eyes over her girl’s appearance, “Cher, you look, I, I’m not quite sure there’s a word.”</p><p>At that the taller girl laughs, knowing all too well that sometimes there simply is no word to explain a true sentiment adequately.</p><p>Toni takes in hair and make up done to perfection and the way her red dress sparkles and perfectly accents her figure in such a manner the pink haired girl wants to stare at it for hours but at the same time can’t help but picture what’s <em> underneath. </em></p><p>Neither can contain their smiles as Toni finally moves to stand in front of her love, pale hands instantly reaching out to trace the elegant deep blue fabric of her gown. The smaller girl clears her throat before a nervous glint forms in her eye and she’s looking down to her hand, “I, uhh, I got you this.” </p><p>A gasp escapes Cheryl’s lips as a simple yet <em> beautiful </em> corsage is lifted between them, held carefully in Toni’s palm, the petals a delicate pink that compliments Cheryl’s dress perfectly. </p><p>“May I?” Toni gestures to her wrist and the taller girl nods eagerly, a smile of sheer joy and love for the girl before her gracing Cheryl’s features as gentle fingers clasp her hand and slide the corsage over it. Once in place, Toni lifts her hand towards her, placing a kiss against her knuckles and <em> god </em> Cheryl doesn’t think it’s possible to be any more in love with this girl than she is in this very moment. </p><p>A throat is cleared behind them, breaking them from their bubble as realisation takes over Cheryl with a soft, “oh!”</p><p>Heels click against the floor as Cheryl makes her way to her Nana, gratefully accepting the box she’s held in her lap since her Granddaughter asked her to look after it whilst she got ready. As she busies herself with its contents, Cheryl’s heart bursts as from her periphery she sees her Nana smile at Toni with a warmth that only a Grandmother holds, “you look beautiful <span>Antoinette</span>.”</p><p>Cheryl can practically <em> hear </em> Toni’s blush as she responds with an embarrassed,  “thank you.”</p><p>The redhead thinks back to two days ago when her Nana had taken Toni’s hand in her own and expressed her sorrow for Toni’s situation before making it known clear as day that, although she knew it wasn’t the same, Toni still had a Nana, for Toni had <em> her. </em> </p><p>Cheryl’s heart jolts as she thinks of all she knows of Toni’s family situation. Like her own, it is one of pain and Cheryl knows that even after the events of years ago Toni still harbours an ache in her heart, one that she will carry with her for the rest of her life, just as Cheryl will for Jason.</p><p>Amy Topaz’s life was stolen away entirely too soon on a stormy night in November when a drunken driver ran her off the road. </p><p>Toni was seven.</p><p>Seven years old when her mother was cruelly ripped from her life at the hands of someone three times over the limit. Seven years old when the happy, joy filled life she knew was yanked away from her and her world was left a lot emptier and darker.</p><p>She was eleven when her father Anthony finally succumbed to his overwhelming grief and his long standing fight with refraining from drugs was lost, his desperation to numb his pain finding him stuck in a downwards spiral and eventually landing him in jail far out of state for dealing and possession. Toni hasn’t seen or heard from him since she was sent to live with her Uncle and she knows it’s unlikely she’ll ever have contact with him again.</p><p>Her Uncle and her Grandparents were the only family she had left. </p><p>The only reminder of her father was within her Uncle’s matching eyes, except where Anthony’s had been filled with warmth and love, her Uncle’s only ever looked upon her with hatred as his words hit heavier than his fists. Thankfully though, he was long gone from her life.</p><p>But now her Grandparents are gone too, the last remnants of her mother tearing themselves away from her purely for being in love.</p><p>Cheryl’s heart throbs, yes her family situation was also rather dire, but at least she still has someone, she still has Nana Rose, Toni, she has <em> no one. </em></p><p>No. </p><p>No, that’s not true and the thought is shoved from her mind the second it enters, because Toni does have people, Toni <em> does </em> have a family.</p><p>Toni has her, and <em> always </em> will do. And, whether or not she really realises it, Toni has family within her friends, within Sweet Pea and Fangs, within Veronica, Archie, Kevin and the others, she has the Serpents, including the new members from the merge with the Pretty Poisons. Hell, Toni has family within Nana Rose, Cheryl knowing just how much her Grandmother <em> adores </em> Toni.</p><p>So no, <em> actually, </em> Toni doesn’t have no one, far from it. Yes her family might be of choice and bond and not necessarily blood, but it doesn’t matter, for they’re connected by one thing, the <em> most important thing. </em> An overwhelming amount of <em> love. </em></p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And Toni sure has a lot of it around her, doesn’t she Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Cheryl can’t help her nervousness as she conceals the box’s contents within her hands and makes her way back over to her love, Toni immediately picking up on the apprehension rolling off her with a slight frown.</p><p>The taller girl tries to keep a steady voice as she speaks barely above a whisper, “I got you something TT, something that I know is precious to you and, well...”</p><p>Cheryl trails off nervously before bringing her closed hands up into the space between them, pausing for a breath before opening her grasp to reveal its contents.</p><p>The gasp that leaves Toni’s mouth echoes throughout the room and when she speaks her voice is thick with emotion, “Cher, is- is this-”</p><p>She stops, unable to finish speaking as tears brim in her eyes, but Cheryl answers the question Toni can’t bring herself to ask, “I had it made especially, I just, I thought it would be nice for you to have a part of her with you today.”</p><p>Toni’s chest <em> aches </em> both with a long held pain, and an overwhelming love for the girl before her as she reaches out carefully to delicately trace her fingers over the petals encased within Cheryl’s palms. That shade of blue, this flower, <em> god </em> Toni would know it anywhere.</p><p>For there, resting in pale hands, is an exact replica of the corsage Toni’s mom wore to her own prom. </p><p>“C-Cheryl, I, you, <em> how?” </em></p><p>“I know you only have one picture of your parents together and it’s of them at their senior prom, and I know how much it means to you my love. I know how you miss her TT and how that picture brings you comfort and makes you feel close to her when you look at it, and so I thought it might be nice for you to have a part of her with you today.” Cheryl is rambling, her words rushing out in hasty explanation, desperately trying to stop the tears falling from Toni’s eyes.</p><p>Knowing Toni is overwhelmed, Cheryl speaks in a soft voice, “shall I put it on you TT?”</p><p>When she nods, the redhead takes hold of her wrist and delicately slides the corsage onto it as Toni looks up at her in awe. </p><p>Once the flower is secure, Cheryl takes Toni’s small hand tenderly between her own and holds it into Toni’s own chest. “I know I said I did this so your mom is with you today, but never forget that she’s always with you Toni, she’s in here.” Cheryl looks down to where she holds Toni’s hands over her own heart, “she’s in here TT, and she always will be, she’s within you, never for a moment are you without her my love. Those we hold in our hearts are always with us Toni, never forget that.”</p><p>Both girls are crying, their emotions overflowing, as Toni nods and Cheryl places a gentle kiss to her forehead. The pink haired girl speaks with a shaky voice, “thank you Cher, I, I just, <em> thank you. </em> And I know, I know Jason is always with you Cheryl, and he’s so proud of you and who you’ve become.” </p><p>“Thank you TT, I truly hope so,” Cheryl responds with a watery smile, releasing an exhale as the moment comes to a close, gentle fingers carefully wiping away the tears on Toni’s cheeks as the smaller girl mirrors her actions and clears away the ones running down pale cheeks. </p><p>Cheryl pulls her love into her arms and presses a kiss to her cheek before nuzzling her nose into pink locks and murmuring into her ear. “Tonight is about you TT, it’s about us, no names, no grievances, no feuds passed through the ages, it’s about nothing more than just you and I enjoying the night with friends okay?”</p><p>When she pulls back, Toni blinks up at her with teary eyes before reaching to cup a pale cheek and nodding, “just you and me Cher.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But steadiness is brought by her hand in yours. </em>
</p><p>They break apart and both girls feel their hearts swell at the look Nana Rose is sending them, her face the picture of nothing but heartwarming love. Reaching over to pick up the camera resting on the table, she waves it at them slightly, “now now girls, I can’t let you go without getting at least one picture, you look like angels.”</p><p>Toni smiles brightly as she feels Cheryl’s arms wrap around her and pull her into her side, brown orbs filled with warmth meeting her own in a look of sheer love as a camera flashes, capturing the precious moment candidly to be reminisced upon through the ages. </p><p>More photos are taken, Cheryl turning Toni in her arms and pulling her back into her body securely as the smaller girl’s hands rest over her own, fingers intertwined and hearts beating as one. Eventually the doorbell rings alerting them to the arrival of the limo Cheryl has booked and so they break apart and bid their farewells to Nana Rose and her carer, who had popped her head in to say how beautiful the girls looked amidst their photoshoot, and make their way out the door hand in hand.</p><p>------------------</p><p>When the girls walk into the gym hand in hand, they’re taken aback by just how <em> beautiful </em> it looks, Toni reaching up to press a kiss to Cheryl’s cheek as they make their way to the photographer for the much desired prom photo. </p><p>The base beat reverberates around the gym with song after song, both girls dance together amongst their friends, although both are more than aware of the obvious tension growing between Veronica and Archie. At one point Toni laughs as she sees Reggie dumping the contents of a hip flask into the punch before Sweet Pea does the exact same thing only minutes later, leaning up to whisper into Cheryl’s ear in order to warn her of its now rather high alcohol level.</p><p>It’s well into the night when Principal Weatherbee takes to the stage for the much anticipated Prom court revelation. Cheryl turns to Kevin and Fangs beside her with a humoured smile, “well then, I guess this is it boys, we all know out of everyone it’s going to be between us and so I suppose, may the best gays win.” Toni is unable to stop the laugh that erupts from her lungs as Kevin splutters and Fangs chuckles, the redhead turning to look at her with a mischievous wink before turning her attention back to Weatherbee. </p><p>“It’s now my honour to announce this year’s Prom Royalty.” Neither girl can deny the jolt of nervous adrenaline that spikes through them at their principal's words, after all there are worthy competitors running against them.</p><p>As Weatherbee opens the envelope and reads the card, he smiles before turning back to the mic, “it would seem the people have spoken, and so congratulations to Miss Cheryl Blossom and Miss <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz, Riverdale High’s first ever Prom Queens.” </p><p>Toni can’t help the stab of pain at hearing her Nana’s words swirl through her mind and wondering if she could even call herself a Topaz anymore.</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And what are you going to call yourself now Toni? </em>
</p><p>However the feeling of Cheryl pulling her in for a kiss overrides her sorrow, and replaces it with joy. </p><p>Cupping her hand to the side of Cheryl’s neck she kisses her back eagerly before allowing her girlfriend to lead her through the crowd, sending Fangs and Kevin a wink as she goes and laughing at their feigned annoyance.</p><p>Making their way onto the stage, Toni smiles as they’re crowned and Cheryl steps to the microphone. As her love thanks their peers, Toni can’t help but feel her heart swell as their friends look at them with pride, each of them understanding the gravitas this moment holds.  Not only has Cheryl to finally gotten her crown, but also for two Prom Queens to be voted for by the student body, one of which arrived at this school from the wrong side of the tracks with a Serpent on her back, it’s a lot.</p><p>Oh how far they’ve come.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But how does this one feel Toni? </em>
</p><p>Toni’s pulled from her thoughts when she realises Cheryl is looking at her expectantly, a brow rising in question of her wanting to add anything. Initially she shakes her head, but when Sweet Pea calls out from the crowd, “speech Toni, speech,” and is met with a cheer, she steps up to the mic. </p><p>At first she feels a sense of unease, speeches weren’t really her thing after all, but when she feels Cheryl’s hand slip into her own Toni clears her throat. “I uhh, well, you all know me well enough that speeches aren’t my kinda thing, but I guess, thank you for this, who’d have thought it hey, a Southside Serpent being named Riverdale High Prom queen? But yeah, thank you for this, it means a lot to us both, truly.”</p><p>She steps away from the mic and allows Cheryl to lead her to the dancefloor to the sound of cheering. </p><p>Soft music begins to thrum from the speakers as they take their place in the middle of the floor, Toni reaches up to wrap her arms around her love’s neck and laughs as Cheryl sends her a mischievous smile before she feels her hands on her butt. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And it would appear your love is known by all. </em>
</p><p>They sway to the music before their friends, their eyes focused only on each other as they soak up the moment. Cheryl looks down at Toni, completely and utterly awed by the girl in her arms, and still not entirely sure how she’s managed to be considered worthy of loving, and being loved by this exquisitely perfect being. </p><p>And the thing is, Cheryl knows Toni isn’t perfect, not strictly speaking. The pink haired girl has been part of things that without a doubt leave her soul tainted and her mind harrowed. She can still remember Toni’s guilty cries as she recalled holding down Penny, and the subsequent nightmares as the memory haunted her into her sleep. And then there’s the whole thing with Bedford. </p><p>So yes, Toni’s purity is marred, her morality sullied, her essence tainted. </p><p>But then again, to Cheryl, those things don’t take away from her perfection, no, they add to it. </p><p>Because Cheryl doesn’t just see it as murder or grevious bodily harm, no, she sees the other side of things. She sees <em> why </em> Toni has done those things. </p><p>She understands Toni did it to force out the Snake amongst the Serpents, to put an end to the hand that crippled them and caused no end of dire situations. To prevent those younger than her being used as she and her friends had been time and time again. </p><p>Toni did it to keep others safe, to look out for them and protect those she cares about. </p><p>To protect <em> her. </em></p><p>To save <em> her. </em></p><p>She’s a kind of enigmatic juxtaposition, Toni’s perfect, because she isn’t. </p><p>She’s done bad things but she did them to try to be good, she’s caused harm to create safety, she took to give, she ended a life to save another. </p><p>So on the surface, no, Toni might not be considered perfect by someone who knows only of these actions, but underneath that, to Cheryl, Toni is quite possibly the universe’s finest creation. </p><p>And she’s perfect. </p><p>She’s perfect because she’s her, because she’s <em> Toni. </em></p><p>And by some miracle, Cheryl is the one deemed worthy enough to press a kiss to her lips as they sway to the music.</p><p>As her queen looks up at her with eyes shining and a smile considered the epitome of sheer <em> joy, </em> Cheryl acknowledges that to her, Toni is this being of sheer utter perfection, and could never be deemed to be anything else. </p><p>Yes, Toni Topaz is perfect. </p><p>And it’s safe to say that Cheryl Blossom is not.</p><p>At least not in her own eyes.</p><p>Cheryl was born into a family where sin and <em> deviance </em> had taken hold like a rot. Where power was still power even if heinously corrupt. Where in some twisted warped belief, love and kindness were considered weakness, and reputation and control, no matter how forced, would always take precedent.</p><p>No, it’s safe to say that if Toni were a gift from above, bestowed upon this earth to spread only good, then Cheryl had clawed her way out of Hades' very grasp, dragging herself up to the surface, desperately hoping to rid herself from the cursed damnation she was born into.</p><p>And yet Toni loves her. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And this love is one for the ages.  </em>
</p><p>In spite of it all, in spite of the ugly and most harrowing corners of her, Toni loves her.</p><p>Because to Toni, it doesn’t matter. Yes, Cheryl might not be this person of perfection, but that’s okay, because in reality who hasn’t made mistakes? Who hasn’t been through their own personal level of hell? All because Cheryl had been born into a family that it could be said was created by Lucifer himself, doesn’t mean she wasn’t worthy of love.</p><p>Because to Toni, Cheryl is worthy of everything good in this world, she’s worthy of kindness and comfort, of care and support, of happiness and contentment. </p><p>Cheryl Blossom is worth more than Toni thinks she’ll ever quite be able to say. </p><p>So yes, Cheryl isn’t perfect, she might be dramatic and have a certain knack for chaos, and, honestly, sometimes be a bit too self-absorbed, but to Toni it doesn’t really matter.</p><p>Cheryl isn’t perfect, not like Toni is, but that’s okay, because Toni doesn’t love her for all that she isn’t, Toni loves her for all that she <em> is. </em></p><p>Toni loves her for the person she strives to be, not the haunted shell long since left behind. She loves her for the goodness in her heart, not the evil her name is condemned with. Toni loves her for the girl behind the masquerade, the person behind the walls. </p><p>Toni loves her for being her, for being <em> Cheryl, </em> nothing more, nothing less. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>But as she looks up into those brown eyes, Toni feels said crown slipping.</p><p>Both literally and metaphorically, for as the metal slides from her head Toni feels the weight burdening her slip off with it. </p><p>In this moment there was no family feud, no enemies, no resentment or hate. </p><p>No, there was only them, just Cheryl and Toni in each other's arms, dancing together surrounded by friends and swaying to the soft music under twinkling lights. </p><p>Before the metal clatters to the ground, a pale hand leaves its hold against her back and catches it with a perfect reflex. Both girls release a chuckle as Cheryl reaches up to return the metal and gems to rest atop pink locks rightfully once again. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But not this one Toni, not this crown placed by her.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Not this crown, gained from love.  </em>
</p><p>For as they move together before the proud eyes of their peers, as red chiffon mingles with blue silk and two hearts born into opposing circumstances beat in perfect rhythm, everything else melts away. </p><p>All the guilt and the worry, the concern and strife. It all dissolves into the background of the moment, <em> their moment </em>. </p><p>The moment no one can take from them, the moment in which it doesn’t matter the gravitas of a surname, or the world in which they’re born into. A moment in which the book of history is closed momentarily and one of the future opened. Where chapters of old are rendered to be but a moment of the past as fresh pages turned anew, and a fresh story is continued. </p><p>The story of them, of Cheryl and Toni, of them and <em> only them. </em> </p><p>No past but hope for a future.</p><p>No surname against surname, only skin against skin and lips against lips. </p><p>No fued bound in hate but bonds bound in love. </p><p>This moment, right here, right now, it was theirs and theirs alone. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And their love, well, it could conquer anything. </em>
</p><p>As the song fades into the next and other couples join them on the floor Cheryl leans down to place a gentle kiss against Toni’s plump lips, savouring the end of the moment made only for them as their friends surround them joyfully. </p><p>Pulling away, both girls make note of the unshed tears in Veronica’s eyes and Archie’s stony gaze, but when Toni raises a questioning eyebrow at their friend she’s met with a simple shake of her head in a silent plea to leave it. </p><p>Flitting her eyes to meet Cheryl’s, a conversation is had only in looks and both agree to do as Veronica says and drop it, but only for tonight. Whilst they can accept her wanting to forget about things and do what she can to enjoy the night, neither girl was willing to let Veronica go through whatever it was alone, especially considering how she’d been there for them. </p><p>As songs pass they’re laughing together, all feeling the effects of the alcohol from the glass of double spiked punch they’d each agreed to have as part of a toast to their friendship. Sweet Pea and Reggie had, <em> predictably, </em> both claimed their punch spiking titles and shared a high five upon realisation they’d both done the same thing, in spite of the fact everyone was already more than aware of their actions. </p><p>Cheryl is amidst pressing a, somewhat sloppy, kiss to Toni’s cheek as they dance with their friends when suddenly the lights shut off and the music cuts out. The taller girl has Toni in her arms within an instant, both seeking to protect the other whilst equally finding comfort in the safety of their hold. </p><p>A video begins playing on the projector and it’s safe to say neither girl really understands what’s happening, but gauging by the looks on her cousin and Jughead’s faces, Cheryl deduces that they must know what’s going on. </p><p>As the video plays, Toni looks up at her with frightened eyes. Though she may be tough, Cheryl is more than aware that her Uncle’s verbal and physical abuse as well as constant crashing around the trailer has left Toni with an uneasy fear of loud noises, and so she presses soothing kisses to her girlfriend’s forehead and runs calming patterns along her spine, thankful when she feels Toni begin to relax somewhat. </p><p><em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em> </p><p>
  <em> But where’s your unease now Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Gone, and replaced by safety found in her arms.  </em>
</p><p>The video ends and the lights snap back on, the inhabitants of the gym looking around in confusion and Cheryl makes note of how Betty and Jughead are speaking in frantic yet hushed voices. </p><p>The music starts again and people resume their dancing, quick to get over the disturbance but Cheryl can see Toni is still somewhat uncomfortable and so pulls her even closer into her body. She presses a lingering kiss atop her head until the smaller girl sighs and nuzzles into her neck, taking comfort in the scent of Chanel and cherry body wash that is just so <em> Cheryl. </em></p><p>Once calmed, Toni returns a kiss of her own to the corner of her love’s mouth before they rejoin their friends and enjoy the rest of their night.</p><p>The night winds down and their friends begin to head home, Veronica and Archie disappear suspiciously early, especially considering their behaviour since about halfway into the night. Jughead and Betty left a few moments prior, both distracted since the video interruption, and when her phone rings Cheryl informs Toni that the limo is here to take them home. </p><p>They bid farewell to Sweet Pea, Fangs and Kevin before making their way to the car. They sit impossibly close and Toni rolls her eyes and smiles at her girlfriend’s mischief when Cheryl places a pale hand suspiciously high upon her thigh. </p><p>Her laughter soon turns into squirming however when said pale fingers begin trailing over said thigh, daring to inch higher and higher each time until Toni is sending Cheryl <em> that look </em> of warning. The redhead simply laughs and carries on with her teasing, smirking when Toni can’t get out the car quick enough once they arrive back at Thistlehouse.</p><p>The second the front door is closed behind them, Cheryl is pushing Toni up against it, capturing her lips in a kiss filled with passion and desire. The smaller girl grips red locks as Cheryl drops her lips to Toni’s neck and runs her hands over her body, continuing with her teasing with feather light touches so close, yet just far enough away from where Toni pleads for them to graze. Plump lips trail over the smaller girl’s pulse point and Cheryl feels heat pool within her as Toni moans and begs her for more.</p><p>Deciding her girl’s dress has been on for entirely too long, Cheryl releases her neck from her lips assault and steps back, smirking at Toni’s rosy cheeks and whimpers at the loss of contact. Raking her eyes over the sight of Toni pressed against the door, flustered and breathing heavily, Cheryl captures her own lip between her teeth and takes hold of her girlfriend’s hand, leading her upstairs and towards their bedroom.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Taa daa, hope you enjoyed!</p><p>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. You are a lover, borrow Cupid's wings and soar with them above a common bound.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It becomes clear that Toni isn't handling things as well as she's pretending to, and Cheryl just wants to fix it, but she doesn't think she can this time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi friends :D</p><p>Pt 5 woo! Second to last pt :(</p><p>One thing I will say is I know this started as a 5x01 rewrite and it still is but its kinda escaped to bounds of the canon plot, you'll see what I mean, but yeah! </p><p>Hope you enjoy, and as always comments make my heart happy and give me motivation so please feel more than welcome to do so, either here or cc's or twitter or carrier pigeon or anyhow :)</p><p>Sick one,</p><p>Luce :)</p><p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's 3:40am and Cheryl can't sleep.</p><p>Her and Toni had spent hours fulfilling their desire and need for each other, their gowns discarded in pools of material on the floor amidst their haste to finally be close to each other.</p><p>Toni’s currently sleeping soundly tucked into her side, and Cheryl relishes the feel of her bare skin pressed against her own. The covers come to rest just below her girlfriend’s waist and the redhead trails her eyes over the exposed skin of Toni’s muscled back, grazing her fingers over it tenderly.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl can’t help the way her lips twitch upwards as a soft sigh of content ghosts across her chest from Toni’s lips. How she <em> adores </em> the girl in her arms. </p><p>
  <em> Let there be no doubt. </em>
</p><p>She still can’t quite believe they’d done it, they’d actually won Prom Queens. Granted, her and Toni had campaigned, and yes Cheryl had always envisioned herself as being crowned as such ever since her first day at Riverdale High, but she can’t help the way her chest floods with warmth as she thinks about just how starkly different those dreams were compared to her current reality.</p><p>Before, she’d wanted to be Prom Queen because she’d wanted to <em> matter. </em> She’d wanted to be on top, no care how superficial the hierarchy. She’d wanted to be seen as something more, <em> someone more. </em> More than how her parents viewed her, more than how she viewed herself. </p><p>She wanted to be more than a lost, loveless, frightened girl who was just desperate to at least pretend that she had value.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you didn’t care did you Cheryl, you needed it anyway. </em>
</p><p>But now, oh god, <em> now.  </em></p><p>Tonight she’d been crowned Prom Queen with the person she loves by her side, with the <em> girl </em> she loves by her side, openly and honestly. She’d been crowned Queen <em> knowing </em> she matters, knowing she’s more than the fictitious and unknowing opinions of others, knowing that being on top isn’t important, not really, it’s about who you’re surrounded by. She’d been crowned Prom Queen knowing her self worth, well for the most part at least, and knowing that she isn’t loveless, she isn’t deviant, she’s her, she’s Cheryl, just Cheryl, and perhaps, yes, maybe she is sensational.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But now you know you don’t require it to have worth, don’t you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>As Toni shifts in her arms, she brushes away an errant pink lock that’s fallen onto her face and feels her heart swell with happiness.</p><p>
  <em> And yet you gained it anyway, didn’t you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And now you might just deserve it. </em>
</p><p>Had someone told the Cheryl of a few years ago she’d be lying in bed with a girl more beautiful than her wildest imaginings, after having spent the night with said girl between the sheets after an evening with her in her arms as they danced and laughed with their friends, well quite frankly, she’d never have believed them. </p><p>And yet here she is.</p><p>Holding Toni’s bare body against her own, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as her breath tingles against her neck, her hand resting directly over Cheryl’s heart.</p><p>She supposes had someone told the rowdy and rebellious Southside Serpent Toni Topaz of a few years ago she’d be crowned the Riverdale High Prom Queen by a bunch of Northsiders alongside her girlfriend Cheryl Blossom, they’d be met with an incredulous laugh coupled with some form of snarky comment.</p><p>And yet here she is.</p><p>Here <em> they </em> are.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl.  </em>
</p><p>And in spite of everything they’ve had to endure, Cheryl wouldn’t have it any other way. </p><p>Well, no, she supposes that’s not strictly true, perhaps there are a few things she’d change. Having JJ here for one. But then again, she wonders how things would be were he still here, his death was the catalyst for everything, was it not?</p><p>Had JJ not been murdered, would she be with Toni right now? Would she be the person she is right now?</p><p>She worries that perhaps the answer is no.</p><p>And for the other thing she wishes were different? As she lightly runs her nails over Toni’s exposed skin, Cheryl casts her mind over how she wishes things were different for <em> her. </em> How she wishes her love wasn’t in this current predicament, unsure of her status as a Topaz and losing the last of her blood family. </p><p>As Cheryl glances around the moonlit room, her eyes fall on the windowsill.</p><p>Or rather, her eyes fall on Toni’s stuffed bunny that sits upon it, Toni’s Prom crown balanced precariously on its head.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>Said bunny had once belonged to Toni’s mom and is considered one of her most prized possessions, and here it is, sat on a windowsill within the Blossom estate with a Prom crown falling off its head.</p><p>
  <em> Rather fitting Cheryl, don’t you think? </em>
</p><p>A Topaz residing within the hold of a Blossom with a crown far too big for the head that wears it.</p><p>
  <em> And said crown is slipping. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl sighs heavily, Toni doesn’t deserve all this, she doesn’t deserve to constantly have to fight to have some shred of happiness. She shouldn’t be at war trying to keep the people she cares about in her life, she shouldn’t be having to endure heartbreak after heartbreak, constantly afraid of losing the important people in her life.</p><p>She’s pretty certain that it’s where her neediness for physical contact stems from. Toni’s so scared of losing anymore of her loved ones she has a need to be constantly physically connected to them just to reassure herself they’re still there. It’s as if she has a subconscious desperation to attach herself to those important to her for fear that if she even simply loosens her grip, they’ll disappear from her life like those before.</p><p>The redhead would be lying if she said she hasn’t noticed how Toni’s become even needier since all this started, especially since the events of a few days ago. And yes, Cheryl <em> adores </em> how much her girl seeks out her touch and enjoys knowing the comfort she brings to Toni by giving her such, but she’s also concerned that the increase in her neediness is a sign that Toni’s struggling with everything a lot more than she’s letting on.</p><p>It’s just not fair, Toni shouldn’t be dealing with this, she should be enjoying her last moments as a Senior and celebrating everything she's achieved before her and Cheryl head off to Highsmith. She should be spending this time laughing and creating those all important last few memories with her friends to add to those already made that she’ll reminisce upon and cherish forever.</p><p>This time of Toni’s life shouldn’t be clouded by a shroud of anguish over her Nana’s words, it shouldn’t be filled with sorrow at the loss of family because of her love.</p><p>Because of <em> who </em> she loves.</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How you wish you knew so you could fix it, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>She wishes she knew what to do to make this better, but in truth, she’s not entirely sure if there’s anything she <em> can </em> do. It’s not exactly as if she can knock on the elder Topaz’s door and ask to speak to them, and she can’t undo events that happened years ago, as much as she wishes she could. </p><p>All she can do is be there for Toni and remind her that she’s not alone, but honestly, it’s killing her because it doesn’t feel like enough. She wants to fix things, she wants to take Toni’s misery away, but she can’t, and she hates it. </p><p>The girl she’s in love with is suffering, and there’s nothing she can do but hold her whilst she does. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold out love. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You just have to hope your love is enough to get her through this, don’t you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Cheryl sighs as she feels sleep finally begin to overcome her. Turning to nuzzle her nose against Toni’s hair, she inhales the scent of her shampoo and tightens her hold around her gently. Pulling her love into her and hoping that somehow, <em> someway </em> they’d get Toni through this, Cheryl allows herself to succumb to sleep.</p><p>---------------------</p><p>It’s been one week since she and Cheryl were crowned Prom Queens, and Toni is <em> drained. </em></p><p>It’s as if the excitement and joy of last Saturday has slowly faded away and here she is spending the afternoon sitting on the sofa in the living room feeling lost and devastated. She’s so unsure about where she stands with her Nana, but then again, considering she hasn’t had any contact with her since <em> that </em> afternoon, Toni’s pretty certain that speaks loudly enough in itself.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.  </em>
</p><p>Toni sighs heavily. She’s not entirely sure why her emotions are getting to her so much today, why her mind is filled with cruel sneers from the demons crowding her mind, but they are, and they’re taking their toll. </p><p>
  <em> But uneasy doesn’t quite encompass it, does it Toni? </em>
</p><p>With a shaky exhale she runs her hand through her hair, <em> today’s just a bad day, </em> that’s all. She’s just tired from her lack of sleep last night.</p><p>Except, if she’s completely honest with herself, Toni knows that’s complete and utter <em> bullshit. </em></p><p>She’s not <em> just tired, </em> and today isn’t <em> just a bad day. </em> No, it’s a day where she finds herself unable to push down the pain rife within her heart. </p><p>Yes okay, perhaps her lack of sleep is the reason why she can’t muster the energy to adorn herself with her full set of armour, and so has simply managed to somehow haphazardly shove on the bare minimum. Maybe her tossing and turning last night is why she finds herself too tired to secure her mask, too weary to hide her doubts and insecurities deep down inside herself, too exhausted to pretend the ache in her chest and anguish in her soul isn’t crippling her. </p><p>She sighs as the stark truth makes itself known in her mind.</p><p>Today isn’t a <em> bad </em> day, no, it’s a day where she’s unable to ignore the pain in her heart. </p><p>Today isn’t a <em> bad </em> day, it’s an <em> honest </em> one. </p><p>And honestly, Toni feels lost. She feels unsure of what she’s supposed to do and uncertain of what the future holds. Will her Grandparents ever speak to her again? Will things get better or has she lost the last of those connected to her by blood? Well, save for her Uncle, but it’s not like she wants anything to do with him. Will Cheryl think this too much to handle and leave her too? Is she destined to know happiness for but a fleeting moment before fate cruelly steps in and rips it away from her?</p><p>She’s lost everything. </p><p>And fuck is she lonely. </p><p>And now she’s lost her Grandparents too. </p><p>And fuck is she alone.</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name, Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Do you even have one anymore to know? </em>
</p><p>God this is all such a mess, and she has absolutely no idea how she’s supposed to deal with any of it, she has no clue how she’s supposed to fix things. </p><p>But the worst part about it, is that she’s not entirely sure things <em> can </em> be fixed. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>Toni knows she’ll never give up her love for Cheryl, and yet she knows unless she does, her Nana will never see her as anything more than a mar on the Topaz name. Well, not that she’s sure she even considers her that much anymore, for Toni knows the second she walked out that door, her Nana clawed her name from her back. </p><p>
  <em> And your crown is broken, isn’t it Toni? </em>
</p><p>She’s just so <em> lost. </em> And she’s been trying to keep her mask in place, she’s been trying so hard to shove her feelings down and pretend that things will work out and that she isn’t completely and utterly <em> heartbroken. </em> She’s trying to hide <em> a lot </em> from Cheryl, not because she doesn’t think her girlfriend wants to know her true feelings or that she wouldn’t be able to handle it, but because Toni knows that Cheryl’s hurt by this too. Toni feels almost guilty, knowing her Nana had shunned their love because of Cheryl’s name, and she knows that information is taking its toll on her.</p><p>
  <em> It’s nothing more than pieces. </em>
</p><p>Toni’s tried to keep everything shoved deep down inside of her since <em> that </em> evening. Attempting to try and seek comfort from her girl where she can, whilst maintaining a brave face and pretend her world isn’t crashing and burning and she’s handling everything a lot better than she actually is. </p><p>But today she finds herself unable to do so. </p><p>And she’s more than aware that the cracks in her facade are splintering. </p><p>
  <em> And how those pieces wound your head. </em>
</p><p>Toni can’t help but admit to the fact that someone could walk into this room, sit down beside her and utter three words and she’d break. </p><p>
  <em> Are you okay? </em>
</p><p>The glass is already cracked, she’s more than aware of that much. </p><p>She’s also starkly conscious that all it would take is for someone to rest their hand upon it and it would shatter into a million tiny pieces because <em> no </em> she isn’t okay and <em> nothing’s okay </em> and it’s <em> all such a mess. </em></p><p>But the thing about glass is that people see through it, they never see the glass itself. They don’t see the cracks, they don’t see the chips and dents. People use it for its transparency, and only when the illusion becomes pieces, only when the clarity is broken and left in fragments on the floor does anyone see the glass for what it is itself. </p><p>God this is all so <em> fucked up. </em></p><p>Lost in her thoughts, Toni doesn’t notice Cheryl appearing in the doorway. She’s been upstairs having some meeting regarding Blossom family business at her Aunt’s request, and the redhead feels her heart warm as she spies Toni curled up on the sofa. </p><p>She clears her throat to make her presence known and watches as it pulls Toni from the trap inside her mind to meet her eyes. Cheryl sends her a smile across the room before she moves to make her way over to her love, but something stops her in her tracks before she even takes a step. </p><p>For Toni smiles back at her weakly, and in that moment Cheryl feels her soul crumble. </p><p>If you were to ever ask Cheryl Blossom her favourite thing about <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz, she’d answer you without a second thought. Toni’s smile. And should you feel the need to ask her to elaborate, Cheryl would tell you that her smile radiates more warmth than the sun and how it’s infectious in the best way possible. She’d ramble about the joy she felt spread across her heart at the sight of the little dimples appearing on Toni’s cheeks, and how the most breathtaking of views wish they could be even half as captivating. Cheryl would inform you how Toni’s smile lights up the building, let alone the room, and how sometimes, when Toni’s really happy she’ll poke her tongue out ever so slightly between her teeth and her nose will wrinkle in the most <em> precious </em> manner. </p><p>Cheryl could spend hours listing you a thousand reasons why she <em> adores </em> Toni’s smile and the sheer warmth it gives her. </p><p>But not this one. </p><p>Looking at Toni’s smile now, Cheryl feels her chest ache, the very bones of her crying out in anguish. </p><p>Because for all the smiles Cheryl has ever seen her give, this is the first one that doesn’t reach Toni’s eyes.</p><p>This is a smile that radiates nothing but hopelessness. </p><p>It’s a smile that’s nothing but harrowed and dripping with agony, complete with a gaze filled with utter heartbreak. </p><p>Toni’s smile holds only torment and sorrow, and Cheryl is helpless to do anything about it.</p><p>There is <em> absolutely nothing </em> she can do to fix this.</p><p>For she’s the reason Toni is broken.</p><p>Well, her name is at least.</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a rose? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in your name Cheryl?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For there’s nothing sweet about it.  </em>
</p><p>Toni drops her gaze to the floor in front of her, the frown she’s been desperately trying to keep at bay making itself known as tears pool in her eyes. </p><p>Cheryl hastily moves to crouch in front of her, concern dripping from her voice as she rests a gentle hand on her girlfriend’s thigh.</p><p>“TT darling, are you okay?”</p><p>The glass <em> shatters. </em></p><p>Within an instant Toni’s heaving with sobs as she shakes her head and presses little balled up fists into her eyes. </p><p>
  <em> “Oh Toni.” </em>
</p><p>Cheryl is on the sofa beside her in seconds, wrapping her arms around her frame and pulling her into her embrace as Toni desperately grips onto her blouse for dear life. Hands reaching for some thread to cling to whilst everything unravels around her.</p><p>If she’s honest, Cheryl’s been wondering when this would come. She’s been aware of Toni’s repressing of her emotions since Prom, watching as she’s retreated into herself throughout the week whilst simultaneously clinging more and more to Cheryl’s side.</p><p>It would seem the moment has arrived.</p><p>And fuck is it heartbreaking to witness.</p><p>And god does it hurt Cheryl’s heart to feel the sheer agony ripping its way through the girl in her arms.</p><p>And oh how it makes her chest ache that there’s nothing she can do apart from this, hold her close and try to reassure her that things will be alright in the end.</p><p>But the thing is, right now, Cheryl worries that she might be lying when she says that. Because right now, feeling how Toni heaves and shakes against her, gripping the material of her blouse in her fists, desperately trying to push herself as close into her chest as physically possible, Cheryl’s not entirely sure that things <em> will </em> be alright. Because what if her Nana doesn’t come around? What if she stays true to her words that a Topaz is forbidden from being with a Blossom? </p><p>What if her Grandparents really have removed themselves from Toni’s life for good? What if things <em> aren’t </em> alright in the end?</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But what if her Nana’s love is gone, Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What then? </em>
</p><p>God, Toni doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve to know such pain.</p><p>One thing that people often comment about Toni is that she’s little. Little in height with little hands and little wrists, little legs and a little waist and little sock clad feet. </p><p>Everything about her is little. </p><p>Except her heart. </p><p>For Toni’s heart is big, exceptionally so.</p><p>Her life has been tarnished in so many ways, and yet somehow the shroud of darkness has never quite reached her heart. No, Toni’s heart is beautifully pure, beating with a, perhaps childish naivety, to seek the good in everything. It’s a heart that just wants love and to <em> be loved </em>, a heart that takes care of everyone else whilst desperately yearning to be taken care of itself. Toni possesses a heart that is, admittedly well protected, and yet desperately willing to give, her love readily available to reward whomever proves themselves worthy enough to deserve it. </p><p>And the thing is, considering all she’s been forced to endure at fate’s cruel hands, Toni could be forgiven if she was a person of cynicism, if she was bitter and closed off. Her past had awarded her that understanding. And yet, Toni <em> radiates </em> love. And it’s not a love confined to the basic meaning, no, it presents itself in intricate ways.</p><p>Perhaps, because her heart is so <em> big, </em> the amount of love she has simply can’t be confined within her. Her soul thrums with the sheer volume attempted to be contained within it, overflowing and spilling out and causing her to be someone who has copious amounts of love to give, even to the seemingly smallest of things. </p><p>Or perhaps it’s more that her desperate yearning to feel love reciprocated back at her that has her searching for the feeling in even the most unlikely of places. Pleading for the rays of a sunset to touch her soul, hoping the scent of a flower will flow through her body and warm it, praying that a moment of joy might be captured by her heart and replayed forever.</p><p>All Toni wants is to be enough, to be enough to give someone her love and receive theirs in return. And yet Cheryl knows all too well that it’s never that simple, for other people have their own thoughts and opinions and needs, and love is often twisted and tarnished by hands not of your own.</p><p>Toni feels Cheryl’s embrace tighten around her, knowing the redhead is desperately trying to give her comfort and sense of security in every way she knows how. Her hands grip onto the red blouse with a ferocity as she buries herself deeper into her.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And yet you’re desperately clinging onto yours, aren't you Toni? </em>
</p><p>Toni cries harder, sobs wracking her frame as she releases the torment coursing through her body and allows herself to fully feel everything she’d been trying to shove into the depths, out of sight, out of mind. </p><p>She’s so unsure about everything, it’s as if she’s stumbling around in the darkness with no path to follow, and no light to guide the way. She’s desperate to get out of this, to fix this and make things right, but this time she’s not entirely sure she <em> can. </em> She’s so used to helping other people, giving advice and finding solutions, or simply being a shoulder to cry on and an empathetic ear, but when it comes to herself, she has no clue how to handle this. </p><p>She gives everything of herself to those in her life, tearing shreds of herself away to dotingly pass them out to others to use to fill their own cracks, but now she’s left with nothing to use to fill her own. </p><p>Toni <em> cares. </em> She sees people, empathises with their pain, understands their misery, and she wants to heal it. She wants to make things better for everyone else around her, because if she can fix the broken pieces of everyone else, maybe she can learn how to fix the broken parts of herself too. But right now, she worries that perhaps she’s just destined to be fractured forever. </p><p>All her life she’s been desperate to find someone to call her own, to meet a soul that bonded with hers, a heart to hold and hands wanting to hold her own. And she’d been terrified that she’d never find them, that the universe’s cruelty knew no limits. </p><p>And then Cheryl Blossom waltzed into her life and became everything she’d been searching for. And yes, Cheryl was as broken as she, but they were there for each other and gave one another the things they’d been desperately searching for. And over time, slowly but surely they fixed each other in the broken places, and they learned how to heal themselves in the process. </p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s given her everything she’s spent her whole life yearning for. And yes okay, Toni’s not going to deny there have been difficult times within their relationship, but they worked things out, they fixed things and got through them. They have a bond, her and Cheryl, and it allows them to see through the brokenness, to clear away the mists of fog still clinging and see beneath the protective shield. It allows them to see each other as them, as exactly who they are, nothing more, nothing less. Their bond is strong, as is their love, and Toni knows that they can get through anything. </p><p>
  <em> What’s in her name? </em>
</p><p>But this, Toni’s not sure what she’s supposed to do about this. She wants to fight to keep her Grandparents in her life, but she refuses to let her relationship with Cheryl be jeopardized. She won’t let her Nana’s grip on the past make her let go of Cheryl. Yes Toni’s more than aware of why her Nana feels the way she does, she knows the Blossom’s are the reason for her family’s downfall, but Toni also knows Cheryl. </p><p>
  <em> What's in her? </em>
</p><p>Toni knows the person Cheryl is, not the name that haunts her. She knows of the goodness within her soul in spite of it being rescued from the claws of evil. She knows the heart inside her, knows she’s not a thorn, she’s a rose doing her hardest to bloom.</p><p>Toni knows her as Cheryl, <em> just Cheryl, </em> and she loves her.</p><p>A soothing hand on her back brings Toni’s mind back into the present, back into the living room of Thistlehouse, back into acknowledgement of how Cheryl’s voice murmurs soothing reassurances into her ear and her arms hold her body protectively into her own. </p><p>Back into the reality of how messed up everything is.</p><p>Cheryl’s voice is soft but there’s also a slight edge of pleading within it, as if she’s desperate for Toni to let her in fully, begging with her to allow her to see her hurt in its rawness and allow her to help. “Oh TT my sweet girl, talk to me, please. Tell me what ails you so I can make it better. I know you’re in so much pain my love, and I know that everything that’s going on is taking a bigger toll on you than you’re willing to admit, but please my precious girl, let me in so I can help.”</p><p>As Cheryl tightens her embrace in a reminder that she’s safe, a particularly harsh sob rips through Toni’s chest and all she can do is think about why she’s in this situation in the first place. All she can hear are her Nana’s words ricocheting around her head, sneered by the demons residing in the darkest parts of her mind. All she can think of is how her Grandparents want nothing more to do with her, and now she’s lost everything and is left well and truly alone. </p><p>But then again, as she claws her mind once again back to the present, Toni pleads with the demons in her head to acknowledge that that’s not true.</p><p>Because she isn’t <em> alone.  </em></p><p>She hasn’t lost <em> everything. </em></p><p>Because Cheryl is here. </p><p>And Cheryl sees the cracks.</p><p>And she wants to fix them. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits Toni.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And it seems Cheryl Blossom's love has no limits at all.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl, whose voice is velvety soft, her touch tender and loving, her lips gentle and calming, her embrace warm and caring. Cheryl, who hasn’t left her, who’s right here desperate to help in any way she can, pleading to let her in so she can help shoulder the burden of Toni’s pain.</p><p>Toni manages to cease her cries for long enough to whimper a pained, “m-my Grandparents C-Cher. It’s n-not fair, s-she made me c-chose but t-they’re so w-wrong about y-you,” before she’s sobbing harder and burying her head even further into the redhead’s neck in a desperate attempt to cling to every shred of comfort she can find.</p><p>The sigh that leaves Cheryl’s mouth is sorrowful, “oh baby, I’m so sorry.” She cradles Toni into her chest and allows the smaller girl to release the emotions that have pent up over the past week. “I know it hurts my beloved, let it out, good girl there you go, let it all out sweet girl.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s heart pangs as Toni cries and she feels tears of her own spill down her cheeks at the utterly heart wrenching sight before her. </p><p>They stay like that for a while, the smaller girl cradled in her arms as she cries. Neither knows how long passes, but then again, neither care. All they care about is being there, together. Their focus concentrated on seeking and giving comfort through their embrace, sending reminders of love through soft lips pressed to pink locks, reassurance murmured with a soft voice. </p><p>
  <em> Better help her pick up the pieces, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>Eventually Toni’s cries calm to sniffles but both are more than aware that she’s too exhausted, too hopeless to even try and from the words to explain the emotions swirling within her. Cheryl lifts her hand to cup the back of Toni’s head as she nuzzles into the space between her shoulder and neck whilst pressing kisses to her head as she speaks. “TT darling, I know you’re in so much pain right now, and I’m so sorry my love, I wish I could take it all away from you, but I’m right here baby, I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get you through this.”</p><p>
  <em> Better help her put those pieces back together, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>Toni only offers a muffled sniffle in response, but Cheryl continues, knowing that her girlfriend desperately needs reassurance. “I know it’s so harrowing for you right now ma cheriè, but you’re so strong TT. You can get through anything and it doesn’t make the hurt any less painful I know, but Toni my love, I promise you, we will get you through this, it won’t hurt like this forever okay? And I’ll be right here every step of the way.”</p><p>
  <em> Better help her put the crown back on her head, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>The room is quiet save for a few shaky breaths from the girl in her arms, but eventually Toni nods and the redhead feels soft lips pressing against her neck in quiet gratitude. </p><p>After allowing Toni to rest against her for a few moments more, Cheryl cups her cheek and wipes away her tears with the pad of her thumb, concerned brown orbs blinking away their own tears of empathy for her girlfriend’s pain. </p><p>Leaning down to connect her eyes with Toni’s own, the taller girl speaks in a voice so certain, so assured, that Toni gasps from the definitiveness of it. “You can do this TT, I know you can, <em> I promise you </em> that you can. I love you so much and I swear to you that we are going to get you through this.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>Toni whimpers a teary, “okay, I love you too,” before pressing her lips to Cheryl’s own in a kiss so delicate, so tender, it has Cheryl’s heart pounding from the vulnerability of it. </p><p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>They sit together for a while, relishing in the comfort and security found within the embrace. Toni’s eyes flutter shut as her exhaustion coupled with the soothing lull of Cheryl’s fingers trailing through her hair sends her into slumber. Cheryl continues her caresses long after she’s asleep, looking down at the girl in her arms and hoping that this too shall pass, that things will get better and time will begin to help her love heal.</p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>She knows her love for Toni knows no bounds, knows there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her, no storm they cannot weather, no battle they cannot conquer. Her love for Toni is not one that can be overcome by any obstacle, for it is her love that will prevail over whatever tries to stand in its way, even that of kin or love of a different kind. </p><p>Cheryl loves Toni, is <em> in </em> love with her, this creature of joy and goodness and light. This being of enamour and adoration. This person of sheer utter perfection. Cheryl loves her, she always will, with every ounce of her soul, and nothing on this earth in this lifetime or the next, will ever cease how ardently so. </p><p>------------------</p><p>Later that night finds Cheryl once again unable to sleep as Toni slumbers against her chest, wrapped within silken sheets. She just can’t escape the throb in her chest at the knowledge that were it not for her name, her family, Toni wouldn’t be in this situation. Were it not for the Blossom name dripping in sin and cruelty, Toni’s love wouldn’t be shunned by the only blood family she has left. </p><p>Were it not for loving her, Toni wouldn’t be losing the love of another.</p><p>And it hurts her so, because there’s nothing she can do about any of it other than be there for the girl that owns her heart and hope that time will help to heal her. Cheryl wants to fix things, she can see Toni’s pain and she wants to take it away, wants to heal her cracks and pick up the pieces left shattered by her Nana. But she can’t, and it’s killing her.</p><p>There’s nothing she can do to change what happened, nothing she can do to reverse her ancestor’s actions and bring back the murdered Uktena. She can’t take Toni’s Grandparents hands in her own and release their grip on the wrongdoings of the past. She can’t go and speak to them, god knows even the sight of her knocking on their door would stoke the fires of their resentment and hate. </p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nothing of any good in yours is there Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But maybe, there could be. </em>
</p><p>Toni is hurting. Her heart is shrouded in crippling anguish, radiating agony in such a manner that Cheryl feels the ripples lashing against her own. The girl in her arms should know only joy and love and not of the hardship and suffering the universe seems intent on relentlessly dragging her through. Toni is pure and kind and <em> good </em> and for her to know such affliction is a sorrow upon life itself.</p><p>And for Cheryl to not to be able to do anything about it, well, it’s wrong and she simply won’t accept it.</p><p>
  <em> What's in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Cheryl’s not entirely sure. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But she does know she’s going to do whatever she can to better hers. </em>
</p><p>There may be absolutely nothing she can do to fix this, but she’s Cheryl Blossom damnit, and she simply can’t accept that. She can’t accept that the love of her life is in pain and she’s helpless to put a stop to it.</p><p>So yes, there may not be any way for her to fix this, for her to bring Toni’s Grandparents back into her life, and any move she makes might make things worse, but it’s a risk she simply has to take.</p><p>And besides, things are already broken, <em> Toni </em> is already broken.</p><p>She’ll be damned if she doesn’t at least <em> try. </em> </p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And maybe this is a chance for the rose to blossom. </em>
</p><p>Yes she can’t exactly go and speak to Toni’s Grandparents herself for she’s not naive enough to think seeing her in the flesh and a Blossom on their land wouldn’t make matters worse. But that doesn’t mean her pleads for them to reconsider losing Toni can’t reach them another way. Because that’s the thing isn’t it, Cheryl no longer cares about their opinion of her. Well, no, in truth she <em> does, </em> she just acknowledges that there’s something far more important, far more valuable at stake. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.  </em>
</p><p>Her family name is the reason for the pain in the Topaz’s hearts, she’ll be damned if she allows her name to be the reason for pain in Toni’s.</p><p>
  <em> And Toni’s is broken, perhaps beyond repair.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl knows that, however indirectly, her name is the cause for this. The Blossom name, dripping in sin and wickedness, has splashed its curse on the girl her heart sees as home, and yes okay this might not work, and yes okay Toni’s Nana might hate her more for this, but fuck it she has to <em> try.  </em></p><p>
  <em> But you have to attempt to put it back together anyway, Cheryl.  </em>
</p><p>She slides out of bed carefully, Toni’s little hand reaching out towards her residual warm spot with a whimper, searching for her even in her sleep, the second her feet touch the floor. Seeing her love’s growing agitation, Cheryl gently maneuvers her pillow to lay lengthways and encourages Toni to cuddle into it, hoping it will suffice as her replacement until she can hold her in her arms again. After a moment of pale fingers caressing her skin Toni inhales deeply, taking in the redhead’s scent, and nestles into the silky red material so Cheryl presses a kiss to her temple before padding over to their desk.</p><p>Easing herself into the chair, she reaches for her parchment and pen before sighing. She knows this has to be done carefully, one wrong word and she’ll cause more harm than hopeful good. One misstep and Toni will tumble from the tightrope she’s so precariously clinging to. </p><p>Her eyes lift to gaze out the window and over the garden, taking in how the moonlight illuminates everything with a soft glow. Moments tick by as Cheryl thinks and rethinks how to word what she wants, what she <em> needs, </em> to say. God this is difficult, how is she supposed to pen her truest and most sincere words of emploring Toni’s Nana to reconsider exhiling her Grandaughter, when she knows it’s her name that’s the reason for all this?</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl, don’t let them hold out your love. </em>
</p><p>She breathes a quiet sigh before casting her eyes over to Toni’s sleeping figure, curled around her pillow, clinging to it as her chest rises and falls delicately. </p><p>Cheryl isn’t doing this for herself, no, she’s doing it for <em> her. </em> </p><p>For the sleeping angel gifted to her by some deity from above for her to earn the worthiness to love. She’s doing this for the girl who deserves to know nothing but joy and happiness, kindness and compassion. Cheryl’s doing this to try and create some shred of reprieve for the suffering and torment hurled at the girl who owns her heart. </p><p>Cheryl’s doing this to try and fix yet another shred of happiness broken by the name purred in a condemning whisper from the very lungs of Lucifer himself. </p><p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>She’s doing this for Toni, to try and fix things for her, to make things better for her. </p><p>Cheryl’s doing this for the girl she’s in love with. To right the wrong cast against her through no fault of her own. To set things right and hope against hope that somehow her love for Toni is enough to break through the hatred against her and restore the family bond that should have never been broken. </p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>Pen meets paper and Cheryl begins to pour every inch of her heart, every shred of her soul into her words, hoping they'll carry with them the sheer sincerity of her meaning and desperation to make things right. </p><p>
  <em> Dear Mr and Mrs Topaz... </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Cheryl’s still not entirely sure.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She just hopes that her words are enough to give Toni back hers. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed, let me know your thoughts!</p><p>Pt 6 im hoping to have wiht you either Tuesday or Thursday but my brain is being a little shit and not wanting to focus or think, so I'll give it to you when I have it myself!</p><p>Luce :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. And what love can do, that dares love attempt.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey hey hey,</p><p>Okay I know it's been a little while but I've been dealing with a lot, A LOT in life and so not only has it taken my time, it's also taken a lot of my energy and mental capacity - you're not up to much when you feel like shit!</p><p>Please don't hate me for the fact this fic is taking longer than orginally promised. You want it done as much as I!</p><p>As always comments and the like make Nigel and my heart happy and give me motivation, so that would be nice if you wanted to leave any!</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p><p>Luce :D</p><p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s Friday afternoon and Cheryl is stuck in English, staring at the clock and willing the seconds to tick by faster. She’s desperate for this class to be over with so she can go home and begin the weekend with Toni, both of them deciding to spend it wrapped in each other's presence. Time spent just them and only them, giving and taking strength and love from one another and vitalizing their bond.</p><p>Looking down to her empty notebook, Cheryl realises she’s supposed to be copying down the notes on the board and has yet to even pick up her pen. Although, it’s not like it matters, finals are done now and they graduate in a matter of weeks, classes are practically redundant and everyone knows it. </p><p>She’s been unable to focus all week, her mind uncaring about math or biology, and concentrating instead on the fractures of Toni’s heart. It’s been six days since she wrote her letter to Toni’s Grandparents, three since she plucked up the nerve to actually deliver it. Well, more like asked Fangs to post it through the Topaz’s door - not wanting to mail it, yet not being naive, or brave, enough to do it herself. </p><p>Whilst Toni seems to be slowly fairing better since Saturday night, speaking to her more and being more open about her feelings, Cheryl’s spiraling into her nerves. If her girlfriend has sensed anything she hasn’t said as such, but the redhead has been unable to prevent the countless scenarios running through her mind of all the possibilities of what may happen now. Would Toni’s Nana take one look at the scorned name embossed onto the page and ignore it? Would she send one back in response? Would she contact Toni with a few choice words for Cheryl and the name that haunts her? Would she maybe contact her Granddaughter with a more open mind? Would she simply send some Serpents banging on Thistlehouse’s door to show Cheryl exactly what she thought of her and her name?</p><p>She almost wishes she hadn’t sent it.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>Almost.</p><p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt? </em>
</p><p>Because she thinks of Toni, of the girl that claims her heart, of the torment she’s been suffering. She thinks of how this soul of light and joy has been shrouded in sorrow and affliction, how this girl has been shunned from the last of her kin simply for loving someone of a condemned name.</p><p>For loving <em> her. </em></p><p>She thinks of Toni, and any second guessing dissipates, for she knows she had to do it, knows she had to try.</p><p>
  <b> <em>For Toni.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>She had to do this for the girl she loves, to put things right, or at least attempt to. Cheryl could no longer bear witness to the pain radiating from Toni’s very bones and not <em> try. </em> </p><p>But <em> god </em> does she worry, about the outcome, about Toni’s Grandparent’s reaction, about Toni herself. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head, after all. </em>
</p><p>The bell ringing pulls Cheryl from her thoughts and she hastily collects her things before heading to Toni’s locker via her own. The pink haired girl is already sorting her things by the time she gets there and is startled when pale arms wrap around her waist. As soon as she releases who it is, Toni relaxes and allows herself to be pulled backwards in her girlfriend’s embrace, feeling warmth spread through her as her back becomes flush with Chery’s chest. </p><p>Smiling, Toni cranes her neck to lean up and press a kiss to the underside of her girlfriend’s jaw, “hey you.”</p><p>The redhead feels her lips twitch upwards,“hello yourself my sweet, are you ready to go?”</p><p>Toni simply nods and Cheryl releases her hold, allowing the smaller girl to finish packing her things and close the locker door. </p><p>They make their way down the hallway, Toni’s hand slipping into the grasp of her own almost instinctively as she rambles on about how Sweet Pea somehow managed to nearly set fire to the Chemistry lab. </p><p>Cheryl can’t help but smile as she feels her love for the girl beside her thrum. How she adores Toni, <em> ardently so. </em> The way her voice rasps, how her eyelashes flutter delicately when she blinks, how her nose crinkles amidst a particularly humoured chuckle, how her dimples reveal themselves when she smiles, the way her plump lip surrenders to the teeth gripping it as the smaller girl stares up at her with eyes filled with nothing but warmth. </p><p>Gosh this girl is sheer, utter <em> perfection. </em> </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But maybe you can show her she doesn’t need one, Cheryl.  </em>
</p><p>“Cher?” Toni’s looking at her expectantly, clearly awaiting her response on Sweet Pea’s inability to read labels before he over-mixes chemicals, but Cheryl simply shakes her head amusedly and squeezes the small hand encased by her own. </p><p>“I just love you TT, so very much.”</p><p>
  <em> If your name’s a thorn, she’s the most perfect of petals.  </em>
</p><p>The blush that blooms across Toni’s cheeks matches that of her hair, and Cheryl feels her heart flutter at the <em> adorableness </em> of the sight before her. Toni smiles up at her, that special one reserved only for her, “I love you too Cher, with all my heart.”</p><p><em> And isn’t she just the </em> <b> <em>sweetest?</em> </b></p><p>They head down the school’s front steps and over to Cheryl’s Impala, waving at Veronica as they go. The brunette had confided in them about Archie and Betty’s infidelity, one that was <em> absolutely not </em> part of a preplanned scheme, and ever since both Cheryl and Toni have been keeping an careful eye on her. Their friend told them of her and Archie’s decision to keep it from Betty and Jughead and pretend that all is well between them, although neither girl understood quite <em> why </em> she’d put herself through that much pain. Alas, nonetheless, both girls respected her decision and offered their support should she want to speak about it. </p><p>Once at Cheryl’s car, they get in and Toni fiddles with the radio whilst Cheryl starts the engine and heads out of the parking lot, speeding towards their home. </p><p>—————-</p><p>They spend the rest of the afternoon and early evening relaxing and catching up on some crime documentary Toni had been desperate to watch. Admittedly, Cheryl’s not paying much attention to it, her focus instead on the girl beside her.</p><p>Her mind hones in on the feel of their bodies pressed against each other as they cuddle impossibly close on the sofa, sharing delicate touches and fleeting kisses without even thinking of it. Sharing their love and displays of affection are second nature to them, their hands drawn to the other’s skin like magnets, their lips finding one anothers almost intrinsically. </p><p>In spite of it all, everything with Toni’s Grandparents, her own resurfacing pain regarding the suffering endured at the hands of her parents and her name, the looming of college, their futures and the unknown, <em> right now, </em> Cheryl feels content. </p><p>Feels <em> peace. </em> </p><p>In this moment of quiet, of being curled warmly together under a soft blanket, of hands brushing over soft skin, of gentle kisses sporadically pressed chastely against cheeks, and temples, and shoulders, and lips, everything else melts away. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out.  </em>
</p><p>As the smaller girl gasps loudly at the documentary's latest revelation, Cheryl can’t help the way her lips twitch upwards in enamour of the girl beside her. </p><p>Toni turns to look up at her, lips still parted around her soft elicitation of shock, eyes wide and questioning as to whether the redhead shares her sentiments, and Cheryl can’t help but think of how <em> wholly infatuated </em> she is with this utterly perfect human being. </p><p>Her eyes drift unashamedly over the girl before her, drinking in each and every freckle, every lash, every detail of the beauty held within her face.</p><p>Eyebrows manicured flawlessly, each hair sloping to a perfect cadence. Rich brown eyes oozing with expression. Long, delicate eyelashes fluttering with each beat. Sublime skin so soft and calling out to be caressed <em> oh so tenderly. </em> Freckles staccatoed over cheekbones. Decadently plump lips made to be caressed by her own. A jawline chiseled by the gods themselves. A throat encasing a melodious laugh and a voice with a timbre so warm and raspy with undertones of pure comfort and <em> god how she could listen to it forever.  </em></p><p>All these features come together in perfect harmony to create the magnificent rhapsody that is Toni Topaz. This being of such elegantly divine composition, so faultless in its creation even the esteemed works of masters of the ilk as Mozart and Beethoven fail to be held in comparison. </p><p>And somehow, <em> she </em> is the one deemed worthy enough to bestow her gaze upon the symphony created with each breath, each blink, each thud of the heart belonging to this perfect masterpiece before her. </p><p>The heart laid willingly and gladly within Cheryl’s own palms. </p><p>She ponders that if music be the food of love, Toni is it’s muse. </p><p>And <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz is a song that she wishes to hear forever. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But Toni’s royalty to you even without one, isn’t she Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Wide eyes soften as they blink in understanding that the redhead before them hasn’t been paying even the slightest attention to the documentary. A smile finds its way onto the pillowy lips Cheryl had been raking her eyes over only moments before as tanned fingers run teasingly over the skin of a thigh peeking out from under the blanket. </p><p>“Whatcha looking at Cher?” Her voice is jesting, for they are both more than aware of the answer. </p><p>Cheryl doesn’t hesitate in her reply, her voice quiet but definitive, she’s unashamed in being caught in her infatuation. </p><p>“You.”</p><p>
  <em> Her. </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Toni. </em> </b>
</p><p>Toni, this being of pure utter <em> perfection.  </em></p><p>Toni, who is dragging herself across the palms of Lucifer his very self purely to keep Cheryl in her life. </p><p>Toni, who has allowed her crown of gemstones to be usurped from her pretty little head, leaving it adorned only by the sharpest of thorns. </p><p>Toni, who’s done it all for her. </p><p>For <em> them. </em></p><p>
  <b> <em>For their love. </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl.  </em>
</p><p>Oh how Cheryl loves her. How she is completely and totally enchanted with this entity of sheer light. How she wishes to spend the rest of her days bestowing cherry red lips upon her soft skin, feasting her eyes upon the utter beauty beholden by this being of divinity and grace, caressing her pale fingers over perfect skin and leaving shivers in their wake as she re-commits every part of her body to memory over and over.</p><p>She is completely and <em> irrevocably </em> captivated by her, fallen to the furthest depths of Aphrodite’s well, awash with adoration and enamour for this perfect little human before her. </p><p>Cheryl Blossom is utterly, <em> utterly </em>in love with <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz. </p><p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt.  </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Let there be no doubt.</em> </b>
</p><p><em> “You </em>Toni Topaz, for your beauty is a sight my eyes have found themselves unwilling to tear away from since the moment their gaze fell upon you. I’m looking at you, as I wish to do so for the rest of my life.” </p><p>The gasp that leaves Toni’s mouth is quiet, nothing akin to the one portraying her shock before. No, this gasp, the widening of brown orbs, they do so in realisation of the sheer sincerity written across Cheryl’s face. </p><p>As her words hit home, the redhead smiles at the pink blossoming across freckled cheeks and the way plump lips quirk bashfully. It’s safe to say the girl before her is still not yet used to her blatant lavishments of affection, even after all this time, and this one has her practically blushing into oblivion. </p><p>“C-Cher, I-“ Toni trails off, unsure with quite what to say in response. Her eyes trail over Cheryl’s face before she’s leaning forward and placing a kiss most delicate in nature upon a pale cheek and pulling back so slightly the redhead can feel lips grazing over her cheek as Toni speaks, “I love you, Cheryl Blossom.”</p><p>It’s an act seemingly so small, and yet it has Cheryl’s heart stammering within her chest. The tenderness in which Toni’s lips press against her skin. The kiss conveying a thousand words in the smallest of actions. The sincerity dripping from Toni’s voice as she murmurs the words that make her soul thrum, fueling the fires of her very being, words she will never tire from hearing spoken from her love’s mouth. To an outsider it would appear to be nothing more than a fleeting kiss and whispered words of affection, but to them, god it’s so much <em> more. </em></p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But there’s no unease to be found here. </em>
</p><p>It’s instances like this that make Cheryl wish she had the ability to physically capture a moment. To somehow garner and store it amongst a collection of others, ready at her beck and call to be replayed over and over before her eager eyes. Hers to cherish and pour over for the rest of time.</p><p>As much as she wishes though, capturing a moment is not a power she has, and so Cheryl resigns herself to urge her mind to simply remember. To take a snapshot of her emotions, the feeling of Toni’s lips against her skin, the warmth of her breath upon her cheek as she speaks and store it instead inside her heart and mind. To keep the sentiment of this moment kept safe, ready to be reminisced upon at her heart’s desire.</p><p>A smile breaks out across Cheryl’s face as the happiness within her chest desires to make itself known to the girl before her. “I love you too <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz, with every ounce of my soul.” She turns her head to press a kiss of her own against Toni’s forehead, closing her eyes and allowing her lips to linger. </p><p>
  <em> No, there’s no unease here. </em>
</p><p><em> Only stability. And </em> <b> <em>love.</em> </b></p><p>
  <em> Stony limits, after all. </em>
</p><p>The documentary, lain forgotten about, brings itself back to their attention as the credits begin to play loudly. The redhead pulls her lips back from their place upon Toni’s skin in order to allow the smaller girl to grab the remote and press pause just in time to prevent the next episode from playing. </p><p>Toni shifts beside her, twisting around in order to relieve the pressure of being curled up for over an hour, eliciting a satisfying click from her spine. Cheryl can’t help but wrinkle her nose in disgust, “TT, you know I hate it when you do that.”</p><p>The pink haired girl simply laughs and turns back in order to face her girlfriend, bopping her nose with her finger and smiling as the wrinkles disappear and instead a smile forms at her action. “I know Cher, but I have to do it or it’s uncomfortable, and before you say anything, <em> no </em> it won’t give me arthritis, <em> that’s a myth.” </em></p><p>The taller girl chuckles at Toni’s antics, following her with her eyes as she rises from the sofa. “I’m gonna go take a shower I think, I feel like I have the remnants of Sweet Pea’s attempt at blowing up the Chem lab on me.” </p><p>Cheryl snorts, the image of their friend spluttering whilst his ‘experiment’ bubbles and smokes filling her head. “Of course ma chérie, in the meantime why don’t I begin dinner preparations and rewind this so you can watch what you missed once you’re finished?”</p><p>Toni leans down to press a gentle kiss against her lips, humming appreciatively as she does. Pulling back ever so slightly, she reaches up to tuck an errant strand of red behind a pale ear and cups Cheryl’s cheek. “You,” another peck, “are too good to me Cher.”</p><p>This time, it’s Cheryl who captures Toni’s lips with her own. She pulls back and presses another one fleetingly to the tip of her nose, “I do believe it’s you who is too good to me my darling girl. Now go shower and I’ll rewind this and start dinner.” </p><p>Toni can’t resist stealing a final kiss before stepping backwards and making her way towards the hallway, laughing when Cheryl lands a playful slap on her butt as she goes. </p><p>
  <em> A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And yet even a garden in bloom fails to equate to her, doesn’t it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Knowing Toni likes to take her time in the shower, her appreciation for the never ending supply of hot water unwavering even after all this time, Cheryl allows herself to dawdle. She rewinds the documentary until she reaches a point she vaguely remembers and pauses it ready for Toni to watch once she’s finished. Picking her phone up from the table beside the sofa, Cheryl decides to allow herself a moment to check her social media before she makes dinner. </p><p>She’s halfway through commenting on a, rather tasteful, image of Pop’s interior that Veronica posted a few minutes prior, when three thuds echo throughout the room. Initially Cheryl pays it no mind, knowing of her love’s clumsiness and so puts it down to the high probability that Toni’s simply knocked something over, or tripped over herself. She debates sending her a text to check on her, but refrains and goes back to finishing and posting her comment.</p><p>Three more thuds sound out.</p><p>No, not thuds. </p><p>
  <em> Knocks. </em>
</p><p>Knocks coming from the result of a fist against the front door.</p><p>Checking the time on her phone and seeing the numbers <em> 9:26pm </em> glaring back at her, Cheryl frowns. They hadn’t invited anyone over and it was rather late for any of their friends to simply drop by, even if it was a Friday. As she uncurls herself from her ball of warmth beneath the blanket, her mind briefly wonders of the possibility that it might indeed be one of their friends and they may be in need, but then again Veronica is at Pop’s and she knows there’s no Serpent business tonight.</p><p>Cheryl sighs as her sock clad feet make contact with the soft rug on the floor and smiles when her back clicks as she rises, her mind flitting to her chastising of her love as she’d forced hers to do the same earlier. </p><p>The young Blossom tucks her phone into her pocket and makes her way to the front door, her smile unwavering as she thinks of the way Toni’s lips had pressed so delicately against her cheek and her words had fluttered through her ear and nestled themselves within the fibres of her heart. As she reaches the hallway, Cheryl chuckles as she hears Toni’s voice faintly drifting down the stairs. Her girlfriend always sang loudly in the shower and gosh was she thankful for it, finding herself never quite being able to get used to just how beautiful her voice is.</p><p>Her heart thrums warmly as she’s reminded of how this being of sheer perfection makes even things as seemingly small as singing in the shower a display of divinity. How this pure, beautiful soul has chosen her own to belong to, even in spite of the thorns surrounding it. <em> No, not in spite of, </em> for as she reaches for the door handle, Cheryl acknowledges that Toni had chosen her <em> because of </em> them. Because she was aware of what lay beneath them.</p><p>Toni saw a soul worth saving, worth<em> releasing </em> from the confines of its isolated prison.</p><p>Toni saw a soul worth creating happiness with, creating a world with, <em> a life with. </em></p><p>She could see the rose desperately trying to bloom.</p><p>But as she opens the door, Cheryl’s heart plummets. She can practically feel the lashings of whispers clawing up through the floorboards, carried by the river styx, calling her name, beckoning her back down to the depths. The happiness and contentedness warming through her chest at this world of comfort and peace she and Toni have created for themselves dissipates, replaced instead with a feeling of sheer, <em> utter </em> dread.</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head. </em>
</p><p>For there, on the other side of the threshold, stands the person who’d caused it all to come crashing down.</p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>Toni’s Nana.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed, and fingers corossed I see you this weekened with the last chap!</p><p>Also lol I didn't really edit that as thoroughly as ususal, so any mistakes are my own and all I can say is oops!</p><p>Peace out</p><p>Luce :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Is love a tender thing?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello hello :D</p><p>It's been a little while I know, sorry my mental health has been saying no, so it's taken a while to actually write anything but hey here I am!</p><p>Theres some TW's in here which are as follows:</p><p>Mention of abuse (physical and verbal), mention of death (minor character)</p><p>Honestly I don't know when the next part will be out because it's very Lucy's brain dependant, and if you've been reading my stuff for a while you'll know updates happen when they happen, but I'm gonna give an optamistic estimate for the weekend :)</p><p>As always comments and the like make Nigel smile and my heart happy!</p><p>Hope you enjoy,</p><p>Luce :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>She blinks. Once. Twice. Thrice. </p><p>And yet the figure of Toni’s Nana before her doesn’t disappear, doesn’t even waver. </p><p>Cheryl swallows down the nauseating dread that’s bubbling within her, shoving it as far into the pits of herself as she’s able. Because this isn’t a dream or figment of her imagination, this isn’t some cruel trick played by the demons in her mind, giving animation to her worries and fears. No, this is very much reality. </p><p>Toni’s Nana is <em> here.  </em></p><p>Toni’s Nana is standing before the estate built from the exploitation and murder of her kin. The estate belonging to the name she’d vowed to personally see to it that it never rises from the hellish damnation brought upon itself centuries ago. </p><p>Toni’s Nana is standing before her, hands clasped, brow furrowed, eyes containing nothing but unease and resentment. </p><p>Toni’s Nana is standing before the very girl she forbade her Granddaughter to love. The girl bearing the name that haunts her. The girl Toni chose. </p><p>The girl Toni's <em> heart </em> chose. </p><p>
  <em> Over her. </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Fuck.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And before you stands the woman who ripped Toni’s from her very head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Because of you, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>Of the thousands of dollars and countless hours spent on lessons of etiquette and proper behaviour, of the endless chastisations and constant cruel reinforcement from her Mother, right now, in this moment, all of it’s rendered void.</p><p>For in this moment, gone are the teachings of greeting guests in the proper manner, forgotten are the lessons of welcoming guests into the home correctly. Instead, Cheryl is rendered nothing more than a speechless shell, carried only by the stammering heart thumping behind its ribbed enclosure, hearing only adrenaline and blood rushing through her ears. </p><p>“I, uhh, Mrs Topaz…” She trails off, uncertain how to proceed, uncertain as to why the elder Topaz is here, uncertain as to what is about to unfold. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>“May I come in?” Her voice is neutral and Cheryl finds herself unnerved by it. She’s unable to get a read on the woman before her and she doesn’t like it. That look of indifference reminds her of her Mother, reminds her of the way she’d look down upon her, hollow and devoid of any actual emotion. It reminds Cheryl of someone she’d much rather forget and <em> fuck </em> she can’t even think properly because <em> why is she here? </em> </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy sounds about right, doesn’t it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Is she here to berate Cheryl for daring to have the audacity to contact her? Has she come to halt all attempts of her efforts to set things back on path? Is she here to personally row her down the river Styx and back into Hades grasp within the underworld from which she came? Is she here to confirm the addition of Toni’s name, <em> or rather lack of one, </em> to her list of those sneered into the abyss of cursed damnation?</p><p>
  <em> Oh god, Toni. </em>
</p><p>She’s just beginning to remove the bandage from around her heart and Cheryl fears that it won’t withstand any more damage. The tattered pieces of it are still bonding back together, its crumpled remains currently held with stitches of Cheryl’s comfort and whispered promises that she can get through this.</p><p>But this? </p><p>Cheryl’s not entirely sure that Toni has any more energy left in her to deal with another blow, let alone fight should she be required to. They’re both barely managing to pull her through her pain as it is. Cheryl knows that any further berration of her love or word of her outlaw will be the final nail on the familial coffin currently holding Toni’s shredded heart. </p><p>A brow raising on the face before her pulls Cheryl from her panicked thoughts. “My apologies, but Toni’s actually in the shower at the moment so, um...” She falters, not wanting to turn the older woman away and induce more scorn upon herself, but not exactly loving the idea of being alone with her either.</p><p>“That’s okay, if it’s alright with you I don’t mind waiting?” </p><p>
  <b> <em>Fuck.</em> </b>
</p><p>“Oh uhh no, not at all, please come in, I would say she won’t be long but, Toni and her showers…” She trails off, <em> god get a grip of yourself, you’re Cheryl fucking Blossom for Christ’s sake. </em> </p><p>
  <em> But then again that’s the problem isn’t it Cheryl?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘What’s in a name’ after all.  </em>
</p><p>She steps aside in order to allow Toni’s Nana into the foyer, inhaling a shaky breath as the elder Topaz passes her and casts her eyes around. Cheryl’s nerves have increased tenfold since opening the door, waves of apprehension crashing over her and daring to drag her under the masquerade of the calm surface she’s trying to project. </p><p>As she clicks the door shut, Cheryl releases a silent prayer in the form of a silent sigh, hoping desperately that the ruins surrounding Toni weren’t about to be crushed into dust and eradicated into oblivion.</p><p>
  <em> Stony limits Cheryl, they can’t hold love out, but what about pain? </em>
</p><p>As she turns away from the door, Cheryl opens her mouth to offer for them to wait in the living room, however the words spoken are not her own. “You have a lovely home.”</p><p>She’s more than aware that the comment holds no meaning other than a resenting bitterness of the knowledge as to with what fortune said house was built. It’s nothing more than a jab covered in the colloquial pretense of ’small talk’.</p><p>No matter, Cheryl’s more than aware that whatever is about to take place will not be simple nor easy, and is perfectly capable of dealing with backhanded comments. They were, after all, the very thing her parents raised her on. She allows the elder Topaz’s words to roll off her back, paying them no mind and refusing to let their inference get to her.</p><p>And yet one word refuses to be brushed away, desperate to make itself known, clinging to her shoulder and whispering in her ear. </p><p>
  <em> Home.  </em>
</p><p>In a way, it still feels strange for Cheryl to hear that word and know now she has one; because she knows this is what this house is now. It’s become something it never felt possible to be before, something she’d always dreamt of having but was always terrified it was to be nothing more than an elusive hope she would never know the reality of.</p><p>Yes Thornhill and Thistlehouse were the places of her upbringing, the estates in which she was raised, and yes they were overflowing with luxurious grandeur and decadence, but they were never <em> home. </em> They were simply houses she resided in and spent her days between, rooms within which she passed her time, places in which she laid her head and a door beholden with a plaque reading her name so a young Cheryl wouldn’t get lost and forget her place. </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Except these ones used to, didn't they Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>But these buildings were never considered <em> home. </em> They were nothing more than bricks and mortar, value only of materialistic nature and none of sentiment or emotional attachment. Stony walls crawling with secrets, a fog of acidic toxicity hanging heavily in the air and clinging to every surface, seeping into every crack, filling every nook. They were buildings housing cruelty and harm. The very essences of them empty and cold, awash with a daunting hauntedness that distressed the soul of anyone stepping foot past the facaded threshold.</p><p>
  <em> Although it’s not that stony walls held love out is it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> More like there was no love to be had in the first place.  </em>
</p><p>Home. </p><p>It’s something Cheryl had longed for but thought herself destined to never know. Something that changed the second a pink haired Serpent placed a delicate hand on a stranger’s arm in the girl‘s restroom during a time of need. Something this building hadn’t felt like until Toni’s presence touched it, until the light within her soul began to make its mark and clear away the darkness and fog. Something <em> she </em> hadn’t known the feeling of until rich brown orbs met her own, until a small hand slipped into hers, until a heart of the purest intent, radiating love and joy and <em> good, </em> began to beat in syncopation with her own. </p><p>This house was not a home, and then Toni came along and made it one.</p><p>Her heart didn’t have a home, until Toni reached out her hands and gave it one.</p><p>
  <em> And what can love do that love dares attempt?  </em>
</p><p>Toni made Thistlehouse a home, whilst also allowing herself to become a sanctuary for Cheryl’s tattered heart. </p><p>
  <em> And Toni’s love is perhaps the strongest of them all, isn’t it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>The redhead tries to keep her voice as neutral as the expression written on the face before her. “Thank you, that’s kind of you to say.” </p><p>Toni’s Nana raises a single brow, “and <span>Antoinette</span> is comfortable here?”</p><p>The question has her blindsided for a moment.</p><p><em> Is Toni comfortable here? </em> </p><p>As much as Cheryl would like to confirm, can she be certain? After all they’ve endured, after the events within this house, can she be sure she can give a definitive answer?</p><p>But then Cheryl thinks to days spent curled impossibly close on the sofa, giggling and watching television or movies. She thinks of mornings having breakfast together laughing over how many chocolate chips Toni attempts to fit into the pancake mix, of evenings listening to her beautiful voice mingling with the melodies of the radio as she cooks dinner. She thinks of time spent quietly together, studying or reading, basking in the hushed contentedness of simply being in each other’s presence. She thinks of nights, <em> and mornings, </em> spent tangled beneath red silken bedsheets, of fingertips trailing over skin with deliberate tender affection, sentiments of endearment murmured with warm breath ghosting into ears tuned in to that voice alone, lips pressing kisses to convey words meant to be felt and not said. </p><p>Cheryl thinks of how, <em> even in spite of certain hiccups, </em> the burdening tension once weighing down Toni’s shoulders gradually eased. How the protective guard, carefully constructed over many a year, was slowly but surely lowered, and how Cheryl’s own tumbled to the ground along with it. She thinks of how Toni’s flourished, her time and mind no longer focused on where she was going to sleep and if she had enough wages from the Wyrm to pay the bills. She thinks of how Toni smiles and laughs, the fears of security and safety slowly melting away and allowing her to relish in the present and not stress about the future but look forward to it. <em> Admittedly thanks to said hiccups they took a while to dissipate, but Cheryl’s certain they’re gone now. </em> She thinks of how Toni is taking more photos than ever, of how she spends her time lost in the pages of books and taking delight in gaming with the boys. Of how she has time to breathe and relax and <em> live </em> rather than desperately try to survive. </p><p>
  <em> Is Toni comfortable here?  </em>
</p><p>As she thinks over everything, Cheryl realises that she does in fact know the answer.</p><p>“She is yes. This is her <em> home </em> after all.”</p><p>She can’t help the jibe of her own tumbling from her lips. </p><p>Because Cheryl isn’t the only one who’d grown up longing for a place to belong, a house to bestow upon it the title of home. Just as she did, Toni had grown up with circumstances making her feel like a home was not something she was to have. Although admittedly more so than she, because for her love it was both a metaphorical and literal sense. </p><p>But that’s over for Toni now, she finally has what she was desperate to know. </p><p>A home.</p><p>Somewhere to belong.</p><p>Because that’s what this house is, Toni’s home. And thanks to the being of utter perfection that holds her heart, and the light she brought into her life, it’s also now Cheryl’s. </p><p>
  <em> And therefore thy kinsmen are not a stop to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And you won’t let anything get in the way of your love, will you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>“I’m glad.” Toni’s Nana’s words are sincere but carry a certain lilt of disapproval, as if the thought of a Topaz being in any comfort around a Blossom is unfathomable. </p><p>“Shall we wait in the living room? I don’t know how long she’ll be and it’s more comfortable in there.”</p><p>Cheryl is met with a nod and so gestures towards the doorway behind Toni’s Nana who turns and enters the room whilst she follows behind.</p><p>The redhead spies her phone on the side table and moves to step towards it in order to text Toni and give her an attempt at a warning of what awaits her downstairs. But before she can however, the elder Topaz is tuning to face her, and Cheryl feels like a deer in the headlights.</p><p>“Does <span>Antoinette</span> know? About the letter?”</p><p>Her heart stammers within her chest. She knows the reason for the elder Topaz’s visit isn’t to exchange masqueraded pleasantries, and she feels her adrenaline spike once again as the letter is brought up. </p><p>Cheryl’s eyes flit to the floor, attempting to shield herself from the unrelenting gaze lain upon her. “No, she doesn’t, and I apologise if it was overstepping, I-”</p><p>She’s interrupted as a look of surprise takes over the previously schooled features before her. “Why? Why send it, why not tell her?”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But Toni’s is broken and you need to fix it. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl falters, entirely unsure of how to even begin to answer. She’s starkly conscious of the fact that she still has no knowledge of <em> why </em> Toni’s Nana is in her living room, and Cheryl worries that any word out of turn could be adding fuel to an already raging fire.</p><p>But then again, Toni’s Nana <em> is here. </em> She’s here willingly and as of yet hasn’t met her with words of condemnation, hasn’t made moves to scorn their love or curse her for being the heart Toni chose. Surely that counts for something? Maybe all isn’t lost after all? Perhaps, her attempt of making things right has a chance of coming into fruition.</p><p>Cheryl lifts her eyes from the floor and takes in the woman before her, feeling her heart jolt as she allows her mind to acknowledge the first thing she saw when she opened the door.</p><p>Toni’s eyes. </p><p>Cheryl’s aware that her girlfriend’s eyes have an uncanny resemblance to her Mother’s. It’s one of the first things that she’d noticed when Toni had first shown her the image of her parents at prom, that and the beauty her mom held. She remembers telling the vulnerable girl as such, along with a comment pertaining to Toni’s own. </p><p>It would seem Toni wasn’t the only Topaz to inherit her Mother’s eyes. Although the ones before her are devoid of the warmth usually swirling within her love’s brown orbs, Cheryl finds herself slipping into a moment of sincerity, vulnerability; something that tended to happen when <em> those </em> eyes fell upon her. </p><p>She knows there may not be a way to fix this, and she knows that in truth her words count for nothing, taking into account the name that shadows over her. She’s also aware that by sending the letter, Cheryl was putting a lot on the already burdened tightrope, but she’d been damned if she didn’t <em> try. </em></p><p>And the fact that Toni’s Nana is here, the fact she’s seemingly willing to even acknowledge her, well maybe the risk paid off.</p><p>She wouldn’t know unless she continues to take more, unless she continues to <em> try. </em></p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head, and your crown of thorns weighs you down, doesn’t it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you have push your unease away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For Toni. </em>
</p><p>Standing in the living room of Thistlehouse, Cheryl Blossom begins to bare her soul to the one person on this earth that might hate her almost as much as her own mother.</p><p>“Did you ever know my parents, ever see them, meet them?” She tries to keep her voice even, tries to push down the feeling of nauseating dread that spikes whenever they’re mentioned. She knows she’ll be haunted by them for the rest of her life, but right now she refuses to let ghouls from the past get in the way from the reality of her present. </p><p>Toni's Nana frowns, her eyes searching Cheryl’s own before she answers bluntly. “Saw yes, met no, not personally.” </p><p>“But you know of them?” </p><p>The elder woman nods but offers nothing more.</p><p>“Then I assume you’re aware that they’re not good people, independent of their name, I mean. The things you think of the Blossom name, they’re the embodiment of it all. Well, <em> were </em> in the case of my Father I suppose. Do you know of the happenings of recent years? I suppose you must, the whole town does.”</p><p>The elder Topaz’s brow furrows, she’s not entirely sure where Cheryl’s going, but offers a calculated, “yes I’m aware.” </p><p>“Then you’ll know that my twin, Jason, was taken from me, from this world, at the hands of my Father under the guise of the Blossom name. JJ was the light in a world shrouded in darkness, he was nurture when my parents gave only neglect, he was the joy amongst my sorrow, the comfort within my pain.”</p><p>Cheryl is starkly aware that the woman before her couldn’t care less about the Blossom pit of sin, and she ponders if perhaps she was happy to hear the news of her Father’s passing, after all it did mean one less Blossom in the world. <em> She does allow herself the hope that perhaps the older woman was at least a little saddened by Jason’s passing, it was a teenage boy’s tragic murder after all. </em></p><p>“Whilst I cannot begin to understand the immeasurable pain your family has endured at the hands of my ancestors, I do know the agony that comes with the Blossom name taking a life. Since birth I knew only neglect and cruelty at the hands of my parents. When JJ was taken from me, the light in my life was put out, and I was left alone in the dark once again, suffering under my parents cruel hands. And then my Father departed this world and left me with a Mother that could only bear to look at me when she was spitting words of hatred and cruelty.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You know only too well, don’t you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p> “Until Toni.” Cheryl can’t help the smile that takes place across her face as she mentions her love's name. She is, after all, the light in her soul, it's only right that the pink haired girl lights up Cheryl’s features too.</p><p>“Toni came into my life from nowhere, one moment my heart didn’t know her and the next it wished never to be without her. She lit my world up again, and suddenly the things my Mother said and did, they didn’t hurt quite so much anymore. And obviously when she found out about Toni and I, when she realised her previous attempts to halt the awakening of my sexuality had failed, she was less than pleased.”</p><p>Even now Cheryl finds her heart aching, yearning for acceptance that she knew would never come. Desperate for pride from the one person she knew would never look upon her with anything other than shame.</p><p>“Did you know my Mother forced me into conversation therapy? Had me locked away with attempt to change my heart, attempt to change my love.”</p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But that didn’t stop yours from trying did it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>Toni’s Nana sighs slightly before she nods, the rumours and news of the Blossom’s <em> dealings </em> always coursed through the town at some point or another, this was just yet more information that spread like wildfire across the community. Students telling parents, parents telling neighbours. She wouldn’t admit it, but the elder Topaz can’t deny that her heart had panged for the youngest Blossom when the news reached her. However, whilst she held sorrow for what the girl before her had gone through, it didn’t take away the pain her name has caused.</p><p>“Toni rescued me. She spent days searching for me and didn’t give up, didn’t even falter until she found me. She saved me Mrs Topaz, not just that night, but in so many ways.” </p><p>
  <em> Stony limits cannot hold love out.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Could not hold Toni out. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl sighs, looking down to her fingers fidgeting together, her hands wringing. “The things you think of me, I understand why. But you also should know that they are thoughts that were once held in my own mind, placed there by my parents. My Mother had me believing that I was loveless, worthless, that I was nothing. And Toni changed that. She saw something inside me that I myself didn't even know was there, she saw something in me worth saving and she did so even though I made it incredibly difficult for her at first. Toni taught me that I wasn’t what my Mother said, that I wasn’t what my name fated me to be.”</p><p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Toni proved her love can do anything. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl is aware there are tears beginning to form in her eyes, she knows that in spite of the healing she’s been trying to do, the wound in her heart is still tender, still sore. All this talk of her name over the past few weeks has dredged old feelings up to the surface, and right now she’s allowing them to pour out of her in waves. She’s desperate for the woman before her to see that whilst she had right to hate her family for the pain inflicted under the Blossom name, she’s been a victim of it too.</p><p>“The things you believe my name to hold, you’re not wrong. It is a name filled with cruelty, with suffering and sin. The Blossom name is a cursed one, a web of harm and corruption. The wickedness of the past set in like a rot and ever since it’s been festering, destroying all it touches.”</p><p>
  <em> It’s easy for someone to talk about scars if they’ve never been cut. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But the thorns ripped you apart too, didn’t they Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>If she’s honest, Toni’s Nana is rather taken aback by all she’s hearing. She was aware of the horrors held within the Blossom's stony walls, however she had no idea just how harrowing they were, how deep the well of sin lay. </p><p>A singular tear escapes her eye but Cheryl wipes it away as quickly as it falls. She won’t allow herself to cry, to become taken over by the emotion bubbling in her chest, the desperation to make Toni’s Nana see that she wasn’t the person she thought her to be. “I understand the pain my name brings, the loss, I know because I’ve suffered at the hands of it too, I’ve had things ripped from me because of it too. I’ve lost so much at the hands of my name, and I refuse to let it destroy anything else. Especially not Toni.”</p><p>Toni, who deserves all that life has to offer. Toni, this being of such wonder, such joy, <em> such love. </em> Toni, this soul of purity, faultless in design and most sweet in nature. </p><p>Toni, the sheer embodiment of all that is good in this world.</p><p>“She’s <em> good </em> Mrs Topaz, in spite of everything she’s endured, in spite of the suffering that's plagued her, it hasn’t reached her soul, it hasn’t corrupted her. She’s kind and loyal, she cares and aids, she brings joy and laughter. She has within her a goodness that’s so rare, one that deserves to be cherished and admired. She has a heart that’s <em> good, </em> a heart that deserves not to know of such hardship and strife, but only of compassion, of happiness and comfort, of <em> love. </em>”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You’re not entirely sure are you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you know that there’s goodness in Toni’s soul. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl raises her gaze to meet the one of the woman before her. Desperately hoping that somehow Toni’s Nana can look beyond her grievances long enough to understand that all Cheryl wants for her girlfriend is happiness, just as she does. </p><p>The younger girl is helpless to remove the emotion beginning to course within her voice, the tone of pleading ebbing with a flowing desperation to make the elder Topaz see that Cheryl worships the very ground her Granddaughter walks on, the very air she breathes. “So I suppose that’s <em> why </em> I wrote the letter, because I couldn’t bear the thought that this curse had caused yet more pain, taken yet another member from their kin. I couldn’t bear the knowledge that that person was Toni, that because of me and my name she was suffering. I wrote it because Toni doesn’t deserve this, she deserves better, the best of everything, and it’s because of me, <em> because of my name, </em> that right now she doesn’t have that. And so I couldn’t not attempt to fix it, I couldn’t not <em> try.” </em></p><p>
  <em> For Toni.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl sighs heavily, “I know you deem me unworthy of loving your Granddaughter Mrs Topaz, and, truly, I understand. For she is all that is good in this god forsaken world, and my name is dripping in sin. I understand because to this very day, I do not deem myself worthy of loving her either, nor do I deem myself worthy of knowing her love. But she does. Even though I’m still unsure as to <em> why </em> Toni deems me to be as such. Somehow, for some reason, Toni loves me, and I plan to spend every day of my life doing what I can to deserve it.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But Toni deserves better than a crown, doesn’t she Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For she deserves the world. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s more than aware of how her mind is screaming at her to stop, her demons trying to claw back the words leaving her mouth as if they won’t allow a moment of such vulnerability. But the redhead knows this moment must be had, these words must be spoken if she is to even <em> try </em> to make the woman before her understand that she wants to make things right, wants to make things <em> better. </em></p><p>Her tone ripples with emotion as she speaks, and Cheryl is helpless to stop the way her voice cracks. “The things you think of me to be, the very same things I once believed about myself, it’s Toni who taught me, <em> showed </em> me that I’m not. She taught me that I’m not them, that my name doesn’t have to be some fated condemnation. I admit there was a time when I allowed my bitterness to control my actions, but Toni, she showed me how to heal and be better. She makes me want to do better, and I know the name that follows me carries too much sin to ever truly atone for, but I swear to you, I’m amidst trying to begin to do so, not just by the letter, but within the company too. And I can’t say much, and Toni doesn’t even know yet, but I’m trying, I want to do better, for her, for Toni.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You’re still not sure.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you know Toni makes you want to better yours.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl smiles, “she showed me that I’m not defined by my name, and I guess I just hope that one day you may believe so too. But more than that, Toni makes me want to <em> be better, </em> to be a better person, because that’s the kind of soul she is, the kind of light she carries within her. And she doesn’t deserve to know the pain currently in her heart, she doesn’t deserve to fall victim to the name that haunts us both. That’s why I did it, because Toni deserves better than this, so I couldn’t not <em> try. </em> I couldn’t not attempt to do everything in my power to bring you back to her. Because she deserves the best, and that includes having her Grandparents, having <em> you, </em> in her life.”</p><p>The elder Topaz is taken aback by the words tumbling from the youngest Blossom’s mouth, surprised by the sheer passion and honesty in the vulnerability shown.  </p><p>“The reason I wrote to you? I did it for her, Mrs Topaz, I did it for Toni.” </p><p>
  <em> And what love can do that dares love attempt.  </em>
</p><p>Toni’s Nana takes in the girl before her, takes in the way her hands wring together nervously, the way her features are dripping with sincerity, her eyes filled with apprehensiveness yet also sparking with a tiny slither of hope. Whilst the things Cheryl has said to her have certainly touched her heart, there is still one thing she must know, one answer she wishes to hear outright, plain and true. Words that carry with them a promise.</p><p>“Do you love her? Do you love <span>Antoinette</span>?”</p><p>The older woman watches the features of the girl before her contort, shifting from a look of nervousness and worry to one of utter truth and definitiveness. Her eyes ignited by a fire blazing with passion and determination. Hands release each other to hang purposely by her sides, her posture shifts as her spine straightens, all signs of uncertainty and doubt vanishing completely.</p><p>Cherry red lips are helpless to resist the way they move, twisting upwards in a delicate smile at the thought of <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz.</p><p>“With every ounce of my soul Mrs Topaz. Let there be no doubt.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>For a moment, Toni’s Nana doesn’t react, doesn’t move, simply continues to bear her eyes into Cheryl’s own, searching for even the most miniscule of sign of her words being untrue. And still the girl before her doesn’t twitch, doesn’t waver. For all the nerves and doubt she’s witnessed radiating from her ever since she opened the door, now she emits only certainty, her features shining with a light she knows is placed there by love.</p><p>The elder Topaz draws in a breath before nodding once and releasing it heavily. </p><p>She believes her.</p><p>Cheryl Blossom truly does love her Granddaughter. </p><p>
  <em> There’s no doubt. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl feels her heart soar, her fear and apprehension lifting from her and floating away. She knows all this means nothing in the grand scheme of things, that her words won’t undo the actions of the past or heal the pain in the heart of the woman before her. She’s more than aware that the wounds inflicted by her name will remain as scars forever, but she can’t help but feel a sense of hope, a shred of faith that maybe, just maybe, this is the first step along the long path to a mutual ground. One where both parties are a part of Toni’s life.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For Toni. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl releases a breath as she watches Toni’s Nana open her mouth to speak, however it’s not her voice that meets her ears, but that of another.</p><p>“Hey babe, I was wondering if yo- oh.”</p><p>She whirls around to see a figure in the doorway, wet hair tied in a bun, adorning Cheryl’s last years Vixens t-shirt, eyes wide in worry and lips parted in shock.</p><p>
  <em> Toni. </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed!</p><p>Let me know your thoughts!</p><p>See you soon,</p><p>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Love lies not truly their hearts but in their eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Toni walks in to find her nana and Cheryl, a conversation of her own ensues.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well hello friends :D</p><p>It's been a while I know, but ya know life, plus those of you who follow me on twitter will know how much I struggled with this chapter, (see 4 rewrites and hours of literally just reorganising) HOWEVER, it's ended up at 12k words so you know, you can't be too mad at me. </p><p>I also wanna say thank you to Clara and Bian for helping me out with motivation bc oh gosh you're both stars!</p><p>Heads up for some trigger warnings, nothing hefty at all just mentions of and references too, but as always better to be safe than sorry!</p><p>TW // mention of suicide, mention of abuse, mention of death (minor character), mention of drowning, very brief mention of conversion therapy</p><p>As always you know that I love to hear your thoughts, (be it on twitter, in the comments via curious cat, carrier pigeon, however you fancy) and they make mine and Nigel's hearts happy and motivate me!</p><p>It's my birthday on Tuesday (wooo) and so I'm hoping that I can gift you all with the final chapter then!</p><p>So yeah, get nice and comfy and prepare for a lonnngg and hefty one! I hope you enjoy it - ngl I'm kinda proud of how the end has turned out!</p><p>Luce :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey babe, I was wondering if yo- oh.”</p><p>Cheryl feels her heart ache as she witnesses springing tears being desperately fought back, a swallow mask the tremble of a bottom lip, trembles poorly concealed within a soft but shaky inhale. </p><p>She can practically <em> see </em> the cycle of emotions race through Toni’s wide eyes. </p><p>Confusion. Remembrance. Sorrow. <em> Pain. </em></p><p>A plump lip is pulled between pearly teeth as unsure brown orbs examine the sight before them. Comprehending the image of her nana and girlfriend, of elder Topaz and younger Blossom, two households of ancient grudge descended through kin, stood either side of an invisible divide. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even without baring a crown, Toni.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl’s eyes widen as she witnesses Toni process the scene in front of her. She watches as the face of such beauty, such joy, is overcome with such anguish, such pain. Rich, brown orbs dull, eyelids blink wearily, too tired to fight whatever is taking place. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy indeed. </em>
</p><p>To see the person she loves most in the world be, once again, faced with such torment by the universe’s cruel hand, breaks her heart. Cheryl’s soul ails at the knowledge that Toni, the strongest person she knows, a being of such resilience and determination, has all but given up. All but accepted the loss brought upon her and is now simply readying herself for yet another blow. </p><p>Cheryl casts her mind back to her own younger self, back to how the light within her soul shone brightly, vitalised with laughter and joy, energised by Jason and their bond. </p><p>She thinks of how as she grew older, as horror after horror cast itself upon her, as nightmare turned to harrowing reality and her parents beat down upon her both verbally and physically, her light wavered, dimmed. </p><p>The once dazzling brightness became a little fainter with each evil she encountered, each cruelty from her parents, each reminder of her lack of worth. Each torment took its toll piece by piece, slowly but surely sucking her light away, dampening her spirits, putting out her flame. </p><p>Downtrodden. Belittled. Cast aside. </p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nothing but pain. </em>
</p><p>Dimming. Fading. Dwindling. </p><p>
  <em> And what was in you? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nothing but darkness. </em>
</p><p>Then came that day at Sweetwater River. The day where the light within her soul flickered and her life hung in the balance. </p><p>And, for but a moment, went out completely.</p><p>But then Archie Andrews pulled her from her watery grave and poured breath into her lungs, forcibly relighting the smouldering embers within her, and in doing so parted with a piece of his own life, gifting it to her to renew her own. </p><p>The ‘kiss of life’ as she’d aptly named it.</p><p>Ever since that fateful day at Sweetwater, the light inside her had been merely a faint glow. The most minuscule of embers, desperately seeking something to fuel it, to help make it bright again. Craving something to be bright <em> for. </em> Relishing how a moment of laughter caused a spark, a simple kind comment or acknowledgment of her presence added a few drops of fuel, a touch as simple as a hand on her arm or a hug allowing a flash of the brightness she’d once known.</p><p>She’d been stuck living from moment to moment, searching for anything to help the light within her to glow and prevent it from dimming any further, <em> craving </em> it. </p><p>Enter <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz. </p><p>Enter this being of magnificence, of beautiful juxtaposition, this gem of a person crafted from pure divinity.</p><p>
  <em> A topaz amongst the stones.</em>
</p><p>Enter this girl that her mind screamed out was everything to stay away from, but her heart, her <em> soul, </em> called out for. No matter how hard she tried to push this perfect little being away, her heart knew that Toni was different, <em> special. </em></p><p>
  <b>It craved her.</b>
</p><p>And god it was like Toni <em> reignited </em>her. </p><p>Properly this time, nothing akin to the embers that crackled after Sweetwater River, not some faint glow clouded by dark fog. </p><p>For Toni helped her <em> shine. </em></p><p>
  <em> A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But Toni hadn’t wanted any other, she’d wanted you, hadn’t she Cheryl?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even in spite of your thorns. </em>
</p><p>Cheryl still remembers when their lips met for the first time. When love was created in a place swarming with hate. When sparks of thrill and adrenaline jolted through her like lighting bolts of passion and warmth, of <em> love. </em> </p><p>It had been <em> everything, </em> a moment she’ll cherish for the rest of her days, until the last of her breath escapes her lungs for a final time. Until her eyes look their last and her arms take their last embrace, she’ll always remember their lips, the doors of their breath, sealing with a righteous kiss.</p><p>For when Toni’s lips captured her own, she also encaptured her soul. The pink haired girl from the wrong side of the tracks had taken ownership of her heart long before that moment, but after weeks of yearning, of pining, <em> of craving, </em> Toni burst into that room as she had Cheryl’s life, determined and unashamedly, rescuing both her and her heart from a fated damnation. </p><p><em> What love can do that dares love attempts. </em> </p><p>For in that moment in the darkest of places, their lips met in the most beautiful display of light. Two tender hearts exploding with pure, raw, emotions, their souls colliding in a powerful illumination, radiating warmth and care, and <em> love. </em></p><p><b>Fireworks</b> <b> <em>.</em> </b></p><p>Toni made her soul thrive. She taught Cheryl that in spite of everything drilled into her mind by her parents, by life, that it <em> deserved </em> to. That she deserved happiness and love, deserved care and <em> goodness. </em> That she isn’t defined by the opinions of others, that the cruel words sewn into her mind by her mother were nothing more than that, empty words used to taunt her. Toni taught her that she isn’t defined by the past that haunts her or the name that so desperately tries to dig its claws into her back. That instead, she’s defined by her heart, by who she is and the actions and choices she makes. </p><p>Toni breathed light into her, breathed <em> life </em> into her.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oh how Toni broke yours down.  </em>
</p><p>And now?</p><p>Now the light within Toni’s own soul, the one that had illuminated Cheryl’s path and led her out of the abyss, is dimming. The burden of current and past events weighing down on her heart is sucking her light away, clouding around it like a heavy fog, preventing it from shining out against the shroud of darkness hanging over it. </p><p>It’s warmth growing colder, joy becoming sorrow, illumination fading away. </p><p>Because of this. </p><p>Because of <em> her. </em></p><p>Because of <b>her name.</b></p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But your name isn’t that of a rose, is it Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Not of a rose, but the sharpest of thorns.  </em>
</p><p>“C-Cheryl what, I don’t…” Toni trails off and the redhead’s heart pangs at the almost childlike lilt of uncertainty in her voice. God she sounds so lost, so unsure.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Uneasy.</em> </b>
</p><p>Ignoring the scrutinizing gaze seering into her back from eyes across the room, Cheryl instantly moves to her love and pulls her into a secure embrace. Whilst she knows Toni will want to put up a facaded strength before her nana, Cheryl also knows that she <em> needs </em> this more, needs comfort, <em> stability.  </em></p><p>Pressing a kiss atop pink locks, Cheryl murmurs softly to ensure their privacy from eavesdropping ears. “I’m so sorry my love, she just showed up. But whatever happens, remember you’re so incredibly strong cheriè and you can do this, okay?” </p><p>Toni releases a shaky breath and nods against her and so Cheryl relinquishes her embrace to instead encase a small hand within her own. </p><p>Whilst she doesn’t want to leave Toni with the source of her agony, Cheryl knows the conversation about to take place is one she needs not be privy to. The redhead hopes that her and the elder Topaz’s conversation will have opened her mind somewhat to the knowledge that she really, truly, <em> ardently, </em> loves Toni, and that whilst she carries the Blossom name, she also desperately wants to better it. But Cheryl also knows that her job is done, this isn’t her place anymore, and it’s Toni’s. Perfect, divine, pure, <em> good, </em> <b>Toni,</b> will be the one to fix this. </p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nothing of any good. </em>
</p><p>She steps back slightly but maintains her hold on her girlfriend’s hand, squeezing it gently as she glances between her Toni and her nana. “I’ll leave you both to talk.” Her gaze shifts back to Toni’s nervous one, “but I’ll be in the kitchen should you want me okay? I’ll be just down the hall.”</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in you Cheryl? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Not quite a rose, but not quite a thorn either.  </em>
</p><p>Toni nods and releases her hand from its pale enclosure, albeit reluctantly, and so Cheryl moves to pick her phone up from the side table, knowing she’ll need a distraction whilst she waits. She meets the elder Topaz’s eyes once more and tries to ignore the jolt of hope in her chest as she sees them soften ever so, and a slight, singular nod is sent her way. </p><p>
  <em> Not quite a rose, not yet perhaps.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But maybe, just maybe, a blossom.  </em>
</p><p>Cheryl knows that this is far from over, that the real conversation has barely just begun. That, in truth, for all the honesty and vulnerability shown to the elder Topaz, for all that she’d just revealed of her soul, she wasn’t going to be the one to fix this. This is a conversation between Topaz and Topaz, between nana and grandchild, between kin. The Blossom name has caused enough damage, so whilst her letter worked, whilst it brought Toni’s nana here and gave Cheryl an opportunity to speak perhaps some of the most sincere words she’s ever spoken, there’s nothing else she can do. There’s nothing else <em> for </em> her to do. </p><p>This is Toni’s place, not hers. </p><p>Cheryl heads towards the doorway, but pauses as she reaches Toni’s side, taking her hand in her own once again and pressing a delicate kiss against her cheek. She pulls back, barely so, just far enough to look into the apprehensive orbs of her love that are currently trained on the floor. Her lips tilt upwards in a small, sympathetic smile and she murmurs gently, “I love you TT, so very much, and whatever happens I’m right here, okay cheriè? You’re not alone.” </p><p>Toni’s eyes lift to meet her own and she nods once before releasing a mumbled, “I love you too, Cher.”</p><p>
  <em> Maybe a rose, beginning to bloom.  </em>
</p><p>Throwing a last glance over her shoulder at Toni’s nana, who’s eyes have been drinking in their interactions ever since her granddaughter entered the room, Cheryl swallows down her yearning to stay by Toni’s side in support, and leaves. </p><p>Toni watches her girlfriend’s retreating figure even after she’s rounded the corner into the hallway and is long gone from sight. Only when she hears the click signifying the closure of the kitchen doors, does she sigh softly and turn back to face the woman before her. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And how are you faring now, Toni? </em>
</p><p>No matter how desperately she tries to, all attempts at pushing away her feelings are futile. Worry courses through her, apprehension churns in the pit of her stomach, fear flows through her ears with the whisperings of each and every way this could end in disaster. </p><p>“I...” Toni wishes she could form a coherent thought, but her mind is awash with the memories of all that’s transpired these past weeks. Waves of emotion lap at her heart, the salty water stinging her still healing wounds. The words of her demons swim within her mind, pouring her doubts over her like a tidal wave. “I, um-”</p><p>
  <em> Thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But your nana’s tried once already, hasn’t she Toni? </em>
</p><p>Thankfully, her nana takes the initiative and makes moves to begin the conversation soaking her body with dread. “<span>Antoinette</span>, shall we sit?”</p><p>Toni nods and releases a shaky breath before moving to take a seat on the sofa. She can’t help the small smile that tugs at her lips as memories of evenings curled up with Cheryl in this very spot flash through her mind. Her gaze falls to a spec of fluff on the rug beneath her feet as her leg begins to bounce, a nervous habit she’s never quite gotten control over.</p><p>
  <em> What if she’s here to try again? </em>
</p><p>Her nana lowers herself tentatively into the armchair across from her, her hands clasped atop her knees as she looks at her granddaughter expectantly.</p><p>
  <em> What if she succeeds this time? </em>
</p><p>An uneasy silence takes hold of the room, Toni knows that her nana is waiting for her to make the first comment but at the same time she has no idea where, or how to begin. </p><p>
  <em> No Toni, for stony limits. </em>
</p><p>Her gaze shifts from the floor to her hands, watching as she finds herself toying with the material of her t-shirt anxiously. Well, in truth it’s Cheryl’s t-shirt that she’d commandeered as of recent months. She still remembers her girlfriend’s chuckle the first time she’d worn it and the humoured comment pertaining to how she was the only one, other than the redhead herself, deemed worthy to carry the responsibility of those four letters across her back.</p><p>After a moment of watching her fingers shifting against the cotton material, the pink haired girl sucks in a wavering breath and attempts to find her words. “I don’t, uhh, why, why are you here?”</p><p>Her nana inhales before releasing a sigh, neutral yet weighted. Her eyes drag over her granddaughter’s face before she speaks, her voice filled with hesitation, “Cheryl, she,” another sigh, “Cheryl sent me a letter.”</p><p>
  <b> <em>Dear Mr and Mrs Topaz,</em> </b>
</p><p>Toni’s gaze snaps up to meet the one fixed upon her. Her eyes widen and a frown filled with confusion spreads itself across her features, “she, she did <em> what?” </em></p><p>The woman across from her draws in a breath and closes her eyes briefly before opening them and settling her brown orbs on her grandchild once more. “She wrote a letter <span>Antoinette</span>. One that was delivered through the door last week, addressed to your grandfather and I.” </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And Cheryl wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of Toni receiving the love she deserves.  </em>
</p><p>Toni blinks as her brain tries to process the words floating from her nana’s mouth. </p><p><em> Cheryl did what? </em> </p><p>A letter? </p><p>Of all the things she thought the woman before her was going to say, this wasn’t one of them. Her leg jitters even more as the nervous adrenaline within her builds, ebbing with worry, flowing with doubt. When she speaks her voice is rife with confusion, “Cheryl wrote a- what? About what?”</p><p>The elder Topaz sucks in a breath, “about you <span>Antoinette</span>. She wrote to us, regarding you.”</p><p>
  <b> <em>I know that hearing from me is the last thing either of you will want right now but, for the sake of Toni, I find myself unable to refrain from simply standing witness any longer. Whilst I would have liked to speak to you in person, I am conscious that it would not be in yours or Toni’s best interests for me to do so, and so I shall have to hope this parchment carries with it the full sincerity of my words. </em> </b>
</p><p>Toni shakes her head incredulously, drawing in a staccatoed breath. Her eyes widen as her mind attempts to comprehend her nana’s words. Cheryl wrote about <em> her? </em> </p><p><em> Why? </em> </p><p>She feels said word tumbling from her lips in a quiet question and forces her reeling mind to focus on the woman across from her, to hone in on her response. </p><p>“She wanted to speak about all that’s taken place these past weeks.” Her nana’s voice is even, neutral, and the pink haired girl feels her unease spike. She has no clue how the woman before her is feeling right now, no idea as to how she feels about what Cheryl has done, and it unnerves her.</p><p>Toni’s mind reels as a mix of emotions swirl around her head. There’s confusion, pertaining as to <em> when </em>this took place, for she doesn’t remember seeing Cheryl write it or disappearing to deliver it. Admittedly, she also feels a shred of panic and concern as to Cheryl’s words, considering that, as much as she loves her, she has a tendency to be quite brash and sometimes lacks certain tact with sensitive matters. </p><p>“Oh.” </p><p>The word tumbles from her lips quietly, <em> uneasily, </em> in perfect juxtaposition to the cacophony inside her mind. A painful jolt sparks through her as she’s reminded once again of her heartache of the recent weeks, of the exile from her blood.</p><p>The woman before her wrings her hands together, her gaze dropping to them as she does, unable to look her granddaughter in the eye as she speaks her next words. “She,” a sigh, <em> “Cheryl </em> wrote to ask us, <em> me, </em> to reconsider what happened between you and I.”</p><p>
  <b> <em>I hope you do not deem me to be overstepping or speaking out of turn, but I feel it imperative that I reach out to you and ask you to undo the events that took place between Toni and yourselves. </em> </b>
</p><p>Toni can’t help the breath that tumbles from her lips, carrying with it an air of incredulity at her nana’s words. Cheryl had done <em> what? </em> </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits Toni. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Cheryl couldn’t not try. </em>
</p><p>In spite of the nauseating dread that’s been bubbling in her stomach since walking into the front room to find her nana and Cheryl standing across from each other, Toni allows a small shred of her to hope she’s here for a good reason. She permits a tiny part of her mind to spark with hope that maybe, <em> just maybe, </em> her nana has come willing to hear what she has to say, that perhaps the outcome will be different to that of the last time they spoke.</p><p>Toni opens her mouth to reply but finds herself falling short, her mind unable to conjure an apt response. In all honesty, she’s not entirely sure what the appropriate comment to her nana’s revelation is. She’s almost thankful when the older woman’s voice echoes across the room, but then she hears the tone laced with a warning, the words carrying with them a reminder of why they’re here in the first place. “<span>Antoinette</span> I can’t just forget what that family did to ours, I can’t ignore the sin committed against our blood.”</p><p>Toni collects her thoughts as best she can and readies herself, knowing that the dreaded conversation has commenced. She’s more than aware this is dangerous territory she’s walking in, knows that her words must be carefully spoken in order to attempt to avoid a repeat of before. “I understand Nana, truly I do, but this isn’t about the Blossoms and a name, not to me. It’s about Cheryl. It’s about the fact we love eachother, and that’s all that matters.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name, Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For you only care for what’s in her heart. </em>
</p><p>The scoff that leaves her nana’s lips has Toni’s heart faltering. She’s barely stepped foot on the tightrope and yet it already feels like she’s plummeting down into the depths. </p><p>The cold voice that meets her ears only furthers the dread growing inside her. “Except it isn’t. <span>Antoinette</span> you have to understand there is no separation between name and person. The Blossom name is dripping in the blood of the Uktena, <em> your kin. </em> It carries with it the murder and extortion of our ancestors, the theft of our land, our <em> home. </em> You cannot ignore that.”</p><p>At her nana’s words Toni feels her unease slipping away, replaced instead by an igniting spark of frustration as her heckles raise. She is starkly aware of her heart beginning to feebly scramble together the remnants of its defense. The shattered pieces of it have yet to heal from before, currently bound together by Cheryl’s words and love and Toni fears that, should the outcome of today be reminiscent of the events of two weeks ago, it will be broken for a final time and left in such a manner that she nor Cheryl will be able to fix it. And yet she steels herself all the same.</p><p>Toni bites her lip, contemplating her words and more than aware of the impending storm. “Nana, I told you before, Cheryl isn’t like her name, she’s not the assumptions you force on her. I know what the Blossom ancestors did to the Uktena, to our family, but Cheryl is different and I can’t, <em> I won’t, </em> allow the grudge of ancients and the pain of the past to take away from that.”</p><p>
  <em> A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you’re the only one who knows the true sweetness of her scent, aren’t you Toni? </em>
</p><p>Her nana’s brow furrows and Toni can’t believe that she’s having this conversation yet again. It pained her heavily to do so the first time, having it once more with the added torment of the past weeks is not something she or her heart can take right now. </p><p>The woman before her shifts in the armchair and Toni can practically see the resentment beginning to seep out of her. She’s aware of the growing tension in the room, but if she’s honest, she doesn’t have it in her to placate her nana. </p><p>The elder Topaz purses her lips before inhaling sharply, “no matter how you feel about her, or she you, <span>Antoinette</span>, it does not take away from the fact she’s a Blossom. She’s of the blood that spilt that of the Uktena, of our family. That name is dripping in sin, that family is a curse and yet you forget, you disregard it. You ignored the past and chose this girl over your kin.”</p><p>The pink haired girl sucks in a breath as it takes every ounce of her resolve not to roll her eyes. Hearing the same words as before rattled off as if stuck on some ever-looping record, Toni feels that tatter of hope slip away, replaced instead by rapidly growing anger. “Nana, I’ve told you time and time again that I haven’t disregarded anything, I <em> know </em> what happened to our ancestors, but I also know Cheryl. And as for choosing, you’re the one that made me pick.”</p><p>Toni’s nana sucks in a breath and when she speaks Toni can hear hostility lacing her voice. “I forbid you to date a Blossom, to have relations of any sort with any of their kind, and yet you do so anyway. You know what that name has done to ours, and you sided with that family anyway, you chose them, over your own blood.”</p><p>Toni knows that if this conversation continues in this direction, it’s not going to be much longer before her resolve breaks. The grip she has on her emotions is slipping, and she finds herself clawing to keep a neutral tone and a handle on her manners, it is her nana she’s speaking to after all.</p><p>“Nana I respect you, both as family and my elder, but that doesn’t give you the right to decide who I can and can’t love. I know what the Blossom ancestors did to ours, and I still hold anger and pain within me because of it and for how this town treats its history. But I didn’t side with <em> any </em> family, I didn’t choose <em> them, </em> I chose <em> her. </em> There’s a difference.”</p><p>
  <b> <em>I understand the Blossom name and the actions of my ancestors have brought immense hurt to your family. I accept that the events of the past still cause great pain in the present and I understand the resentment your family harbours for mine and therefore, as a result, me. The Blossom name brings with it pain and destruction, of that much I am personally aware, but I cannot watch that devastation happen before me and sit idle.</em> </b>
</p><p>“<span>Antoinette</span> you’re ignoring everythi-”</p><p>Toni cuts her off, unable to hear the same words tumbling form her nana’s lips yet again. “You keep saying that Nana, but no, I’m not. Look, I don’t mean any disrespect but if anyone is ignoring things here it’s <em> you. </em> I’ve told you so many times that Cheryl’s not like her parents, her family, her <em> name. </em> I’ve told you that I trust her, that I see something different inside her, <em> good </em> inside her. I’ve told you I haven’t forgotten about the past, but Nana, you’re disregarding everything I’m telling you about my present.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name, Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You know she’s more than a thorn, don’t you? </em>
</p><p>The tension building is almost unbearable. It’s as if it’s filling the room with a thick, foreboding air, a weighted mist burning Toni’s lungs, charring her throat with every inhale. The thread binding her emotions together is fraying, rapidly so. She’s irked by her nana’s words, by the fact they’ve already been uttered two weeks prior in a conversation her heart is still heavy from. A conversation she doesn’t want to repeat, but finds herself forced to do so anyway.</p><p>The elder Topaz leans forward, resting her elbows on her thighs as she clasps her hands tightly, “I’m not disregarding what you’re saying <span>Antoinette</span>, but I’m trying to make you see, I’m here beca-”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold your love out, Toni. </em>
</p><p>Toni cuts her off once more, tired of hearing the same words of the past whilst trying to fight for her present. “You’re here, yes, but to do what exactly? Because it seems to me all you’re doing is saying the same things you did before. You keep ignoring everything I say, ignoring <em> my feelings </em> and telling me what to do. I’m sorry Nana but I don’t know why you feel you have the right to try and forbid me from loving someone.”</p><p>
  <em> And what your love can do that dares your love attempt. </em>
</p><p>The woman before her sighs heavily and looks away, her eyes falling upon a photo on the mantelpiece of <span>Antoinette</span> and the girl in question cuddled up together in front of a Christmas tree. She pauses for a moment, taking in the picture perfect look of delight upon her granddaughter's face before turning back towards her. “Her ancestors stole everything from us <span>Antoinette</span>, land, wealth, homes, <em> lives. </em> You’re ignoring it for some girl, disregarding her name and I just want you-”</p><p>
  <em> Therefore your kinsmen are no stop to you, are they Toni? </em>
</p><p><b>Toni snaps</b>. </p><p>She’s done with this endless cycle of conversation, with this constant back and forth regarding the heart inside the girl she loves and the sins carried within the name burdening her. “Look Nana, I’m happy Cheryl’s letter brought you here, but if it’s just to repeat everything you’ve already said time and time again I don’t want to hear it. You made me choose once already and I chose Cheryl. Please don’t make the mistake of making me do so again, because you and I both know I’ll choose her. I’ll choose Cheryl every time. <em> Let there be no doubt, Nana.” </em></p><p>The older Topaz bristles, whether it’s at her tone or her words Toni’s not entirely sure, but what she does know is that she’s done. When she first laid sight on her nana and Cheryl in the living room she’d felt a spark of hope, a spark that grew into a flame when her nana brought up the letter her girlfriend had written. She’d thought that maybe, <em> just maybe, </em> it would be the beginning of the road to fixing the bond her nana had broken. </p><p>But now? </p><p>Now, as much as it ails her heart to think so, Toni’s not entirely sure it can be fixed. She can’t see the woman before her letting go of her damnation of the Blossom name long enough to see that Lucifer hasn’t laid a hand upon all those that bear it.</p><p>Toni feels her heart pounding, the adrenaline within her rushing through her veins, carrying with it anger and iritation for how her nana is repeatedly ignoring her words. She’s done with this conversation, done with constantly having to fight through some barrier or obstacle in order to have her love. She and Cheryl have already been through more horrors and ordeals than imaginable, and she refuses to let this be the hurdle they fall at. Not now, not after everything they’ve endured to get to this point. </p><p>
  <em> You won’t let anyone limit your love, will you Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And your love dares attempt anything. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to you. </em>
</p><p>“This isn’t about the Blossoms and their sins, because as far as I’m concerned Cheryl isn’t one. And you can call me naive or whatever for it, but she’s <em> different, </em> she’s not like the rest of them. She’s not a Blossom, not to me, she’s Cheryl, she’s just Cheryl and I’m in love with her, no matter what you’ve come here to say. And in actuality, I find myself not caring for your words because, as much as it hurts me to know you and Grandpa have removed yourselves from my life because you refuse to accept who I love, I know the truth. I’ve seen what’s inside her heart and I like what I see. I’m in love with her, deeply so, with who she is in spite of the name that follows her.”</p><p>Fumes of Toni’s indignation and frustration seep into the thick air, clashing with the resentment and grievance reeling off the woman before her. She’s finally broken down her barriers of politeness and worries for her nana’s offence at her words and tone. Toni finds herself uncaring if she causes upset, considering her nana is teeming with judgement and hatred anyway, unwilling to listen to her words when restrained by respect for her elder and so why shouldn’t she remove the veil over them and speak plain and true?</p><p>“You act as if I’m dishonouring and disregarding everything that happened, and yet who was the one that organised the protest on Pickens day? <em> Me. </em> A protest, need I remind you, that Cheryl <em> joined in with. </em> And she didn’t even know me then. She had no clue about the truth of the past, of her ancestors, just as the rest of the town, and yet when she learnt the truth <em> she stood with us. </em> In fact, she was the <em> only Northsider </em> to do so. I’m not excusing the past, but you can't use it to ignore the present. She became a Serpent Nana, she found a family with us, a place to belong, and you may have had an issue with it but no one else did. Even Grandpa said he understood her reasoning and accepted her as one of us.”</p><p>Her nana scoffs and Toni’s anger flairs once again. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And your nana cares not for the heart of the one wearing the crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you do, don’t you Toni? </em>
</p><p>“See that’s the problem right there.” Toni is unable to restrain the iciness in her voice, tidal waves of anger and frustration roll off her frame, carrying her words across the room with a sting. No matter what you’re always going to harbour this resentment, this hatred for everything she does. You’re not even willing to listen or try and see what I’m saying. You have it in your mind that all Blossoms are evil, and I know why and I understand, but why won’t you listen to me when I tell you she’s not like them?"</p><p>The elder Topaz is taken aback by the sheer venom dripping from her granddaughter’s voice, “<span>Antoinette</span> I, l-”</p><p>But Toni cuts her off, not done with releasing her pent up frustration. “You’re taking your anger at the actions of the past out on a <em> teenager </em> Nana, on the one Blossom that’s been hurt by this family perhaps almost as much as we have. Her father murdered her brother, her mother forced her into conversion therapy, she’s suffered verbal and physical abuse from her parents her entire life, and yet here you are pouring the sin of the past onto her shoulders as well, instead of taking a step back for one moment to see that she’s nothing like them.”</p><p>
  <b> <em>Toni loves you, ardently so, and to see the torment within her heart because of this, I implore you both to consider that hasn’t enough damage already been caused? Hasn’t the Topaz family suffered enough loss already? Hasn’t Toni endured enough hardship in her life? You’ve just begun to reconnect with her after all this time, please don’t allow that to be for naught. Please don’t allow the bond between you to be broken once more. </em> </b>
</p><p>The woman before her leans forward in her seat, her voice holding an edge of almost desperation, as if imploring Toni to change her mind and let go of her love. “Listen to me, the Blossom family has taken so much from our blood-”</p><p>A laugh escapes Toni’s lips, hollow and incredulous. She shakes her head in disbelief that her nana is <em> still going </em> with the same repeated words and once again ignoring everything she’s saying. “You know, you’re so hung up on family, so desperate to remind me of my blood, and yet where were you when your family, <em> when I, </em> needed you?”</p><p>The words are tumbling from Toni’s lips and she’s helpless to stop them. However, even if she could, she’s not entirely sure she’d be willing to. She’s finally voicing the things she’s been holding back from saying, finally allowing her frustration and upset at her nana’s actions be known. Tears that have been brimming within her eyes are threatening to fall and she’s helpless to stop the way her voice cracks, the emotion within it too great to be contained.</p><p>“Where were you when Dad got sent to jail and I was sent to live with an Uncle that couldn’t give less of a damn about me? You <em> knew </em> what was happening and yet you turned a blind eye. Where were you when the riots happened and I was left to live in a <em> tent? </em> I know we fell out of touch after Mom died, but you can’t just come into my life again and take charge. You didn’t even know where I was living and yet the second you learnt my home is with Cheryl you demanded me out of it, without so much as caring that I’ve finally got one.”</p><p>The elder Topaz is astounded, her mind racing to take in the icy words slicing through the heavy air, each word of truth falling from her granddaughter’s mouth feels like a stab to her heart. </p><p>In spite of being taken aback, she doesn’t try to interrupt, doesn’t try to stop the cascade of words being thrown at her. She knows her granddaughter needs to say this, knows that this is about more than just the events of recent weeks. <span>Antoinette's</span> been holding onto this for a long time and it shows. The pain being released is of old, scarred wounds that have healed on the surface but still sting deep within.</p><p>Toni’s voice carries with it more anguish with every word she speaks, frustration pouring out of her like a river, unable to be held back as her long sunken emotions bubble to the surface, carried by a current of anguish towards the woman before her. “Where were you when I needed someone? Every single time I looked to you, and you weren’t there. Plain and simple. But do you know who was there? Who gave me stability, safety, a <em> home? </em> Cheryl. Not you. <em> She did.” </em></p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But Cheryl gave you stability amongst it all, didn’t she Toni? </em>
</p><p>Toni watches her nana scramble to form a response, watches her lips part and close as her mind searches for something to say to appease her torment. Both of them are starkly aware that no words will be able to do as such, but it doesn’t stop the older woman from trying anyway. “<span>Antoinette</span>, your mother’s passing took a toll on us all, and then-” </p><p>A single tear escapes it’s barrier and makes its way down a soft cheek as others threaten to follow, and yet Toni doesn’t have the energy to wipe it away. She wants her pain to be known, to be seen. “No Nana, there’s no excuse! I lost Mom, and then I lost Dad too and you did nothing to stop me from being sent to live with a man so cruel he’d lock his niece out of her house for days on end. You removed yourselves from my life when I needed you most. And then Cheryl came along and finally I had someone. Finally there’s someone that has my back, that cares about me, that <em> loves </em> me, and you want to rip me away from her because of a name that she shuns almost as much as you do!” </p><p>Toni feels her heart breaking, except this time she’s not entirely sure she has it in her to pick the pieces up again once her nana leaves. She’d barely managed to glue them back together last time, the shattered pieces bound back together by Cheryl’s embrace and repaired by her hushed promises of love and healing with time. But after this, she’s certain that the pieces of her fragmented soul will be too broken, too fractured to be put back together again.</p><p>The dam bursts as a flood of tears stream from her eyes and her voice cracks, “you want to talk of bond and family, of kin and name? Cheryl’s my family, not because of blood but because I’ve chosen for her to be. And I’m hers because she’s chosen for me to be too.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p><p>“She’s not a name, she’s a <em> person. </em> She’s Cheryl, just Cheryl, and I’m in love with her. <em> Let there be no doubt.” </em> For someone so small, the sheer amount of frustration and hurt pouring out of Toni is staggering. </p><p>
  <em> But you don’t want any other rose, do you Toni? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For you cherish this one. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This rose amongst the thorns.</em>
</p><p>Toni narrows her eyes as she sneers, her voice tearing through the thick air. Raw, harsh, bitter truth is carried within the wake of her words, rippling across the room and lashing at the elder woman’s heart. “You talk of all that family has ripped from us, of the pain and hurt that name has caused ours, yet here you are doing just that. You’re the one causing me pain Nana, not Cheryl. You’re the one who made me choose. The person ripping this family apart isn’t a Blossom this time. It’s a Topaz. It’s <em> you.” </em></p><p>
  <b> <em>Toni is hurt by this, deeply so. Whilst she tries to hide it, it is obvious the pain due to everything that has taken place is rife within her and it is heartbreaking to witness. You’re both so incredibly important to her, and the thought of you no longer being in her life is tearing her apart.</em> </b>
</p><p>A stunned silence takes hold as Toni’s voice echoes around the room, ringing in their ears with a searing sharpness. Both women become lost in their thoughts, reeling from all that’s been said, adrenaline coursing through their veins as the heated tension is cut by Toni’s words. </p><p>For a while, neither woman moves to speak, both caught up in their minds and in shock from the words just spoken. The older Topaz sighs and shifts on the armchair. It’s clear to her there’s pain within her granddaughter's heart, and, in truth, it ails her to know that it’s there by her own hand. But there is also pain in her own heart, a throbbing ache that’s been pulsing within her chest long before <span>Antoinette</span> closed the door behind her two weeks ago. </p><p>Her mind flashes with a memory of a young <span>Antoinette</span>, one yet to be burdened with the pain and strife fate laid upon her. She thinks of how her granddaughter, once carefree and filled with a warming laughter, was left heartbroken after her mother’s passing, how they bonded over their mutual greif at the loss of Amy Topaz from this world. She thinks of how Toni’s visits to see her became few and far between as the years passed, her father too busy with his overwhelming grief to bring her, and <span>Antoinette</span> herself reminded all too painfully of her mother every time she saw her grandparents. </p><p>A feeling shared between them both but never spoken of. </p><p>For how could she ever tell her that the reason she slowly fell out of touch with her only grandchild is because her resemblance to her mother brought with it too much pain to bear? That seeing the eyes of her daughter staring back at her after she’d departed this world, made her heart weep with misery. <span>Antoinette</span> is her Mother’s daughter, and it brings her insurmountable grief to know that her daughter will never know it.</p><p>A quiet voice echoes across the room in stark contrast to the manner in which it tore through the air minutes ago. It’s a voice that carries with it a river cascading with emotion, ebbing and flowing with pent up feelings, previously held behind a dam of silent suffering. </p><p>“You say over and over reminders of the past and <em> I know that, </em> it’s my family's history too. You keep saying I’m ignoring it but you’re the one doing the ignoring Nana. You’re disregarding everything I say and it hurts. It hurts to know you don’t care about my feelings or what I have to say. It hurts that you think I’d ever forget what happened to our family, that I’d ever let go of the past, and it also pains me to know that you don’t care for my heart, for my love, you only care for your feelings and your words. I love Cheryl, Nana, I really, <em> truly, </em> love her, and I know she does me. And yet you care not for the fact I’ve finally found happiness and a home, you don’t care for what I feel about my own present, about <em> me.” </em></p><p>Toni’s voice holds in it a quiet anger and pained frustration, but the woman before is heavily aware of the anguish bubbling under the surface. She can feel the torment seeping from her granddaughter and it makes her chest ache. Her heart ails to hear her words, more than aware that <span>Antoinette</span> is deeply hurt by the rift between them and that the pain in her heart is currently there by her own hand. </p><p>
  <b> <em>To see Toni suffering like this, to put it plainly, it’s not right. She doesn’t deserve to know this agony, this torment. She’s already been subjected to so much in her life, already lost so much. Please don’t let her lose you too, please don't let her lose any more of her kin.</em> </b>
</p><p>She knows that whilst she herself lost her daughter, <span>Antoinette</span> didn’t only lose her mother. She lost her father not long after and then her life was uprooted as she was forced to move away from her home to start a new one with an uncle that didn’t want to know of her existence. She lost friends and neighbours, she lost her place in a decent school to be thrown into one where education wasn’t of importance and the teachers simply gave up. </p><p>She knows over recent years not only has her grandchild lost her home in the riots, she’d lost her place in the Serpents too. Although, when she thinks of that, a scoff echoes through her mind in ammunition of evidence to her judgement that the Blossom girl is no good. But then again, even she can’t deny that deep down she knows the truth is that in fact it’s FP’s boy that’s to blame, his own callous jealousness of <span>Antoinette's</span> legacy and favour amongst the Serpents being the reason he cast her out. Although she is aware that it’s been rectified - her mourning of the faked death of said boy combined with her husband’s influence had her jacket rightfully back on <span>Antoinette's</span> shoulders and the Serpent name across her back once more.</p><p>And, truth be told, if she’s honest the older Topaz knows that, throughout it all, she wasn’t there for her granddaughter, not as she should have been. Fleeting visits that were so few and far between she could count them on her fingers, amounted to nothing compared to how things should have been. She knows she should’ve reached out more, knows she should have done more to keep their dying contact, but she was too caught up in her own grief, too taken aback by the painful likeness to her daughter every time she saw her grandchild. </p><p>She draws in a breath and takes in the sight of <span>Antoinette</span>. She’s picking at the material of her t-shirt, her eyes downcast as the heated adrenaline is all but gone and now replaced by an uneasy nervousness at finally having voiced the words previously unsaid but excruciatingly felt. </p><p>She sighs before speaking softly, “<span>Antoinette</span> I know you care for this girl and I understand that she cares for you too, but you can’t allow matters of the heart to take precedence over kin.” Even as she says it Toni’s nana is starkly aware that, as of late, she can’t deny that perhaps the Blossom girl has in fact taken better care of her granddaughter than the kin she speaks of, than <em> herself. </em> </p><p>Toni swallows down the anger daring to rise within her once again and fights to keep her voice neutral as she looks up at the woman before her. “Nana, I’m not letting <em> matters of the heart </em> take precedence, I’m letting <em> myself </em> take precedence. I’m putting myself first. For once I’m making something about me, about <em> my feelings. </em> I love her Nana, and she loves me, and I refuse to let anything get in the way of that.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits Toni. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You won’t let this be the one that holds your love out. </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>I know the Blossom name brings you pain, and I know there is nothing that can be done to reverse or heal the damage brought upon your family by my ancestors, but I plead with you to put an end to the ripples of it. Please don’t let the curse that haunts my name touch yours. I beg of you not to allow any further pain of the past to cause agony in the present. Please don’t let more of the Topaz name be ripped from each other unjustly because of mine. </em> </b>
</p><p>“Nana, Cheryl and I hate her parents, <em>her</em> <em>name,</em> as much as you do. Penelope Blossom has committed heinous acts and evils that to this day I’m sure we don’t know the full extent of them. She sent her own daughter to conversion therapy, Clifford Blossom murdered his own son. They are holders of the Blossom name, undoubtedly so, but Cheryl, she just carries it. She got herself emancipated from her own mother as a result of the horrors that name has faced her with.”</p><p>The elder Topaz can’t deny that her heart had ached for the Blossom girl when she’d spoken of the ordeals she’s endured. She’s more than aware of the rumours and news that have spread like wildfire over the town regarding the Blossom family these past few years, and whilst she won’t pretend it didn’t bring her some warped feeling of justice to know the family that’d stolen so much from her’s was finally getting its retribution, she couldn’t help but empathise with the loss of a loved one. For she personally knows that unbearable grief and wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, even a Blossom. She casts her mind back to her and Cheryl’s conversation, to the obvious pain still rife within the redhead’s heart as she spoke both at the loss of her sibling and the things endured under her parent’s hands, and knows she can accept that she does truly understand the evils of the Blossom name.</p><p>Toni’s voice softens, her tone laced with a desperate imploring for her nana to listen to her words, not just hear them. “Has Cheryl benefited from the past and the Blossom sins? Has she grown up in a life of luxury and wealth gained from the extortion and murder of the Uktena, of our family? Yes, okay, undoubtedly so. But she’s also suffered under the Blossom name, she’s seen more than her fair share of horrors. She might bear the Blossom name, but she’s been a victim of it too. Just as our family has been, just as you and I have been.”</p><p>The woman across from her sighs and Toni finds herself rushing to continue. She’s desperate to make her nana see that she understands where she’s coming from, that she’s not ignoring the events of the past, it’s simply that the person in the present holds a space in her heart too. “Does it excuse the past and mean what happened is forgotten? No, absolutely not, <em> never. </em> But it’s time to acknowledge that not all roses have thorns. It’s time to see that the past doesn’t have to be carried through the ages like this. Is it still painful? Undoubtedly so. Is there still anger in my heart at what the Blossom ancestors did to mine, to <em> ours? </em> More than I can say. But the pain in my heart wasn’t put there by Cheryl Nana. It was put there by Blossoms of old, and she’s not like them Nana, she’s better, she’s <em> good.” </em></p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You know sin drips from the one that follows her.  </em>
</p><p>She can see the weight beginning to lift from her nana’s shoulders, can see her brow beginning to release it’s furrow, and Toni allows herself to acknowledge the tiny slither of hope that’s beginning to grow within her at the knowledge the woman before her is actually <em> listening. </em> “It’s not about what’s in a name, not to me Nana, it’s about what’s inside, what’s in her heart, <em> in her soul. </em> And I see good Nana, in spite of all she’s been through, in spite of the name that burdens her, I see good in her. I see someone that’s different, that’s better than the circumstances provided them. I love Cheryl, Nana, in spite of what she and others deemed her to be. I love her for the heart inside her, for her soul. I’m <em> in love </em> with her, for who she is, for being Cheryl, <em> just Cheryl</em>.”</p><p>
  <em> But what’s in a heart ? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You know it’s not rife with sin, but good. </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>I know you love <strong>Antoinette</strong>, and that you want to protect her and look out for her. I know you only want the best for her, to have only happiness and the good things the world has to offer. </em> </b>
</p><p>The older Topaz woman takes in the image of the girl on the sofa before her. How her shoulders slump and her eyes shine with worry, her fingers wringing together and absentmindedly playing with a loose thread of her t-shirt. </p><p>A thread. </p><p>It seems that’s all that’s holding her together. </p><p>She can see the toll the events of the past two weeks is taking on her granddaughter, and it pains her to know that it's from the actions of her own hand. She doesn’t want this for Antionette, doesn’t want her heart to be heavy and her shoulders burdened, doesn’t want her eyes to be filled with sorrow and her mind rife with doubt. She wants her to be happy, to be loved and cared for, and deep down, from the combination of the letter, the young Blossom’s words, and those of her granddaughter’s own, she’s finally ready to admit the source of her joy, finally knows what makes the light within her soul shine.</p><p>She sighs, “I love you <span>Antoinette</span>, and I don’t want things to be like this between us, but you must understand that the Blossom name is one that carries with it a great sin unto our family. A sin that cannot be simply forgotten or disregarded.” As she speaks her heart ails to practically see <span>Antoinette</span>’s shoulders slump further, the weight bearing down on her heart growing a little heavier at the thought that still, even after all she’s said already, her nana is still saying the same words, still talking of the past and not seeing her present.</p><p>Toni’s voice is soft at first, but as she speaks it grows louder, more certain, the fight for her love still shining within her. “I understand Nana, truly I do, and I haven’t forgotten, not for one second. I know our relationship has been a turbulent one, and I know that we fell out of touch when Mom died, but I’ve never forgotten all you taught me when I was young. You taught me to be aware of the truth behind the history of this town, and I am. But you also taught me to be someone that doesn’t settle for the masquerade and hearsay, to be someone that searches for the truth no matter what. And I have done my whole life, and that includes with Cheryl, Nana.”</p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>The spark that ignites when she talks of Cheryl is undeniable, <em> the truth of her feelings is undeniable. </em> “She is of Blossom blood, yes, and at first glance she’s someone who was bitter and resentful. She had an anger within her and lashed out at anyone that got too close. But I looked past the facade Nana, just as you always taught me to do so, and underneath the mask of her name, underneath the layers of protection built around herself, there was a girl that’d lost so much and was just desperate to be <em> seen. </em> To be viewed not through the eyes of others, to think of her not through the opinions of others or the name that follows her. You taught me to look for the truth, always, and the truth Nana, is that she’s not of the Blossom evil, she’s not the sin of the past, she doesn’t carry with her the damnation of her ancestors. She’s just a girl, desperate to be loved and to <em> give </em> love. Yearning to be happy and belong somewhere, to be seen, not for what others deem her to be, but as she truly is.”</p><p>
  <em> But you don’t want to take off this one, do you Toni? </em>
</p><p>The certainty, the <em> love, </em> shining within her granddaughter’s eyes is unmistakably clear, the strength within her voice is unwavering, her words holding nothing but sheer sincerity. “She gives me a <em> home </em> Nana, not just this house, but within her heart. She feels like home, being next to her, I feel like I belong there Nana, <em> I know I do. </em> Have there been mess ups, yeah of course there have, but at the end of the day, they were sorted, they were fixed. They were learnt from, because that’s what happens when something goes wrong, you grow from it. And that’s what I’m trying to do. You keep saying I’ve forgotten the past, but I haven’t, I’m just not willing to let it cause more damage. I know what the Blossom’s of the past did to our family, but I also know what this person of the present, what <em> Cheryl, </em> is doing now. Is there still pain in my heart? Yes. Is there still anger in me? Absolutely. But I’m not willing to let the feud of ancients stop the love of the present, and, hopefully, the future.”</p><p>
  <em> For you know it’s not made of thorns don’t you Toni? </em>
</p><p>“The things you think of her name, of her ancestors, I understand Nana, and I too think of them the same. But not Cheryl. She’s different Nana, she’s not a Blossom, not in her heart, not to me, she’s Cheryl. She’s just Cheryl, and I love her for it.”</p><p>
  <em> Not thorns, but petals of a rose beginning to blossom.</em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>I also know that my name has given you no reason to believe that I can provide her with any of the good Toni deserves to know, but I swear to you that every day I do my best to. For Toni deserves the best of everything, of that much we are both aware.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>But that means a life with you both in it too. </em> </b>
</p><p>The older Topaz sighs and finds her gaze once again falling upon the photo on the mantelpiece. The happiness in her grandchild’s face is undeniable, and she can’t help but admit that so too is the joy shining in the eyes of the girl holding her. She finds her lips begging to twist upwards in spite of the situation, and she’s helpless to do otherwise because god the image <em> radiates love. </em> </p><p>There’s no doubt, her granddaughter is happy. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p><p>Happier than she’s been as of late. </p><p>
  <em> Except you know the reason for <span>Antoinette</span>’s unease, don’t you? </em>
</p><p>Happier than she’s been because of <em> her.  </em></p><p>
  <em> You know it’s because of you. </em>
</p><p>The older Topaz shifts in the armchair and looks back at her grandchild, “I didn’t come here to argue with you <span>Antoinette</span>, I don’t want things to be ill between us. I can see there is pain in your soul and don’t want that for you, I want you to be happy, to live a good life.” </p><p>Toni nods, because in spite of all the torment of the past weeks, the anguish that’s flowed through her, she knows. She knows that’s all her nana wants for her, for all this time, that’s what she’s been trying to make her see, that she has those things.</p><p>She has them with Cheryl.</p><p>She just wants her nana to understand that.</p><p>And she thinks her nana is finally beginning to, is finally willing to listen. </p><p><em> “I love her nana. </em> She makes me happy, and that’s all I’ve been trying to tell you, that she, that <em> Cheryl, </em> gives me the things you wish for me to have. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, that surely that should make you happy? To know your grandchild has someone in her life that brings her joy, that cares for her, that she has a home with. I have love Nana, Cheryl <em> loves me, </em> surely that’s the most important thing?”</p><p>Toni’s nana releases a shaky exhale. “It does make me happy to know you have that, for it’s what you deserve to have. I don't want to lose you <span>Antoinette</span>, I don’t want things to be like this between us, but you have to understand that the name she bears brings with it a pain that can’t be forgotten.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name, Toni? </em>
</p><p>Toni nods and tries to keep her voice calm, knowing that the woman before her is finally listening, <em> finally </em> hearing what she’s saying. “I understand Nana and I haven’t forgotten, I never will. But you have to understand that the Blossom name haunts her too. She bears it but she also carries its burdens, the pain inflicted on her at its hand.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in her name? </em>
</p><p>“Those that hold the Blossom name have done terrible things Nana, but not her, <em> not Cheryl. </em> She's trying to make things better, trying to make the Blossom name atone for the sins of the past. And besides, she’s not a Blossom, not really, not to me, she’s Cheryl.”</p><p>
  <em> What’s in her? </em>
</p><p>Toni can’t help the way her lips twitch upwards as she talks of the girl who holds her heart. “She’s Cheryl, and she makes me happy. She makes my heart warm and my soul thrive. She has <em> good </em> in her Nana, she has kindness in her soul and love in her heart, and she gives it to me, and I to her. She’s just Cheryl Nana, and I love her for it.”</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I’m not asking for you to necessarily accept myself or mine and </em>
  </b>
  <strong>
    <em>Antoinette</em>
    <em>’</em>
  </strong>
  <b>
    <em>s relationship, I am starkly aware that my name has caused yours too much torment for that to ever be likely. I am purely, humbly, asking for you to reconsider the ultimatum given to her, to undo the removal of yourselves from her life. </em>
  </b>
</p><p>The elder Topaz drops her gaze to her own hands and watches her fingers as they fidget together, taking note of how they innately gravitate towards the band around her finger.</p><p>A band that symbolizes a promise.</p><p>A band of love.</p><p>A band that she hopes <span>Antoinette</span> one day will wear too.</p><p>She releases a shaky exhale and lifts her gaze, eyes filled with sincerity falling upon her grandchild, “I love you <span>Antoinette</span>, you’re my granddaughter, I just want what’s good for you, what’s best for you.” </p><p>Toni nods, “I know you do Nana, but I also know that that’s Cheryl. She’s good for me. She makes me happy. I don’t want to lose you from my life Nana, but I also refuse to lose Cheryl.”</p><p>Toni’s nana drops her eye line back to the ring encasing her finger. She thinks of her hopes for <span>Antoinette</span>, for her life and she knows that she doesn’t want to miss out on them. She doesn’t want to miss out on her granddaughter’s future because of a feud born of the past. She thinks of the milestones yet to come, her impending graduation, college, of the life she has ahead of her, and she knows that for her to miss out on witnessing <span>Antoinette</span> achieve her dreams would be the biggest regret she’d ever know.</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>“I know <span>Antoinette</span>, and,” she lifts her gaze, “I, don’t want to lose you either. I already lost my daughter, for you to be gone from my life too, I, it’s not something I would ever forgive myself for.” </p><p>
  <em> And you won’t the limits of the past hold out the love of kin, will you? </em>
</p><p>Toni sighs and feels the weight heave itself off her heart and escape her body along with her breath. She’s helpless to stop the fresh tears that spring in her eyes and the hope that blossoms within her heart. </p><p>
  <b> <em>The Topaz family deserves better than to be continued to be torn apart by the sins of the past.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Toni deserves better. </em> </b>
</p><p>The older Topaz thinks of the young Blossom waiting in the kitchen. She casts her mind back to her words, of the vulnerable truth spoken of the pain inflicted upon her by the Blossom name, <em> her name, </em> of all it’s taken from her. She thinks of the unease radiating from the redhead as she’d bared her soul, as she’d spoken words of such honesty in attempt to convey the reasoning as to why she’d written the letter, why she’d reached out to the person that’d all but handed her over to Lucifer her very self, why she’d risked further damnation of her soul.</p><p>That she’d done it for her.</p><p>That she’d do <em> anything </em> for her.</p><p>
  <em> For Toni </em>
</p><p>She casts her memory over the way in which the second she’d asked of her <em> that question, </em> the girl before her had become a statuesque figure of certainty; of pure, raw, <em> sincere </em>honesty. She thinks of how for all the tumbling words of eloquence and monologues of her past and pain, when it came to her answer, her words were plain and true. How, in spite of knowing the angered resentment held towards her name by the woman before her, Cheryl had spoken so definitively of her ardent adoration of <span>Antoinette</span> Topaz. </p><p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. </em>
</p><p>She thinks of how, for all Cheryl’s uncertainty, her apprehension, there was nothing but devout conviction within her as she spoke of the promise carried deep within her heart. </p><p>
  <em> But there was no unease when she spoke of her love. </em>
</p><p>She knows Cheryl cares for <span>Antoinette</span>, knows she loves her. And not some idealistic thought of what love is or should be, not some contrived recreation of the fictitious tales of the screen or melodies of songs. For all the masquerade she’d spoken of before, when it came to answering her question, it became fervently clear that Cheryl doesn’t love her granddaughter in some act of besotted fancy. No, the youngest Blossom is deeply, truly, <em> purely, </em> in love with <span>Antoinette</span>.</p><p>And it’s not from the redhead’s lips that came this truth, nor her words that carried with them these sentiments. It wasn’t a deliberate act that the elder Topaz had bared witness to that had shown the honesty within the Blossom’s soul, for her love laid not truly in her heart, but in her eyes. For when she spoke of <span>Antoinette</span>, those brown orbs shone with a light that can’t be forged, an oath sworn to be kept until the last breath leaves her lungs. Her eyes held in them a warmth, a joy, at the knowledge that <em> she </em> is the one deemed worthy enough to hold Antionette’s heart. Cheryl’s eyes, they held within them a fire burning with raw, utter devotion. </p><p>A devotion that shone abundantly clear when she watched as said eyes fell upon <span>Antoinette</span>, as Cheryl had taken her in her arms and looked upon her with a gaze so tender, so delicate, that not even rose petals fall in comparison. She’d beared witness to murmured words of support and reassurance, to the instant security and comfort her granddaughter felt as gentle lips had pressed atop her head. She watched as two people had reached for each other without even lifting a hand. </p><p>The elder Topaz knows of their connection, knows it’s one that surpasses that of some childish sentiment. No, theirs is one that runs deeper than most will have the fortune to know. For theirs is a bonding of two souls fated to find each other across every expanse, a fealty sworn not in words but in the perfect syncopation of hearts that beat for each other. </p><p>She may not know much in truth about the girl her grandchild is fighting so valiantly for, she may still be weary and holding onto the assumption of name in spite of testimonials of her heart, but for all her supposition of the youngest Blossom, she cannot deny that she knows one thing with incontestable certainty. </p><p>Cheryl loves <span>Antoinette</span>.</p><p>And it’s indisputably obvious that her granddaughter feels exactly the same way. </p><p>And it should be wrong. It should be overridden by the feud of ancient grudge, the hate of old preventing love of new.</p><p>It should be fated to never happen.</p><p>And yet it has.</p><p>And hearing them talk of each other, seeing their interactions, witnessing the way their souls reach for each other, how they hold each other's hearts so carefully, so <em> lovingly, </em> the truth is irrefutably clear.</p><p>
  <em> And stony limits cannot hold it out. </em>
</p><p>A Topaz and a Blossom are in love.</p><p>
  <em> There’s no doubt. </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Please don’t let my name be the reason you lose her from yours.</em> </b>
</p><p>The elder Topaz knows the answer, knows what must come of this. </p><p>For she knows that her granddaughter holds a promise in her heart. A promise sworn in reciprocation within the heart of one bearing the very name that’s the cause of the pain in her own.</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>But in truth, what’s in a person?</p><p>What’s in a heart?</p><p>
  <b>Love.</b>
</p><p>
  <em> And stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p><p>She nods, for she knows what must be done. She knows that her granddaughter has already suffered enough by fate’s cruel hand, that she’s already known more loss than one ever should. </p><p>There are more important things than feuds of ancient, than ripples of the past lashing against the hope of the future. </p><p>She knows that Cheryl brings <span>Antoinette</span> things she’s been searching for, <em> craving, </em> things that she herself failed to provide. It’s undeniable that she’s happy, that she is content and cared for, that she is beginning to live the life she deserves to know, one that is a far cry from the one attempted to be forced upon her by the universe’s cruel forced circumstance.</p><p>She’s not ready to let go of the pain of the past, if she’s honest she’s not sure she ever will be. But she is ready to accept that that’s where the sin lies, to acknowledge that at some point you have to draw a line in the ground, no matter how soiled the earth. </p><p>That sometimes, if determined enough, from the dirt, something beautiful can grow.</p><p>That if you’re willing to look hard enough, you’ll see that a rose lies amongst the thorns.</p><p>
  <em> A rose that’s trying its hardest to Blossom. </em>
</p><p>“<span>Antoinette</span>, I-” She can’t help but feel an ache in her chest as she watches sparks of hope leave her grandchild’s eyes in watery escape. “I need time. I can’t promise you that this will come easy for us, <em> for me.” </em> </p><p>
  <em> For stony limits couldn’t hold your love out, could they Toni?  </em>
</p><p>“But I see how you feel about her, I see the way your eyes shine when you speak of her, I see a lightness to you that I never have before. So I- as hard as it will be to do so, I can accept that this Blossom, <em> Cheryl, </em> isn't a product of the past, that she doesn’t carry with her the sins of her ancestors. I’m not saying I’m ready to move on from what those of the Blossom name have done to our family, and I still harbour anger in my heart, but I can accept your words when you say she’s different. I can believe you when you say you haven’t forgotten the past and yet you still see her as worthy of your present.”</p><p>
  <em> And what your love could do that dared your love attempt. </em>
</p><p>The sob that escapes <span>Antoinette</span>’s chest has her heart racing within her own. “So, we’ll need time, your grandfather and I, but, I- I can accept your love for this girl, and I can accept that she loves you just as much.”</p><p>
  <em> Therefore your kinsmen were no stop to you, were they Toni? </em>
</p><p>“<span>Antoinette</span> I-, I love you, and that’s the most important thing. I don’t want to lose you, and so, I won’t forbid this, I won’t stand in the way of your love.”</p><p>Tears are cascading down Toni’s cheeks and she finds herself unable to trust her voice enough to speak and so simply nods. She can’t quite believe that she’s hearing these words. That the sheer anguish she’s suffered the past two weeks wasn't for naught. That after countless tears shed and unrelenting sneers of demons tormenting her mind, of all the pain held within her heart, it’s finally over.</p><p>Finally her nana is willing to see the rose amongst the thorns.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Please, I beg of you. </em> </b>
</p><p>“I’m not saying this will be easy, but I’m saying I will try, for you. And so, I accept your relationship with a Blossom, with Cheryl. You have my blessing <span>Antoinette</span>, your love has my blessing.”</p><p>
  <em> For stony limits.  </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>For Toni</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> What’s in a name? </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sincerely, </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> Not a thorn but a rose. </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Cheryl Marjorie Blossom.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> A Blossom. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Taa daa!</p><p>I hope you enjoyed it and let me know your thoughts!</p><p>Until next time (hopefully Tuesday)</p><p>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. For stony limits cannot hold love out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello :D</p>
<p>Oh my goodness it's the final chapter :O<br/>(I know I lied about Tuesday, but hey ho!)</p>
<p>Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck this out with me, I know it's taken a lot longer than originally planned - but hey ho life was a thing and it's finished eventually right?!</p>
<p>Thank you so so much to those that have helped keep me going, you know who you are and I am so unbelievably greatful to you all.</p>
<p>There is a tiny TW for the smallest mention of death and drugs, but it's nothing more than a mention within a sentence.</p>
<p>I'll stop rambling and let you read now, and as always you know comments and thoughts give me life and make Nigel smile, so please feel more than welcome to leave them!</p>
<p>Luce :D</p>
<p>Twitter: @TheNigelTopaz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The unmistakable sound of the front door closing pulls Cheryl from her mindless scrolling through Twitter. She swallows thickly as a rush of anxiety jolts through her, making itself comfortable in the pit of her stomach. </p>
<p><em> This is it. </em> </p>
<p>There’s no going back, no more chances, whatever the result of this evening’s words, it’s <em> final. </em></p>
<p>She has no clue as to the outcome of the conversation that’s just transpired in the living room, no idea as to the words that have been spoken between kin. What she does know, however, is that it’s been over an hour since she opened the door to reveal the elder Topaz and she’s drained from the apprehension that’s been coursing through her ever since. </p>
<p>Whilst she’d like to hope her letter to Toni’s grandparents, coupled with her display of raw, utter vulnerability, has helped to bring the elder Topaz here and have said conversation with an open mind, she’s also starkly conscious that it’s Toni who’s words ultimately matter most. It’s her girlfriend, if anyone, that will be the one to get through to her nana. She just so desperately hopes that she’s been able to.</p>
<p>Cheryl waits for a moment assuming that Toni will come and find her, but when a minute passes without the slightest sound of movement, she begins to worry. She locks her phone before sliding it into the back pocket of her jeans and making her way to the door leading to the hallway. She opens it gently, careful to acknowledge that if Toni is lost in thought any harsh movement will startle her. </p>
<p>As she steps foot into the hallway she’s met with the sight of Toni’s back. The smaller girl is slumped forwards with her forehead pressed against the door, her hand still resting on the wood from where she’d pushed it shut.</p>
<p>Seeing Toni stood like this has Cheryl’s mind transporting itself back into the memory of when her love returned home after that fateful afternoon two weeks ago. The unease resting in the depths of her core begins to shift, as if the instability is beginning to create waves that any moment could turn into a typhoon and come crashing down over them both. The way Toni’s breath hitches informs Cheryl that her girlfriend is aware of her presence, yet still she remains with her back to her and her forehead pressed against the door.</p>
<p> For a moment, the redhead feels more lost than she ever has in the entirety of her life. Because in this moment, she has absolutely no idea what’s about to happen, no knowledge of what will unfold in this new chapter of their love. </p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head Cheryl. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And what’s to become of your crown? </em>
</p>
<p>The foyer is filled only with an air stifled by growing tension and the sound of Toni’s heavy, yet shaky breaths. If Cheryl’s honest, Toni’s actions are scaring her. She has no clue as to what is about to transpire and, as life has always taught her to, she’s fearing the worst. She's unable to ignore the way her heart plummets, as if she’s fallen from the tightrope completely and is now clinging on with only one hand. </p>
<p>And her grip is<em> slipping.  </em></p>
<p>She’s dreading that the girl that she’s so emphatically in love with is currently trying to search for the right words to shatter her as gently as she can. </p>
<p>“TT? My sweet?” Her voice is timid, she’s terrified that this could very well be their last moment before Toni turns around and her heart is fractured forever. </p>
<p>A beat passes before her love sniffs quietly and turns around to face her, looking up at her with pitiful doe eyes as thick tears cascade down her cheeks and Cheryl <em> freezes. </em></p>
<p>She wants to all but run to the smaller girl and pull her into the most loving embrace she can muster, she wants so badly to hold her, to comfort her and whisper words almost as sweet as the girl in her arms. The tiny beacon of light illuminating the sanctuary within the darkness in her mind may be about to flicker and die, but she can’t help but yearn to reach out and touch it anyway. </p>
<p>And yet she stays still, her body unwilling to move in spite of her desperation for it to. </p>
<p>Because all she can think of is how this being of pure love and good yet again has rivers of sorrow dampening her perfect little cheeks and how <em> goddamn unfair </em> it is. The amount of pain, of torment Toni has been through is plain fucking <em> wrong, </em> and yet here she is once again, the vision of utter sadness.</p>
<p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl.  </em>
</p>
<p>She yearns to wrap her up in a tight embrace of pure comfort, but she just can’t force her body to move. Because <em> what if? </em>What if this is their end, the full stop on the story of them? What if Toni heard her nana’s words?</p>
<p>
  <em> But what if they’ve held your love out after all? </em>
</p>
<p>What if she’s listened to them?</p>
<p>What if she’s <em> accepted them? </em></p>
<p>
  <em> What if you truly are a thorn after all? </em>
</p>
<p>“You wrote a letter.”</p>
<p>It's a statement not a question, and whilst she’d assumed Toni’s nana would inform her granddaughter of her actions, Cheryl finds herself faltering at the quiet confirmation that her love knows of what she’d done. She can’t help but take note of the fact that, other than her tears, the smaller girl’s voice is devoid of any emotion, leaving her unable to determine her current feelings towards her actions. Paired with the image of her love before her, Cheryl is <em> terrified. </em></p>
<p>Her gaze drops to the floor, unable to look at Toni as she speaks. She can’t help the way her voice shakes, the way the words tumble from her lips in a nervous ramble as if somehow, <em> some way, </em> if she says the right thing, she can convince Toni to stay. “I- yes TT, did. I know that it wasn’t really my place to and I didn’t even know if it would do anything really, but gosh cheriè, you’ve been so tormented by this and, <em> I love you so much Toni, </em> and seeing you in such <em> pain </em> broke my heart, I couldn’t sit idle any longer and not <em> try </em> to-”</p>
<p>The tiny body that slams into her own catches her off guard, sending her staggering back a step. A petite frame falls flush with her own as arms wrap around her neck and pink locks tickle her skin as a damp face is pressed into her neck.</p>
<p>“Thank you Cher, I- just, thank you.”</p>
<p>The jolt of doubt that’s been undulating in her stomach burns away and is instead replaced with a ray of hope.</p>
<p>Hope that Toni wasn’t about to inform her their relationship could be no more, that she hasn’t listened to the words of condemnation pouring from her nana’s mouth. That this isn’t about to be the end of them.</p>
<p>Cheryl wraps her arms around Toni, holding her close into her body and presses a kiss atop pink locks before pulling back slightly to look down at the keeper of her heart. Only when rich, brown orbs meet her own does the redhead realise that the look within Toni’s eye isn’t pain, that her shoulders don’t slump with pressure, but relief. As she takes in the look upon her beloved’s face, Cheryl allows herself to hope that maybe Toni’s tears weren’t born of sorrow.</p>
<p>But of joy.</p>
<p>Cheryl feels her lips twist upwards “Oh my sweet girl, you don’t need to thank me. I did what I did gladly, but, baby, tonight, this wasn’t my doing.”</p>
<p>A look of confusion presents itself by way of a frown writing itself across Toni’s brow, “but Cher, Nana came here because of it, because of what you said to her-”</p>
<p>Cheryl lifts a pale hand to brush her fingers over Toni’s cheek, tenderly caressing her soft skin and wiping away the residue of her tears. Her lips twist upwards as she drinks in the image of the girl before her, of the utter precious perfection that is Toni Topaz. “No TT, my letter may have aided in that, and I’m delighted to think that it mighten have, but in truth my love, it was all you. For in all honesty my letter didn’t bring your nana here, it may have given her a push, but she did it of her own will. She wouldn’t have come until she was ready, until she was willing. She didn’t come here because of me, she came here for you.”</p>
<p>Cheryl knows that as much as she’d love to think that she was the reason for, what she hopes, is a happy ending to this tale of woe, in actuality she’d done nothing more than play her part. </p>
<p>For no one could have <em> brought </em> Toni’s nana here, no amount of words could have written a path back to her grandchild, no, that’s something the elder Topaz had to do on her own. And she had, for a reason Cheryl knew all too well - for the avoidance of any more pain at another loss of someone she loves. Both Topaz women have already lost so much and neither one deserved to know the torment of yet another departure of kin. All Cheryl had done was remind Toni’s nana of such. </p>
<p>No, the elder Topaz hadn’t come here due to what she’d done, what she’d said. Sure it may have helped, but in truth she’d come for one reason, and one reason only.</p>
<p>
  <em> For her kin. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>For her love.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>For Toni.</em> </b>
</p>
<p>The redhead can’t help the way her heart flutters as Toni once again buries her head into her shoulder and tightens her grip around her neck. </p>
<p><em> God this girl.</em> </p>
<p>Cheryl’s not sure it’s physically possible to hold any more love in her heart for this being of sheer perfection, and yet each day she feels it growing. With each kiss, each smile, <em> each breath, </em> she finds herself falling deeper and deeper, tumbling further into the well that holds her love for Antoinette Topaz.</p>
<p>They stay like that for a while, both relishing this moment of quiet content and finding comfort in the way their frames fit together so perfectly. Cheryl smiles at the thought that it’s simply yet another silent confirmation that they’re made for each other.</p>
<p>After a few minutes, Toni’s voice breaks them from their bubble. She doesn’t pull away from her place buried into Cheryl’s shoulder and thus the taller girl has to focus to hear her somewhat muffled words. “Cher she, my nana, she said that she needs time but that she accepts our relationship. That she doesn’t want to lose me from her life and that she gives her love our blessing.” </p>
<p>
  <em> For stony limits, Cheryl. </em>
</p>
<p>Only when she feels a tingle trickle down her collarbone does she register that Toni’s crying.</p>
<p>Although she now knows for sure they’re not streams of sorrow but of joy, of <em> relief. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> And Toni proved her love can do anything. </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl doesn’t pull away, instead she tightens her hold on the girl in her arms and presses a plethora of kisses atop her head, unable to ignore the way tears of her own begin to well in her eyes. “Oh TT, you did it my sweet girl. I’m so glad your nana came around, you did it mon tresor.”</p>
<p>
  <em> No kinsmen could put a stop to it. </em>
</p>
<p>The smaller girl pulls back to look up at her love, her lips turned upwards in a smile that has Cheryl’s heart racing. Toni unwraps one arm from around the taller girl’s neck to instead cup her cheek and gazes at Cheryl with a look that has the breath rushing from the redhead’s lungs. “No Cher, <em> we </em> did it. My nana, she said that she saw our love, that she couldn’t ignore how happy you make me, that I love you, and you love me.”</p>
<p>Toni’s words have Cheryl’s heart thudding behind its ribbed enclosure. </p>
<p>‘<em>She saw our love.’ </em></p>
<p>After all they’ve been through, after the unrelenting agony coursing through Toni these past weeks, after the guilt and loss, the sorrow and grief, it was their love for each other that broke through the elder Topaz’s walls.</p>
<p>The demons within her mind echo the words once sneered at her by Penelope, words she once believed.</p>
<p>
  <em> You’ve never known love Cheryl, except to rip it apart. </em>
</p>
<p>Except that’s not true, is it Cheryl? </p>
<p>You do know love. </p>
<p>Toni gives it to you, and shows you how to give it in return.</p>
<p>
  <em> And stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl leans forward and captures Toni’s lips in a breathtaking kiss. It’s tender and delicate, yet burning with an intense passion, a desperation to convey just how deeply lies the well of love she has for this being of utter perfection.</p>
<p>It’s a kiss that is bestowed so sweetly, so gently, and yet stokes the glowing inferno of their love. A love that burns with an unsaid promise, illuminating even the darkest parts of themselves.</p>
<p>
  <em> A light, shining for all to see. </em>
</p>
<p>It’s a moment of pure, raw, human connection, of two souls unifying and a bond growing ever stronger. Neither knows how long passes, it could be seconds, could be years, for there is only the feeling of each other's lips against their own. There is only the pulsating thrum of their hearts, drumming in perfect syncopation, echoing the base beat of a song only they two can hear and yet will play on forever.</p>
<p>
  <em> If music be the food of love, after all. </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl breaks the kiss, pulling back to tuck an errant lock of pink behind Toni’s ear, watching the movement of her hand as she does. Pale fingers move to caress the soft skin of a tanned cheek, relishing in the knowledge that the girl before her is no dream, isn’t some fictitious conjuring of her lonely imagination; but in fact is very real, and Cheryl is the one deemed worthy enough to touch her.</p>
<p>The taller girl shifts her gaze from where her fingers dance over Toni’s freckles and feels her breath hitch as rich brown orbs meet her own. For Toni is looking up at her with eyes filled with nothing but warmth and love and <em> god </em> Cheryl knows that there is nothing she wouldn’t do for this being of utter ardent perfection, that for Toni she would walk to the ends of the earth and far beyond.</p>
<p>When Cheryl speaks, it’s barely above a whisper, and yet it feels like thunder echoing around them, “I do Toni. I love you, so deeply, so wholly that I will never truly be able to comprehend just how much. The love I have for you is immeasurable, unquantifiable. There will never be any way to fully explain just how ardently in love with you I am, Toni Topaz, and yet I shall spend the rest of my life trying to do exactly that.”</p>
<p>A lone tear spills from Toni’s eye, however is captured by the pale fingers still caressing her cheek. As she speaks, emotion undulates within her voice, ebbing with warmth and flowing with an unspoken fealty, “I love you too Cher, so much. I’m in love with you, with all I am. I always will be.”</p>
<p>
  <em> There was never any doubt. </em>
</p>
<p>Their lips meet again in a seering display of utter devotion. Toni’s hand still cups Cheryl’s cheek as she brings her other to hold the back of her neck, her fingers splaying into red locks. The taller girl drops her hand from Toni’s cheek to rest too at the back of her neck, pulling her love impossibly closer into her body. </p>
<p>Their lips dance together, each meeting filled with more passion, more need than the previous. Warmth radiates from them as they pour their emotions into the kiss, saying all they wish to without voicing a word.</p>
<p>At some point Cheryl turns them in order to guide Toni backwards against the wall, the smaller girl unable to help the moan that escapes her as her back falls into contact with it. She moves the hand cupping the back of Cheryl’s neck upwards to tangle her fingers amidst fiery locks, pulling on them slightly, and can’t help the way her heart pounds as Cheryl emits a moan of her own. </p>
<p>They lose themselves in the moment, hands trailing over bodies, cherry red lips moving lower to greedily caress the soft skin of Toni’s neck. Their breath is heavy, the air filled with elicitations of pleasure as the smaller girl tilts her head back to meet the wall with a soft thud in order to allow Cheryl’s lips more space for their assault upon her skin.</p>
<p>The energy surrounding them is charged with want, jolts of desire spark through their bodies and warm their cores with a desperate need to be as close as possible. Cheryl’s lips trail upwards, dancing a path along the underside of Toni’s jaw until they once again meet the soft pillows of her lips. She lifts a pale hand to cup her love’s throat, winning a gasp of approval from the smaller girl. Cheryl’s hold is gentle yet deliberately preventative of allowing Toni a reprieve from the way cherry lips hungrily move against her own. A moan echoes between them as the redhead feels another pull against her hair and pearly teeth bite down teasingly on her bottom lip before releasing it slowly. </p>
<p>Cheryl pulls back, opening her eyes as she does, and is met with brown orbs burning with a heated want. The hand tangled in her hair releases its grip and comes to rest against the back of her neck as she moves her own hand, currently on Toni’s throat, up to cup her cheek and rubs her thumb over her bottom lip, her eyes following her movement.</p>
<p>A taunting smirk ebbs itself across Toni’s lips and Cheryl feels the flowing desire within her grow warmer still.</p>
<p>“Upstairs, <em> now.” </em></p>
<p>—————-</p>
<p>Hours later finds them nestled together amidst the sheets of their bed, both suitably content and basking in each other’s presence and their closeness. </p>
<p>Cheryl hums as she feels plump lips press a delicate kiss to her sternum and pries her eyes open to reveal a sight that has her breath hitching in her throat. </p>
<p>Toni is laid practically on top of her, her front almost flush with her own and head resting on her chest as their legs tangle together. The sheets are pushed back to rest along the base of her spine, leaving both of their bare torsos uncovered, and thus Cheryl is able to rake her eyes over her love’s toned back. </p>
<p>She moves her arm from its current hold around Toni’s waist to trace her fingers tenderly over the bare expanse of soft skin laid before her. Her lips curve upwards as a soft sigh of content escapes her girlfriend’s mouth and ghosts across her chest, and <em> god </em> how she is the one deemed worthy enough to share moments like this with Toni she’ll never know.</p>
<p>
  <em> A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But she isn’t a rose, is she Cheryl? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Rather the most precious of gemstones. </em>
</p>
<p>The redhead closes her eyes once more, relishing in the moment of tranquil serenity after hours of heated desire. For a moment the room is still, save from the rise and fall of their chests and Cheryl’s fingers trailing over Toni’s skin. The only sound is that of their quiet breaths, until Toni speaks up, her voice hushed with peacefulness yet laced with a curiosity, “Cher? Can I ask you something?”</p>
<p>A contented hum echoes around the room in response. </p>
<p>“Why- the letter, why did you write it?”</p>
<p>The question takes her aback and Cheryl’s mind flashes with the memory of the elder Topaz echoing Toni’s words. Her answer remains the same, she did it for her. </p>
<p>
  <em> For Toni. </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl keeps her eyes closed, but her pale hand pauses its tracing of Toni’s back whilst she collects her thoughts. After a moment, her fingers resume their dance across soft skin as she begins to speak in a quiet, yet sure, voice. “I’ve lost so much over the years TT, as have you, but the thing is, apart from dear JJ, the things I lost were of no value, no real worth. And then you came into my life and gosh it <em> scared </em> me. It scared me because finally, after all I’ve been through, I had someone to call my own, someone that I knew I could never bear to know the loss of.”</p>
<p>A quiet gasp echoes around the room and Cheryl can feel Toni tilting her head on her shoulder, looking upwards to meet her eye. However, the redhead maintains her closed eyelids, not quite ready yet to open them and witness Toni’s reaction to her words, not yet certain she’s ready to take the final step into total vulnerability. </p>
<p>She does however, continue with her explanation. Her voice is steady but filled with a raw honesty, a sincerity - that all too often - only Toni is allowed to bear witness to. “It ailed my soul to know you were hurting cheriè, to know you were facing devastation and loss because of the sin of my name. Although I knew the risks of my actions I couldn’t help but feel this need to <em> try </em> to do something to fix it. I didn’t know if it would work, or if it would even do anything, but I wrote that letter because the person I love most on this god forsaken earth was in pain, and I had to do something to try and stop it.”</p>
<p>
  <em> You had to try, didn’t you Cheryl? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You couldn’t let kinsmen be a stop to you.  </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl opens her eyes now and tilts her face slightly in order to meet the gaze of the girl looking up at her. Toni’s eyes shine with warmth but also widen at her girlfriend’s admission. It’s as if after all this time, she still can’t quite believe that someone loves her as deeply as Cheryl does. </p>
<p>The redhead sends Toni a smile and lifts the hand currently tracing patterns across her back to instead comb through pink locks tenderly. A quiet takes over as she pauses for a moment, and Toni waits patiently, knowing that in revelations of vulnerability, Cheryl often needs a second to collect her thoughts, and also to remind herself that it’s okay to trust people with the truths of her heart.</p>
<p>Cheryl’s eyes follow the movement of her fingers through Toni’s hair and when she speaks again there’s a wistfulness to her voice, “before I met you TT, I’d spent so many years searching for what I thought love was, for this seemingly unattainable thing that I was destined to never know. I believed my mother when she told me I was loveless because in truth I <em> was </em> . For apart from JJ’s kindness, I’d never known love, never known what it was to <em> be loved </em> by someone. I was loveless because I had no love bestowed upon me, upon my heart.”</p>
<p>The brown orbs before her begin to water at the sheer sincerity with her words and when a lone tear breaks through the barrier Cheryl wipes it away delicately. She can’t help but lean down to press her lips gently against Toni’s forehead, savouring the moment before pulling back and meeting her eyes, smiling at her fondly. </p>
<p>She brings her hand down to her love’s back, once again tracing patterns along the exposed skin as she resumes the bearing of her soul. “I spent my whole life searching for this feeling, this dream that I thought myself fated to never know the realities of. I craved a heart to hold and hands to hold my own. I spent countless nights wondering what it would be like to have someone beside me, someone to cherish, <em> to love. </em> I felt my heart was condemned to never know the feeling of beating alongside another’s, my love destined to wither and die with never knowing what it is to give itself to someone.”</p>
<p>Toni shifts then, lifting her head from her girlfriend’s shoulder to instead prop herself up by her hand under her chin. She lifts her arm from its place slung over Cheryl’s waist to instead cup her cheek, running her thumb over her skin affectionately. </p>
<p>The redhead turns her face slightly to press a kiss to Toni’s thumb before continuing to speak, her voice filled with warmth and <em> god </em> the pink haired girl thinks it simply impossible to love the girl below her any more than she already does. “And then you came along TT, and you taught me, you <em> showed </em> me that I was worthy of love. You taught me that I wasn’t loveless, that in actuality I did know love, that I was filled with it in abundance, I simply needed someone to pledge it to, to be the receiver of all I had to give. It was as if the second I saw you, the second my heart knew yours, I finally understood that it’s not that I didn’t have love to give, it’s just my heart was waiting for the right person to give it to. I know I didn’t make it easy, but in truth from the very first moment I knew I’d found the person I wanted, <em> needed </em> to give my love to.”</p>
<p>A soft gasp escapes from Toni’s lips as another tear breaks it’s watery hold and rolls down her cheek, although this time neither girl moves to wipe it away.</p>
<p>“It’s you, my sweet, the person my heart was craving to bestow its love upon, it was waiting for you Toni Topaz.”</p>
<p>Toni, the ray of light shining in the darkness, a fragment of colour against dreary grey, a sprinkle of glitter sparkling amongst bleak hues.</p>
<p>A topaz amongst the stones.</p>
<p>
  <em> What’s in a name Cheryl? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Toni taught you that you're more than yours, didn’t she? </em>
</p>
<p>A blossom amongst the thorns.</p>
<p>“I love you Antoinette Topaz, so much so that I don’t think I’ll ever quite wrap my head around it. For all the words in my vocabulary, you so often render me speechless. Of all the precious artwork and scenes of beauty I’ve witnessed, you surpass them all. Of all the riches and wealth I’ve known, of all the gems and priceless trinkets I’ve touched, your soul is more precious than them all.”</p>
<p>
  <em> She taught you that it's not about what’s in a name. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But what’s in the heart of the person bearing it. </em>
</p>
<p>“C-Cher...” Toni trails off, having no words to adequately reply to those spoken so truly, so definitively by the girl before her. With a quiet sigh of awe and a smile holding nothing but warmth, she leans down to capture soft lips with her own, in a kiss she hopes conveys all she desires to say yet words fail to mean. </p>
<p>When Toni pulls back, Cheryl lifts the hand not tracing a myriad of patterns across love’s back from where it’s been simply resting by her side, to cup her cheek fondly, finding herself becoming lost in the warmth shining within Toni’s eyes. “You cause me no end of wonder cheriè, you give my soul no end of joy, you bring my heart no end of love. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of, the universe gave it to me in this being of utter perfection. It gave it to me in you, Antoinette Topaz.”</p>
<p>Tears are spilling freely from both their eyes. </p>
<p>Cheryl’s are born of joy at the sheer happiness held within her at the knowledge that after all the horrors she’s endured, she finally has a love to call her own, a love that is bestowed upon every part of her, even the dark corners she’d rather hide. That after all this time, there’s someone who sees her, not for the name that follows her or the past that haunts her, but for who she is, truly, honestly, and loves her in spite of it. </p>
<p><em> No, not in spite of, </em> <b> <em>including.</em> </b></p>
<p>And Toni’s? The streams running down the pink haired girl’s cheeks are created not only from her girlfriend’s words of utter honesty, but also the fact that after so many years of knowing only loss and neglect, of feeling unwanted and never quite enough, here is someone regarding her with such care, such importance, such <em> love. </em> After so long spent feeling as if she never quite measures up, here is someone that looks upon her as if she’s of the highest value, as if she’s some precious gem deserving of everything the world has to offer and far more.</p>
<p>Cheryl’s hand stills its tracing across Toni’s bare skin coming to rest at the base of her spine. Her pale fingers reach under the sheet and scratch lightly over the beginning curve of her butt. Toni drops her own hand from Cheryl’s cheek to rest on her chest, feeling the vibrations of her thumping heart beneath it.</p>
<p>The redhead feels her lips twist upwards into a smile; the special one reserved only for Toni, one filled with warmth and utter adoration. “I love you with every ounce of my soul TT, and I will spend the rest of my days trying to do better, to be the very best person I can possibly be, to be worthy of your love, <em> to be worthy of you. </em> And that’s why I wrote the letter, because it’s what <em> you’d </em> have done. You’d have done whatever it took to make things right because that’s who you are, and so that’s what I did. I did it because of you, and I did it <em> for you, </em> to be better, to do something to fix what was happening because of my name.”</p>
<p>“C-Cheryl, I...” Toni trails off, unable to quite find the right words to say. </p>
<p>She casts her mind over all that’s happened, not just these past two weeks, but her life in total. She thinks of the loss, of the pain in her chest as she calls upon memories of her parents, of her happy family before everything came crashing down and how it feels as if it was of a different lifetime. </p>
<p>But then again, Toni supposes it is in a way, for she lives a different life now, and she’s certainly not the same girl. But how could she be? After going through all she has, after enduring the torment and strife thrown at her by the universe’s cruel hand, how could she not be altered by it all? </p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>She grew up knowing only hardships, even when she was young and knew not of what was to come, life was still difficult. Even when her Saturdays were spent colouring with her mom and messing around with her dad as opposed to working her ass off at the Wyrm, they still struggled to make ends meet. And then her mom was killed and her dad jailed for turning to drugs in order to ease his grief and she was sent to live with an uncle that cared not for her existence. She’d practically raised herself, feeling nothing more than a burden that would never be deemed as enough for anyone, and ever since she’d been left to deal with her heavy heart alone.</p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy indeed Toni, uneasy indeed. </em>
</p>
<p>And then Cheryl came into her life, sauntering up to her at the drag race and taking over in a way only she could, and from that moment on her life was changed. Even from their first meeting Toni had known there was something about this girl with locks as fiery as her spirit. Fangs and Sweet Pea had teased her relentlessly with comments pertaining to the fact she’d been too busy trying to scrape her jaw from the floor to beat the redhead for having the audacity to dare steal her honours, but in truth she was helpless to do anything but stare. And then she’d thought her to be nothing more than a fleeting glimpse that would stay in her thoughts forever, but Southside High had closed and she’d found herself face to face with her once more.</p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>And yes, admittedly it had been difficult to break through the iron walls around her heart, but Toni knew it would be worth it, and oh how right she was. For in doing so she came to know the truth about Cheryl. She learnt of the girl behind the facade, and in turn revealed what lay underneath her own Serpent skin. She found a heart desperate to love and be loved in return and <em> oh how she does, </em> how she loves Cheryl. This girl who has given her a home, given her long sought after security and slowly but surely erased the pain of neglect and loss held for so long within her heart. This girl who showed her that in spite of her fears and doubts, she has value and worth, because she’s her, she’s Toni, <em> just Toni, </em> and she’s more than enough.</p>
<p>
  <em> But you have stability in her arms. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> In her words. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> In her love. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>In her.</em> </b>
</p>
<p>After a moment lost in thought trying to find the right words to form an adequate response, Toni settles on four. Four simple words that hold a complexity of meaning, that carry with them a promise that will echo through her long after the last of her breath escapes her lungs, “I love you, Cheryl.”</p>
<p>For she does, <em> irrevocably so, </em> and yet she knows that no matter how long she searches the plains of her mind for the right response, she will never find one.</p>
<p>For in truth, there are no words to aptly describe her love, no phrase or sentiment that truly encaptures the ardent depth of her feelings. She could recall every word dared uttered since the earth's beginning yet would still fail to find a single one to define the meaning of her love for Cheryl.</p>
<p>For theirs is a love whose meaning is not spoken, but<em> felt.  </em></p>
<p>A story written in a language not voiced, but whispered between two souls. Conversation held not through words tumbling from lips, but thrumming vibrations calling out from their ribbed enclosures. Murmured promises pledged not with syllables but the pulsating beating of their hearts.</p>
<p>Their love is not one that can be confined to a simple meaning or explanation, for it is not of theory but of practice, not of explanation but understanding, not of telling but of hearing. </p>
<p>No work of literature penned most poetic in nature, could ever match the profoundness of her love. Nor may a soliloquy spoken on the most coveted of stages, ever reach the acclaim as to how she regards the holder of her heart. Neither could the rhythm of music most romantic in melody, ever compare to the base beat of the song held in her heart and sung in harmony by their souls. Even a painting encapturing the most striking of visions, fails to meet in equity the true beauty of the nature of their relationship.</p>
<p>Her love for Cheryl, is immeasurable, <em> unquantifiable. </em> It’s unable to be explained or spoken of, for it isn’t meant to be. No, it is intended to be felt and expressed, cherished and acted upon.</p>
<p>Because in truth, the way she feels for the girl before her, no one else could ever comprehend, for it is one so rarely found. It’s a love of legend, a whispered myth of folklore, passed through the ages, often found only in dreams and wishes upon the brightest of stars.</p>
<p>The way she feels for Cheryl, there is no way of telling, for it is not meant to be spoken, it is meant to be shown.</p>
<p>And Toni intends on spending the rest of her life doing just that.</p>
<p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And your love defies all confinement, doesn’t it Toni? </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl leans up to capture Toni’s lips in a delicate but chaste kiss before pulling back and speaking barely above a whisper, “as I love you, mon tresor.”</p>
<p>Pink locks bounce as Toni shakes her head slightly, “I just can’t believe you did that for me Cher, that you knew what was at stake and you risked it anyway.”</p>
<p>Cheryl soothes her thumb once more over her girlfriend’s cheek before dropping it to the bed and allowing her fingers to play with the sheet idly. “But of course TT, you know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You deserve the world ma cheriè, and I know that your world wouldn’t have been truly complete without your grandparents in it, and so I knew I had to at least <em> try </em> to help ease your pain.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And you’ve had yours handed back to you haven’t you Toni? </em>
</p>
<p>Toni drops her gaze to where her hand lays against pale skin, smiling at the feel of the pulsing beneath it. She thinks of the heart that lays beneath her hand, thinks of all it’s endured and yet the good still to be found within every beat. She casts her mind over the past, over the horrors the girl before her has had slewn upon her by the universe’s cruel hand, thinks of the loss, the pain, the torment. She thinks of how Cheryl once believed the merciless words of hatred rained down upon her by her mother's tongue, how she once accepted the damnation of her name as if she truly thought herself to be born of the same evil. </p>
<p>But then she thinks of how Cheryl knows differently now, how she knows that it’s not what’s in her name that matters but what's in her, what’s in her heart. She thinks of how she wants to better her name, better <em> herself, </em> to fight against the condemnation placed upon her. The Blossom name may reside within Lucifer’s clutches, but both of them know that the same can’t be said for Cheryl. She may not be a creation of the gods, but she’s certainly no kin of the devil, for she’s Cheryl, <em> just Cheryl, </em>a rose rising from the undergrowth and doing its best to blossom.</p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But where is that crown now Toni? </em>
</p>
<p>Toni keeps her gaze cast upon her hand as she speaks, her voice holding a quiet definitiveness. “You know that even if my nana said the same as before, even if she didn’t come around I’d still have chosen you, don’t you Cher? That I’d never allow anything to try and stop the love I have for you?” She pauses for a moment, scratching her fingers gently over pale skin before speaking again, “I swear to you, I’m yours, unabashedly and wholeheartedly yours, and nothing or no one will ever change that.”</p>
<p>
  <em> You don’t need it do you? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Not with her. </em>
</p>
<p>The taller girl closes her eyes and presses a kiss against her love’s forehead, desperate to convey all she cannot with mere words. She pulls back, only slightly, Toni still able to feel the movement of Cheryl’s lips against her skin as she speaks in a voice hushed, yet full of conviction. “As I am yours, Toni, you mean the world to me, you <em> are </em> the world to me, and gosh there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you. My heart is yours Antoinette Topaz, <em> it beats for you.” </em></p>
<p>Toni gasps in awe of the sheer sincerity echoing through Cheryl’s words. She lifts her gaze from her hand to look up into Cheryl’s eyes as tears form within her own and simply <em> stares. </em> She doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, simply lays gazing into the eyes of the person her heart has taken one look at and given itself to in its entirety.</p>
<p>The redhead looks into the brown orbs baring into her own and were it anyone else, she would feel entirely uncomfortable at the intensity of the gaze bestowed upon her. </p>
<p>But this isn’t anyone, no, the eyes staring into her own belong to the woman who her heart has held itself out to and told her it’s hers for the taking. </p>
<p>This isn’t anyone, no, <em>this is Toni,</em> <b><em>her</em></b> <b><em>Toni.</em></b></p>
<p>Toni who sees her, even through the darkest of fogs.</p>
<p>Toni, who makes her <em> feel. </em></p>
<p>Toni, who is this little ball of kindness, of compassion and beauty, of elegance and joy, that radiates love and is the totality of sheer, <em> ardent perfection. </em></p>
<p>Toni, who holds in her chest a heart of the purest sense, not withered or melded by her circumstance, not carved by her life. A heart of warmth and desire, of care and an overwhelming amount of <em> love. </em></p>
<p>Toni, who has made room in that very heart for Cheryl.</p>
<p>Toni, who knows Cheryl is worthy of love, and bestows it upon her in copious amounts.</p>
<p>
  <em> That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But you don’t want any other rose, do you Toni? </em>
</p>
<p>Toni’s eyes sparkle with undefiable certainty, and <em> god </em> Cheryl knows she will spend the rest of her life thanking whichever deity deemed her worthy of being the one held within their gaze. When she speaks, her voice is quiet, as if she’s revealing the secrets of the universe within her words, “I could live a thousand lifetimes, Cheryl Blossom, and I have no doubt that my soul would find yours in each and every one of them.” </p>
<p>And <em> oh what a beautiful feeling, </em> to know your soul has found the other half of itself. Has found where it belongs. Has found its <b> <em>home.</em> </b></p>
<p>
  <em> You don’t want any other rose, Toni. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> For you have this Blossom. </em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl feels her heart thrum, the embers of the fire within her being stoked, as if the very essence of her is relishing in the pureness that is Toni Topaz. </p>
<p>
  <em> The universe heard her.  </em>
</p>
<p>It had heard her crying out into the abyss night after night, begging to whatever deity was listening, screaming for something, <em> anything </em> to make her feel whole; to make her feel as if she wasn’t simply floating numbly through the void of life.</p>
<p>And somehow, <em> someway, </em> her pleas had been heard and her prayers answered. For it’s as if the gods themselves had gifted her something of their finest creation, had bestowed upon her the most beautifully crafted piece of precious perfection.</p>
<p>The universe had made this being of utter, priceless wonder and somehow deemed Cheryl worthy of deserving to know her.</p>
<p>
  <em> And god is she thankful. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>And god does she love her.</b>
</p>
<p>Cheryl Blossom loves Toni Topaz and, as far as she’s concerned, that’s all that matters.</p>
<p><b>All that will </b> <b> <em>ever</em> </b> <b> matter.</b></p>
<p>Cheryl soothes the hand resting on Toni’s lower back along her spine, scratching her nails gently over soft skin and marveling at the goosebumps that arise in their wake. Her heart hammers within her chest and she tries to keep a grip on the emotion bubbling within her at her girlfriend’s words. </p>
<p><em> God this girl. </em> There is nothing she wouldn’t do for her, no fire she wouldn’t walk through, no end of the earth she wouldn’t venture to. She would sell her soul to the devil for the girl before her. But then again she knows that in a sense she already has, for she has given it to an angel, she’s gifted it freely, <em> willingly, </em> <b> <em>gladly,</em> </b> to the being of utter perfection laid before her. </p>
<p> “I love the very bones of you Antoinette Topaz, don’t you ever forget it.”</p>
<p>
  <em> There was never any doubt. </em>
</p>
<p>Toni leans forward to capture plump lips with her own, pouring every ounce of her soul into the kiss, desperate to convey just how much love she holds in her heart for the girl beneath her.</p>
<p>Only when oxygen begs to be brought back into their lungs do they pull apart. Cheryl steals one last chaste kiss before pressing her hand gently against the back of her beloved’s neck and guiding her to settle against her chest before returning it to her back.</p>
<p>For a moment there is stillness, the only movement being Cheryl’s fingers dancing over Toni’s exposed skin, tracing a myriad of patterns across the expanse of her back as both girls lose themselves in thought.</p>
<p>Toni finds her mind casting itself back over all that’s happened these past two weeks, all the heartache and pain, the loss and torment.</p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>Except it’s over now. Her nana had accepted that she wasn’t going to let any limits hold her love out, not even one placed upon her by kin. She’d seen that the ancient grudge carried within her heart was taking up the space in which her granddaughter’s present happiness should reside. And Toni can accept that her grandparents will need time, that this won’t be easy for them. She understands that the pain of the past is still held within them, for in truth it’s still harbored within her own chest. It’s just that the love she holds for the heart within Cheryl soothes the pain.</p>
<p>
  <em> And oh how those gems weigh it down, Toni. </em>
</p>
<p>For around Cheryl there is no weighted gem pressing down on her shoulders, no heirloom to protect and birthright to carry. There are no fears of not being enough, of knowing only loss and never gain.</p>
<p>Cheryl removed her crown of rocks, removed the name carrying the burdening pressure of past and legacy and replaced it with stability within her embrace.</p>
<p>For Cheryl sees Toni, <b>just Toni.</b></p>
<p>
  <em> And oh how those thorns scratch. </em>
</p>
<p>For around Toni, the thorns don’t scar her skin, the pungent toxicity doesn’t invade her body and attempt to drag her back down to the cursed damnation from which her name was born.</p>
<p>Toni removed her crown of thorns, removed the name carrying the haunting sin of the past from her back and replaced it with clarity within her gaze.</p>
<p>For Toni sees Cheryl, <b>just Cheryl.</b></p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But around each other you don't wear one, do you? </em>
</p>
<p>For their love is no boulder amongst the thorns.</p>
<p>
  <em> But a gem laid amongst petals. </em>
</p>
<p>There are no names, no pasts, there is only <em> them.  </em></p>
<p>
  <b>There is only their love. </b>
</p>
<p>Because to Toni, it only matters who Cheryl <em> is, </em> not what she’s said to be. </p>
<p>To Toni, it only matters how Cheryl makes her <em> feel. </em> </p>
<p>To Toni, she’s Cheryl, <em> just Cheryl, </em>nothing more nothing less. </p>
<p>And to Cheryl, well, Toni is <b>everything.</b> </p>
<p>
  <em> What’s in a name?  </em>
</p>
<p>History, prejudice, repercussions of ancestors, a past unable to be forgotten, claws of family desperate to ensure said name is maintained in the very evil nature it’d been created.</p>
<p>
  <em> But what’s in a person?  </em>
</p>
<p>A soul, a warm beating heart, laughter and joy, the craving to be loved and to <em> give </em> love and a desperation to be nothing more than happy.</p>
<p>
  <em> What’s in their love? </em>
</p>
<p>Warmth and nurture, care and long sought after stability. Two souls bonded together in spite of the forces attempting to keep them apart.</p>
<p>For neither girl loves the other for what they wish them to be, <b>but for all that they already are.</b></p>
<p>
  <em> Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. </em>
</p>
<p>But around Cheryl, Toni doesn’t wear one, doesn’t <em> need </em> one. </p>
<p>Yes her girlfriend sees her as royalty and treats her as one might a queen, and yes she may be the ruler of her heart, but in truth, there are no crowns. </p>
<p>There’s just them. </p>
<p>Just her and Cheryl.</p>
<p>
  <em> What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet. </em>
</p>
<p>There’s just her and Cheryl, no Blossom no Topaz. </p>
<p>No ancient grudge and feud of hatred, but the present bond of love.</p>
<p>
  <em> For stony limits cannot hold love out. </em>
</p>
<p>There is only their love.</p>
<p>Just two hearts beating together in perfect syncopation. Two souls finding a home in one another, two loves binding together and conquering the walls trying to block its path.</p>
<p>A love that will override all.</p>
<p>
  <em> And what love can do, that dares love attempt. </em>
</p>
<p>A love that has been tested countless times, and yet always prevails, always overcomes the stones thrown before it.</p>
<p>
  <em> Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me. </em>
</p>
<p>It doesn't matter the name she came from, does it Toni?</p>
<p>Only who she <em> is. </em></p>
<p>Only the heart she carries.</p>
<p>And how she holds yours.</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.</em> </b>
</p>
<p>But there is no crown, there is no unease. </p>
<p>There is no lingering past or weighted names. </p>
<p>There is only who they are, not what they’re said to be.</p>
<p>There are no thorns dripping in sin.</p>
<p>There is only a rose rising from the undergrowth, serving as a stark reminder that love blossoms no matter how barren the soil from which it grows.</p>
<p>There is no coldhearted hatred and resentment.</p>
<p>There is only warmth and comfort, care and security, adoration and desire, nurture and tenderness. </p>
<p>There is love.</p>
<p>
  <em> Just love. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Just them.</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b> <em>Just Cheryl and Toni.</em> </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed and once again thank you for sticking with me!</p>
<p>Right, did someone say Chronicles of Nigel....</p>
<p>Luce :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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